


Eternally

by rinthegreat



Series: Eternal Verse [1]
Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Drama, Eternal Summer spoilers, Friends With Benefits, Friendship, M/M, Pining, Post episode 2, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-15
Updated: 2015-01-25
Packaged: 2018-02-08 22:44:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 65,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1958904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rinthegreat/pseuds/rinthegreat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Sousuke's warning to Haru, things have seemed a little off.  Makoto doesn't know what's up and goes to the only person who might be able to help; Rin.  Things spiral out of control from there.  Now complete.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hero

**Author's Note:**

> 1/14/2018: Thank you to everyone who has read and commented and kudosed and bookmarked this fic! I am working my way (slowly) through this, editing it. I hope you enjoy the changes, as I believe they will make this fic better (rather than the other way around).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1/14/2018: this chapter has been edited. The rest of the fic will follow slowly.

Being backed up against a vending machine by someone as large and silently intimidating as Yamazaki isn’t as romantic as it looks in shoujo manga. Reality is far more terrifying, Haru discovers. There’s far less romantic tension and far more fear of getting punched in the face, as it turns out. And when Yamazaki walks away, shoulders tense as if _he_ were the one being backed into the machine rather than the other way around, Haru’s left to stand there staring after him dumbly.

Later, long after the relay ended in an Iwatobi victory, Makoto had asked him if something was wrong. Haru had brushed it off, assuring Makoto that everything was fine. The moment between him and Yamazaki was a private matter, and though Haru feels anything _but_ fine, he knows Makoto would make it into something that it’s not.

Makoto would think Yamazaki had been bullying him or something, which is laughable really. (Except Haru’s shoulder throbs a little at the memory, and really it feels anything but laughable.)

‘Bullying’ isn’t really the term Haru would attach to what happened though. Language isn’t his strongest suit, so the closest word he finds to attach to what happened is ‘protective’, though that doesn’t feel quite right either. Regardless, it was unwelcome and unsettling to say the least, and he’s more than pleased when they finally leave Iwatobi Returns, miraculously without getting shanghaied into dinner with the Samezuka team.

The Iwatobi team hops on the train together, but Nagisa and Rei only stay with them two stops before they have to get off at their own. Makoto and Haru sit in silence for the rest of the train ride, not even moving until the conductor announces the Iwatobi stop.

The walk from the station is long but familiar. The sun starts to set by the time they hit the Uradome coast, faint pinks filling the sky. Without a word, Makoto follows Haru all the way up the stairs to his house, and Haru knows that to mean that Makoto didn’t buy the ‘everything’s fine’ for a moment.

Haru cooks his mackerel in silence while Makoto hums and shuffles papers around in the living room. Something’s on his mind, and Haru dreads the thought of Makoto wanting to know what it is. He has a simple answer, in the event Makoto actually _asks_ ; he’d wanted to race Rin, and he hadn’t had the chance. It’s not a complete lie. He _had_ wanted to race Rin.

That’s just not why he’s upset now.

“Hey Haru-cha—”

“Don’t say –chan,” he interrupts automatically, not even looking around.

“Haru, then,” Makoto amends. “Have you thought about it anymore? What Rin said, I mean.” Makoto taps his fingers on the table in a rapid beat Haru doesn’t recognize. “Are you planning to swim like he is?”

Ah. Haru breathes a sigh of relief, shoulders dropping where they’d been unknowingly tense. So this isn’t about his lie after all.

Really, Haru should’ve known Makoto would ask about this. It’s the most common topic of conversation amongst their peers right now. He’s seen the way Makoto’s eyes dart to him when their classmates decide to include either of them in the conversation. He tends to ignore it, shrugging and looking out the window to see if he can spot a hawk. He gets called strange for that, but at least they leave him in peace.

Despite all the conversations, and even Rin’s direct question, Haru hasn’t thought about what to do after graduation at all. Well that’s not quite true. He’s thought about it a little. Enough to know that this might be the first school year he wishes wouldn’t end. But had Makoto really thought he would have an answer already? He barely thinks far enough ahead to make sure he has enough fish for the week.

Which he does. (He has to check though.)

Haru shrugs and walks over to the table, setting it for the two of them. Makoto immediately shoves his papers off the table. They’re all flyers for different universities and programs. Haru catches sight of one for a medical school and raises his eyebrows silently. If it’s important, Makoto will tell him.

“Eat,” he instructs, sitting down. Before the other can repeat his question, Haru pops a piece of mackerel into his own mouth, making it clear he won’t answer.

That doesn’t stop Makoto.

“I mean,” Makoto continues, “he’s right that I haven’t thought about it. I guess I always figured we’d end up going somewhere together.” At this he gives Haru a look, before picking at his rice with his chopsticks. “But now I’m not so sure.”

Haru cringes. Makoto wouldn’t admit something like that if he weren’t in some kind of crisis. Despite his outward put-together appearance, Haru knows Makoto struggles to keep his head above metaphorical water. Makoto just struggles silently. So the fact that he’s outright admitting that he doesn’t know what to do tells Haru everything he needs to know.

But he can’t help Makoto. Hell, he can’t even help himself.

“I just want to know what you’re thinking,” Makoto begs. “If you’ve thought about it at all. Maybe that will help me set some kind of goal.”

Haru swallows his bite and levels his gaze to meet Makoto’s. “I don’t know…” he admits finally. He needs to be careful with how he explains himself. He doesn’t want to crush Makoto, but he doesn’t want to give him false information either. “I thought maybe I would swim with Rin but –“ Haru has to bite down his next words.

It’s too much to hope Makoto wouldn’t have noticed. “But what?” he prompts.

Haru flounders mentally for a moment before confessing, “But Rin was right: I would’ve had to be training harder.”

“But Haru, you’re fast!” Makoto argues immediately. He’s always been like this: jumping to Haru’s defense over things he doesn’t need defending over. Haru’s life would’ve been a lot simpler had Makoto been the one he fell for.

“Fast or not, going professional is a big deal,” Haru argues. He isn’t stupid; he knows he can’t just say things like _I don’t care about my time_ and expect to get somewhere with it. He knows wanting to swim at the international level would take a kind of commitment he never had before. Before Rin went to Australia, they used to watch the international meets together as well as the interviews afterward. Being in love with the water and being in love with the sport were two different things, and realistically, he knew he would always only fit into one of those categories.

Makoto watches Haru with that calculating look he gets before doing something he knows Haru won’t like. “You know, if you’re serious about it you could always talk to Rin. I’m sure he’d let you practice with their team sometimes,” Makoto muses slowly. “I think they have morning workouts. You could double up.”

“No.” Even Haru is surprised by how harsh he sounds. “It wouldn’t be fair if I trained with them and then raced against them.” He’s only telling a partial truth; in reality, Haru doesn’t want to train with him because he doesn’t _know_. He doesn’t know what it would mean, if it would force him into doing something with his life that he can’t convince himself is really his dream.

And he doesn’t want to see Yamazaki every day.

Makoto nods slowly. “Ah, of course,” he says, letting the conversation mercifully go. They eat the rest of their meal in silence before Makoto excuses himself, clearly eager to escape their awkward situation.

 

* * *

 

 

It takes Makoto all of a minute after leaving Haru’s place to call Rin; 30 seconds to get out of earshot and 30 more for luck. The phone rings three times before Rin picks up. “Makoto?” He sounds surprised. Not that Makoto blames him. It’s not like he calls all the time just to talk or anything.

“Hey Rin! How are you?” Makoto winces at the sound of his own voice. He can feel the false enthusiasm as if it were a physical thing. He paces back and forth in front of his house, hoping that the nervous energy will disappear if he continues moving.

There’s a pause on the other end before Rin replies. “…Hey. We have a lot of training to do, so I don’t know if we’ll be able to put together another relay like before…” Rin says slowly. He sounds so serious. If they were better friends, Makoto would’ve said something about how he’s really matured since becoming captain. But they aren’t, so instead he says:

“Um, no it’s not about that. It’s about something different, actually.” He hears a noise in the background, and his manners immediately kick in. “Are you busy? Am I interrupting something?”

Another pause. “Yeah, sorry,” Rin sounds genuinely apologetic. “I’m in the middle of something actually. Is it important?”

“Um no. It’s okay. Sorry to interrupt.” He can’t help but feel a little let down, and some of that slips into his voice.

There’s rustling in the background again before Rin’s muffled yell comes through the phone, shouting at someone to shut up. His voice sounds again in Makoto’s ear, a little irritated. “Can I call you back? What’s this about?” Makoto prays Rin is irritated at whoever won’t shut up and not at him.

He hesitates. Something has been getting Haru down since their informal relay against Samezuka, but when he’s usually down for this long it has to do with Rin. On the one hand, Rin is probably the only one who can fix it. On the other, Haru might be pissed that he even went to Rin in the first place.

The part of him that wants to see Haru back to normal again wins out, and Makoto finally answers, “It’s about Haru.”

Silence.

“Rin?” he asks nervously, still pacing.

“Meet me at the old club in an hour,” Rin instructs.

Makoto stops mid-step. “The Iwatobi swim club?”

“That’s the one. I’ll meet you outside the main doors in an hour.” There’s a click, and the phone goes dead.

Makoto looks back and forth down the abandoned street, debating what to do. The last of the sun’s rays still appear over the tops of the houses lower on the hill, and ordinarily Makoto would bolt inside, scared of what could appear after dark.

But Rin told him to be at the old swim club in an hour, and Makoto isn’t going to stand him up. So he marches down the steps, heading purposely towards their old haunt. It’ll take him about an hour to walk anyway.

\----

Rin isn’t there by the time Makoto arrives. A quick check of his phone reveals that Makoto’s ten minutes early. He walked faster than he’d thought.

Makoto flops down on the bench outside the club and flips through his phone. He should do something productive like study his flashcards or take one of those ‘what should you be when you grow up’ online quizzes to help him figure out what to do with his life. But the former sounds tedious even in his own mind, and the latter has Makoto vaguely panicking again. So instead he pulls up bejeweled and passes the time trying to beat his last high score.

Footsteps draw his attention back to reality, and Makoto looks up to see Rin appear, wearing that same baseball hat he wore when he came back from Australia. Makoto locks his phone and stands up hastily. “Sorry to call you so late,” he apologizes.

“It’s fine,” Rin tells him, face unusually serious.

Well, that’s not quite true. Seriousness was unusual for the old Rin, the Rin Makoto knew back in elementary school. This new Rin is more somber, smiles less than the old version. This new Rin doesn’t wear his emotions so visibly.

Makoto barely knows this new Rin.

Rin shakes his head. “You sounded kind of strange on the phone, and you never call. I figured something was up.”

He sits down on the bench Makoto had just vacated and looks up at Makoto expectantly. A moment later, Makoto joins him. “You said it was about Haru?” Rin prompts.

“Yeah, I…” Makoto suddenly finds himself unsure of what to say. He’d called Rin without a plan beyond _get him to fix Haru_ , and he doesn’t even know enough about what’s wrong to articulate it. “Haru’s been acting…strange.”

“Haru is strange,” Rin points out.

Makoto smiles. This new Rin might be unrecognizable in some ways, but in others, he’s the same as the old Rin. “Strange for him, I mean,” Makoto clarifies. “Since our practice relay against you guys.” He frowns, thinking about his own problems and wonders if maybe Haru’s aren’t so different after all. “I think it might be related to what you said before. About what we’re going to do after graduation, I mean. I’ve tried to get an answer out of him a lot.” Mostly because he thinks it will help him figure out what to do himself, but Makoto isn’t going to tell Rin that. “The first time he answered at all was today, and all he said was that he doesn’t want to swim professionally. Like you.”

Rin keeps silent through Makoto’s monologue, doing nothing more than lean back in his seat once Makoto finishes. His expression is unreadable, and Makoto wishes Rin had called him out when it wasn’t so dark out. Rin exhales, the ghost of a laugh in the sound. “I always knew it was wishful thinking: that Haru feels the same about swimming as me.”

“You’re not surprised?”

Rin shakes his head. “I mean, it’s not in his nature, is it? Haru likes the water, yes, but he doesn’t like competing as much. If you want to go pro you have to want it all. You have to eat, sleep, and live competition. It’s not his thing.”

“He sounded like he had thought about it, though,” Makoto insists. For someone who constantly insists that Haru’s his rival, Rin is being rather…blasé about this whole thing.

“Well yeah,” Rin shrugs. “It’s swimming. Haru loves swimming.”

This time it’s Makoto’s turn to shake his head. “No. I mean, he sounded regretful.”

Rin turns to look at Makoto, the shadows cast by his hat still hiding his expression. “Like he wants to go pro? What did he say?”

“Just that it was too late to do anything now. I even suggested he ask to train with you, but he said no.” Makoto starts to get worked up again, realizing that Rin might not be any more well equipped to solve this than he himself is. “No to more time in a pool. He didn’t even think about it, he just said no.” Makoto frowns at the shadows over Rin’s face. “You aren’t fighting again, are you?”

“No…I don’t think so,” Rin replies thoughtfully. “We’ve been getting along really well actually.”

“Do you think maybe you could talk to him? He won’t talk to me about whatever it is, and I don’t want to pressure him.” The real reason for Makoto calling Rin comes out, but he doesn’t feel as relieved as he thought. Still tightly wound, like a spring about to snap.

“Sure,” Rin agrees easily. “But if he’s not talking to you about it, then there’s no chance he’ll talk to me.”

Makoto frowns. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Come on, Makoto.” There’s a lightness in Rin’s voice, almost like hidden laughter. “You and Haru have always been really close.”

“Well, yes, we’re best friends. But that doesn’t mean he –“

“That’s not what I mean,” Rin cuts him off.

“I really don’t.”

Rin leans in close enough that Makoto can make out his features for the first time. Rin’s eyebrows are raised, his look suggestive in a way that makes Makoto hot. “I think you do,” Rin tells him, voice gruff.

It takes a moment longer for the meaning to sink in, and then Makoto finally gets it. “No,” he denies too quickly. He tries to save himself, but that just results in him protesting more. “I mean, we’re not like that.”

“Come on, Makoto,” Rin repeats, voice softer this time. Makoto hasn’t heard him sound like this in a long time.

Something inside him snaps, and he finds himself blurting out the truth to the absolute last person who should ever hear it. “It’s not that I don’t _want_ to,” Makoto admits. “It’s…I’m not the one he wants.”

“How do you know that?” Rin asks, obviously surprised. “I’m sure Haru –“

“He told me,” Makoto interrupts. The rudeness of his action catches up with him barely a second later, and he fumbles around for a proper apology. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt you. I’m so sorry.”

Rin doesn’t seem offended by the interruption at all, instead continuing with his questions. “He told you? He flat out turned you down and said he liked someone else?”

“No…he doesn’t know I…he just told me he...likes someone else,” Makoto flounders. He doesn’t know why he even brought this up to Rin of all people. This isn’t the reason he invited Rin out here in the first place. Makoto needs to get them back on topic before he ends up revealing all is secrets to Rin just to make his mind shut up. “I’m sorry,” Makoto apologizes again. “This isn’t relevant. I shouldn’t…”

This time, Rin doesn’t interrupt him with words. He pushes himself into Makoto’s space, engulfing him in an awkward, one-armed hug, cutting Makoto’s thoughts off along with his voice.

“I’ll talk to him,” Rin promises. “Don’t worry about it.” He pats Makoto on the shoulder awkwardly. Or maybe Makoto is projecting his own feelings into the situation. Who knows. “And, uh, don’t worry about the other thing either, okay? I’m sure it will all work out…”

No, Makoto isn’t projecting at all; the words are uttered in a tone that can’t be interpreted as anything _but_ awkward. The hug, the shoulder pat, the assurance that everything will be fine, all of it is so ridiculous that Makoto can’t help but laugh. And once he starts he can’t stop. Rin breaks off the hug and gives him what Makoto can only imagine is a strange look.

“I’m sorry,” Makoto apologizes, not meaning it at all. He’s still laughing. “This whole situation is just ridiculous. I’m spilling my guts to you, and we aren’t even really friends. How pathetic am I?” Despite himself, his voice comes out more self-deprecating than amused.

“Makoto, you’re not pathetic,” Rin assures him. “And we are friends. I don’t know what I did to make you think we aren’t, but –“

For the second time that night, Makoto interrupts Rin. “Oh no it was nothing you did, really. It’s probably my fault anyway…” He trails off, not knowing where he was planning to go with that.

They both fall silent after Makoto’s admission. How had things turned out like this? A week ago, he was the happy captain of the world’s smallest swim team, made up of his close friends. Now, he’s borderline hysterical over the fact that he can no longer read his closest friend and has no idea what he wants to do with his life.

Why had he called Rin out here in the first place?

“Let’s have lunch,” Rin blurts out.

“What?” Makoto stares at Rin, but the shadows over his hat are too deep for him to read the expression on his face again. Shouldn’t Rin be irritated for being called out here so late for virtually no reason? At the very least, Rin should think Makoto’s insane for laughing at nothing.

“Let’s have lunch,” Rin repeats. “Mom and Gou want me home this weekend for some reason anyway. We can catch up…or something.”

The invitation takes Makoto by such surprise, he actually speaks without thinking. “Yes. I’d like that,” he accepts. His parents had planned to take the twins into the city, something about a school project. He’d planned to use the time alone to study, but lunch sounds infinitely better. “Saturday work?”

“Saturday sounds great.” Rin stands up. “I have to catch the last bus, but I’ll see you then.” He pauses before adding, “We won’t talk about Haru this time.” Rin nods a little to himself before walking away with a wave.

“I’ll see you…” Makoto calls after his back. It takes him another fifteen minutes after Rin leaves to stand up. His legs tingle from having fallen asleep, and he walks home shakily. The meeting with Rin hadn’t exactly gone the way he’d planned. Maybe it’ll make more sense tomorrow morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on [Tumblr](https://rinthegreat.tumblr.com/) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/rinthegreat_ao3) to see what I'm working on and how to support me.


	2. Still With Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin and Makoto meet for lunch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1/29/2018: This chapter has finally beed edited! Like the previous one, the changes are noticeable. In broad strokes: this fic was a "reader driven fic", as in I created a survey and readers voted on which ships should be represented and what the end game would be. At the time, that meant I wrote this without knowing the plot. Now that I know it, I can add in details I couldn't before.
> 
> I hope you all enjoy these changes!

“What did you say you were going home for again?” Rin asks as he shoves some clothes into his overnight bag. He and Sousuke are in their room packing to leave for the weekend. Well, Rin’s packing. Sousuke already finished and is now lounging on Rin’s bunk waiting for him. Rin almost feels bad for making the other wait, but after he thinks about the extra training he put himself through this morning, he doesn’t.

Sousuke blinks up at him, not looking the least bit upset that he has to repeat himself for the millionth time that night. “Grandmother’s birthday, and I still need some things.” Short and to the point as usual.

“Oh right,” Rin goes back to packing, trying to remember if he’d already thrown his razor in his bag. Sousuke, as if reading his mind, nods to him. Sure enough, it’s sitting just on top. He must’ve grabbed it moments earlier. “Reading my mind as always,” Rin teases.

They’d been thick as thieves before Rin had transferred to Iwatobi Elementary. Sousuke could always tell what he was thinking, and Rin always knew exactly what buttons to push in order to get certain responses from Sousuke. It was nice, actually, to see that they hadn’t lost those abilities all these years later.

Rin had been terrible with keeping in contact with him when he’d transferred elementary schools, and his ability had only gotten worse when he’d gone to Australia. So to be able to fall back into _that_ friendship with ease was…nice to say the least. He didn’t know what he would’ve done if it had ended up like his reunion with Haru last year.

“What about you?” Sousuke asks. Rin had originally been planning on leaving Saturday evening, but his lunch with Makoto made him change his plans.

“I’m meeting Ma- someone for lunch. Last minute plans.” He tries to brush the question off, hoping Sousuke won’t ask more than that.

Rin’s not sure why he doesn’t just _tell_ Sousuke, but something about his meeting with Makoto feels…private. They’d been close back in elementary school and now Makoto doesn’t even think they’re friends anymore. He doesn’t think Sousuke will ask to come along, but even so, Rin can’t help but want to keep this meeting between himself and Makoto only.

Sousuke frowns, as if putting together who Rin could be meeting with, but he doesn’t push it any further than that. “Sounds fun,” he allows. “You forgot to pack your toothbrush though.” He points at Rin’s desk where his toothbrush is sitting, and Rin grabs it. Sousuke’s teasing him about something; Rin can hear it in his voice, but he can’t identify what it’s about. So instead he finishes his packing, studiously ignoring Sousuke’s smug presence in the background.

They make their way to the train in silence. Rin is exhausted from his self-imposed extra training, and Sousuke has never been one to initiate small talk. The silence isn’t awkward, though; it never has been between them.

They both take the same train towards Iwatobi, but Sousuke gets off at their usual Sano stop while Rin stays on. “Iwatobi?” Sousuke asks knowingly.

“Yeah.”

Sousuke gives him a look like he wants to say something, but the doors ding their warning, and he changes his mind. Sousuke makes it off the train before the doors close, and Rin watches his retreating back till it disappears, knowing Sousuke thinks he’s meeting with Haru. He gets this pinched look on his face whenever Rin mentions him, but he hasn’t said anything bad yet.

Sometime, Rin will actually ask about that.

The train doesn’t take long to reach Iwatobi from there. Rin hops off the train immediately and starts heading down the street towards the Uradome coast. He pulls out his phone and calls Makoto.

The other answers after two rings, sounding overly polite as usual. “Hello? This is Tachibana Makoto.”

“You don’t need to answer so formally, you know. You have caller id,” Rin points out, smiling even though Makoto can’t see him.

“Rin? Hey. How are you?”

“We didn’t really set a time or anything for today. You still free?” He hears a clatter on Makoto’s side of the call followed by what sounds like ‘shoot’. Rin chuckles. “Don’t hurt yourself.”

“I just dropped a book on my foot, sorry.”

“You’re studying still? Come on, live a little.”

“I have to prepare for my entrance exams, Rin.”

Rin rolls his eyes, even though he knows Makoto can’t see him do it. “Yeah, yeah. But you’re still planning to meet me for lunch right?”

“Yes of course! Where are we meeting?”

Rin thinks a moment before remembering Gou talking about going to a new restaurant with her friend the other day. “How about we head to that sushi place near the beach? The one that opened recently.”

“Sounds great! What time should I meet you there?”

“I’m actually already on my way.”

“Really? I’ll just finish up here and –“ There’s another muffled crash followed by more polite cursing.

“Try not to break your foot before then,” Rin advises with a chuckle. “See you in a bit.” He hangs up the call and hoists his bag higher over his shoulder as he heads down the street. It’s a bit of a walk, but the weather’s nice. Should give Makoto enough time to finish studying.

 

* * *

 

 

After Makoto drops the rest of his books on the floor – managing to avoid hitting his foot this time – he figures it’s time to call it quits. He heads out of his house without bothering to pick them up and walks straight to the sushi restaurant Rin had mentioned. He’s the first to arrive once again, and the waitress gestures for him to take a seat wherever he wants. He recognizes her from high school, but something makes him think she graduated last year.

He heads to a booth near the back, by a window that looks out on the water. From back here, the sea isn’t so scary. It’s pretty. He can see why Haru likes it so much.

The waitress returns, placing two menus down at the booth before leaving again, and Makoto takes the time to flip through their options. He can’t quite believe he’s here, meeting Rin for lunch. The two of them had never really been all that close; Haru had always been the glue that held them together. But Makoto had always admired Rin. Even last year when Rin had come back to them as a shattered version of his former self, Makoto had been impressed by his drive.

Rin had been the one to help Makoto overcome his fear of water all those years ago, even if Rin hadn’t known what he’d been doing. Makoto’s positive that Rin doesn’t realize that he’d helped Makoto relearn how to be comfortable in a pool so that he could spend time with Haru, doing what Haru loved rather than fighting down a panic attack the way he had before.

Someday, maybe, Makoto will bring that up.

“Hey.” Makoto's jerked back to reality as the object of his thoughts slides into the seat across from him.

Rin drops his bag next do himself, and it makes a heavy thunk when it hits the ground. Makoto's brain helpfully supplies that Rin carried that all the way from the station without breaking a sweat. He almost asks if Rin even got a workout in today before he clamps down on that thought. It's Rin, of course he worked out today.

He's not wearing his Samezuka gear this time, dressed instead in a casually put together outfit that would look horrible and mismatched on anyone but makes Rin look like a model. The contrast between that and the picture Makoto had in his head of Rin throws him for a loop. Rin’s always been good looking; why is he shocked?

“You look pained,” Rin adds. “Did you drop another book on your feet?”

Makoto shakes his head adamantly. “Not on my foot. They all fell on the floor when I hung up.” His cheeks heat at the harsh bark of laughter Rin lets out in response. “I'm not pained,” Makoto insists. “I'm just surprised that we’re here. I didn't think – I wasn’t sure if you were serious about lunch.”

“I’m always serious when food’s involved,” Rin assures him. He pulls the menu towards himself, looking through it. His tongue clicks as he reads, and a little furrow appears between his brows. “Though I wish Gou would’ve recommended a steak restaurant instead.”

Makoto laughs a little awkwardly. “Ha, yeah. Haru told me –“

“What did I say about talking about Haru?” Rin asks sharply, looking up and staring straight into Makoto’s eyes. It’s piercing and a little offsetting, making Makoto’s stomach flip flop nervously. “Haru’s off limits. We’re here to hang out with each other and relax. This is a no-stress zone.” Rin draws an imaginary line at the entrance to the booth, eyes softening even as his voice stays sharp.

“Okay…” Makoto concedes. He tries to think of another topic, one that won’t stress out Rin. “So have you started preparing for college entrance exams yet?” He lands on, wincing when he realizes what he just said. “Wait. I don’t –“

Rin raises his eyebrows at Makoto and points to the spot where he’d just drawn the invisible line. “No stress.”

Makoto can’t help it; he chuckles. Rin’s so serious at keeping this meeting away from stressful topics. It’s amusing. “Fair enough,” he agrees. “No stress. What do you want to talk about then?” he asks, clearly out of topic ideas. His mind has been consumed by Haru and future plans. There’s no way he can reasonably be expected to come up with anything else.

Rin shrugs and pulls the paper towards himself, selecting a few sushi rolls. “You okay with these?” he asks, pushing the paper to the edge of the table when Makoto nods. “Anything you want as long as it doesn’t stress either of us out. So basically, anything that isn’t Haru or studies. So I’ll send your question right back. What do _you_ want to talk about?”

Makoto frowns, thinking a second. He really can’t think of anything outside of those two topics. It’s like when someone says _don’t think about pink elephants_. It’s all that pops through his brain. “Uh…”

Rin shoots him a slight smile. “How’s your family been then?’

Makoto nearly breathes out a sigh of relief. “Good. Really good. Last weekend, Ren and Ran…”

The conversation flows smoothly from there.

Eventually, though, they end up breaking the no-stress rule. They only manage to get halfway through the first roll before Makoto can’t hold it in anymore. “I don’t know what I’m going to do after graduation,” he confesses during a long pause in their conversation. “I don’t even know what exams to study for.” He carefully avoids bringing up that his plans are subject to change depending what Haru does. “I’ve looked at different programs in different universities, but I can’t even narrow it down. Do I want to study medicine in Kyoto? Do I want to study teaching in Tokyo? Or should I just bypass the whole system and stay here as a firefighter? I can’t even pick where I want to be let alone what I want to do. I don’t…”

Rin stays silent as Makoto’s speech dissolves into nonsense, and Makoto’s painfully aware of the fact that he’s rambling. He slams his mouth shut forcefully. “Sorry,” he adds sheepishly. “You said no stress.”

Rin chews the sushi he’d been eating before saying, “I think you’d make a great doctor.”

Makoto stares. “But those are really hard. I’d have to be more intelligent, and take more tests and –“

“You’re plenty intelligent,” Rin interrupts. “It’s not your intelligence holding you back. Do you want to be a doctor? Or a teacher or a firefighter? What’s stopping you from pursuing any of them?”

Makoto opens his mouth dumbly, unable to answer.

“It’s Haru, isn’t it?” Rin breaks the second rule not to talk about the other swimmer himself. “You don’t want to make a decision on what to do until you know what Haru does. Do you?”

Makoto goes numb. Haru’s the one who’s supposed to be able to read him, and yet here Rin is, making observations as if he’s the one who’s been spending all his time with Makoto. He’s not even mad that Rin saw through him so easily. Or, at least, he’s not mad at Rin. So he nods.

“I’ll talk to him,” Rin promises.

“No, it’s okay…” Makoto argues weakly.

Rin sets his chopsticks down, fixing Makoto with his piercing stare once again. Just like before, Makoto’s stomach flops around uncomfortably in his gut. “That’s why you told me this, isn’t it? So I can talk to Haru?” Rin asks, gentle voice contrasting with his intense gaze.

Makoto hadn’t thought of that. He’d met with Rin because he wants to be friends with Rin outside Haru. Despite them being connected by swimming, Rin is a refreshing presence to be around, bringing a different perspective. He’s filled with drive and ambition and he has definite goals. There hadn’t been an alternative motive to agreeing to lunch.

But maybe his subconscious had one. After all, he’d called Rin the first time because he thought Rin would know what to do about Haru. He thought maybe if Rin could talk to Haru, then it would fix everything. If he hadn’t wanted Rin to talk to Haru about this, then why would he have brought it up in the first place?

“But –“ he starts, not knowing where he’s going with this.

Luckily, Rin interrupts him. “No but’s about it, Makoto. It’s not a big deal; I’ve been wondering what he’s planning to do since you confirmed my suspicions about his swimming career. Lack of one, I mean. I wanted to talk to him anyway.”

Even if Rin’s just saying that to make Makoto feel better, it works. He smiles softly at the redhead sitting across from him. “Thanks.”

Rin flushes at that, clearly embarrassed by Makoto’s gratefulness. “Don’t worry about it,” he assures again. “Just promise me you won’t study yourself to death.”

“I promise,” Makoto agrees with a chuckle.

They finish their lunch without bringing either topic up again and head back towards Makoto’s house together. He pauses up the stairs before turning down the side street towards his house. To his surprise, Rin hovers as well. A cloud of awkwardness suddenly hangs over them, and Makoto finds himself at a loss for words.

“Uh…thanks for inviting me to lunch,” he decides on. “I had fun.”

Rin smiles at him, one of his softer smiles that doesn’t reveal his full set of sharp teeth. “I did too,” he agrees. “We should hang out more often.”

“We should.”

Silence falls between them again, but neither of them make a move to break it. Eventually, Rin clears his throat, tugging on his bag’s shoulder strap. “Just remember your promise, Makoto. No studying to death.”

“I’ll try,” Makoto agrees again.

Rin opens his mouth again but closes it with a sharp click. He nods and turns away, back towards the stairs to Haru’s house. “I’ll see you around.”

“Yeah,” Makoto replies, even as Rin ascends the stairway. “See you.”

 

* * *

 

           

The bath isn’t the same as a pool, Haru bemoans as he sits half submerged in his tub. Confined inside this small space, the water feels more dead than alive, the way it does in the ocean or even the pool. He knows, objectively, that water is still water, the same way he knows, objectively, that it’s juvenile for him to feel bad for containing the water inside his bathtub.

That doesn’t stop him.

He’s brought out of his thought cycle by a knock on the front door. Haru frowns, sinking lower in the bath. He and Makoto never made plans to hang out today, had they? What day is it anyway?

He could check, but his phone is on the stool by the door, far from the water. As if reading his mind, the object in question buzzes.

Haru’s frown deepens. Not Makoto then; he knows better than to call. Makoto knows to check the back door and walk into the bathroom. So who could it be? Gou maybe? She’d stopped by the year prior, and she wouldn’t know that his back door opens. Ah, well, he doesn’t want to talk about swimming right now. She should go to Makoto with her crazy diet plans for the team instead.

His phone falls silent, saving Haru the trouble of thinking about it. He folds his hands together, leaving a small gap between them, and presses the water out. It flies in a flawless arc, hitting Saba-chan on the head. Ten out of ten, a perfect score.

The back door slides open. So it is Makoto then. Haru sighs and submerges his head, blowing bubbles half-heartedly as he waits for Makoto to come into the bathroom. He doesn’t have the energy to deal with this right now. He half-hears what sounds like Makoto shouting at him in the hallway, but Haru ignores it, pushing out more bubbles through his nose.

Moments later, the bathroom door opens. Haru can barely make out a humanoid shape through the bath before a hand plunges in and wraps around his bicep, pulling him up. He splutters, snorting out some water that rushes up his nose and glares.

It’s not Makoto.

“Rin?”

The other swimmer releases him, and Haru’s feet hit the bottom of the tub. Rin’s weight routine must really be something since he lifted Haru without straining to do it. He steadies himself as Rin lets go of his arm and unleashes a stream of irritated questions. “What the hell, Haru? Why didn’t you answer the door? Or your phone? I thought you were done with angsting in the bath.”

“I was not _angsting_ ,” Haru argues automatically.

But Rin is here. _Rin_ is _here_. In his bathroom, lecturing him over not answering the door, as if they had plans to meet. Haru knows there’s no way they did; he never would’ve forgotten that. He stares at Rin so hard that his vision shakes, but he can’t help it; he’s half expecting Rin to disappear and this to have been a hallucination brought on by the hot bath.

Rin doesn’t disappear.

It feels as though it’s been an eternity since he’d seen Rin, even though it’s only been a week since…Haru’s face falls. Since the relay where he encountered Yamazaki again. He wipes the emotions off his face and steps out of the tub, grabbing his towel to dry off.

Rin doesn’t notice Haru’s rollercoaster change of emotions, or at least he doesn’t mention it. “Lying underwater in a bath blowing bubbles with a serious expression on your face isn’t angsting? Could’ve fooled me,” he says, matter of factly, following Haru back to his room.

Haru grabs a shirt, self-conscious about his exposed chest. He’s not unnaturally skinny; he’s built muscle since the year prior, but it’s not his self-esteem that causes his discomfort. Haru ignores the goosebumps that appear on his skin where Rin’s eyes fall and tugs on his shirt, covering them before Rin can notice.

Out of lack of knowing how to act, Haru heads into the kitchen, overly aware that Rin is following right behind him, practically breathing down his back. He’s a little hungry anyway. “Why are you here, Rin?” he asks, words coming out harsher than intended.

To his surprise, Rin cuffs the back of his head. Haru freezes. Rin…hit him? Not hard. No, knowing how strong Rin is, he could’ve hit much harder than that. It’s the action that shocked him. That’s an action he sees Rin employ around Nagisa and Nitori and that new backstroker. Rin’s never cuffed him before.

“You’re worrying Makoto,” Rin tells him, face serious.

That throws Haru even further for a loop. “What?”

“Well, to be more direct: you’re being an ass to Makoto. He sent me over.”

That doesn’t sound like Makoto; it sounds like Rin. “No he didn’t,” Haru dismisses, continuing towards the kitchen.

“No,” Rin admits. “Not in so many words. He _does_ want me to talk to you though.”

“No he didn’t,” Haru repeats.

“Oh yeah? Then why’d he call me out to the old swim club last night to tell me you don’t want to swim professionally?”

Haru stops just shy of getting to his fridge. He’d been meaning to tell Rin, but he’d been expecting a fight – he still is, honestly – so he’d been putting it off. The only person he _had_ told was Makoto. So if Rin already knew… “Why did he tell you that?”

Rin shrugs and pulls himself onto the counter right where Haru had planned to cut his mackerel. “He said you looked upset about it,” Rin answers. “You probably already know, but he’s going through his own existential crisis right now. So if you’re gonna throw a fit about the future, you should just come straight to me and not burden him with it.”

Haru crosses his arms and glares at Rin. “It’s not your business.”

“It becomes my business when your boyfriend comes to me asking for my help because you won’t talk to him,” Rin shoots right back.

Haru colors, irritated. “He’s not my boyfriend.”

“That’s not the point.” Rin slides off the counter and walks towards Haru. Automatically, Haru backs away. His back hits the wall, and Haru finds himself in the uncomfortably familiar situation of being loomed over, even though Rin’s hardly taller than him.

“I really wish you Samezuka guys would stop backing me against things to prove a point,” he mutters. Haru only registers that he’d said it loud enough to hear when Rin frowns and backs away.

“’You Samezuka guys’?” Rin quotes. Haru’s mouth slams shut, and he looks away, irritated. “Haru what’s going on?”

Haru pushes past Rin, intent on preparing his meal in peace. Rin doesn’t try to hold him there. “Nothing,” he dismisses.

Rin ignores it. “Haru…” His voice is etched with hurt. “Talk to me.”

He grabs the cutting board and bangs it on the counter, almost feeling the other flinch behind him. “It’s none of your business.” _Or Makoto’s_ , he adds mentally but chooses not to say that. If Rin thinks he’ll talk to Makoto, maybe he’ll leave Haru alone. He grabs today’s mackerel and slams it on the cutting board, pulling out his knife and cutting off its head in one brutal swoop.

“Haru,” Rin snaps angrily. Haru nudges his shoulder out of the way right when Rin reaches out to grab it. Rin doesn’t try again and instead yells, “What the hell is wrong with you? We were getting alone fine last week at the relay!”

The mention of the relay is enough to make Haru snap. He doesn’t want to think about Yamazaki right now. He doesn’t want to think about _swimming_ right now, because it’s too confusing. Why can’t Rin see that? “Get out,” he demands coolly.

 “No! Talk to me Haru, what the fuck?”

He spins around to face Rin. “Get out!” he shouts.

Rin backs away, holding his hands in defense. Haru belatedly notices that he’s been brandishing a large knife around threateningly. He lowers it immediately. He doesn’t want Rin to think he’s actually going to attack him.

“Look, Haru,” Rin says more calmly. His hands are still held in front of himself as if he expects Haru to attack him. “If you’re mad at me for something that’s fine. But please, don’t take it out on Makoto. He worships you.”

“Please leave,” Haru begs.

Rin opens his mouth to say something, but Haru can’t handle any more of this. He turns back to the counter and continues chopping his mackerel. Haru doesn’t let himself turn around when he hears Rin’s footsteps disappear down the hallway, and he barely even flinches when the door slams with Rin on the other side of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shipping survey removed.
> 
> Find me on [Tumblr](https://rinthegreat.tumblr.com/) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/rinthegreat_ao3) to see what I'm working on and how to support me. Feel free to shoot me an ask regarding details of these edits as well!


	3. Blossom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rei seeks help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. The more you comment, kudo, bookmark, and answer the survey the faster I write apparently. Quite a few people have already answered the survey (preliminary results are below) and some of your answers are interesting to say the least. Not a lot of MakoRin shippers out there, but there *are* a lot of you who want to see them get it on (though the same people don't want Rin and Haru to do anything, so that leaves me wondering what polyshipping action people are interested in.)
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter! There are NO SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 4. Most of this was written before it was released, so no worries. There are spoilers for episode 3 though. Just fyi. (Also I know my chapter titles are lame. They are subject to change.)

           

* * *

 

            Haruka-senpai isn’t speaking to Makoto-senpai, Rei notices at practice the next day.  It’s a subtle thing.  Nagisa probably doesn’t notice it, but Rei prides himself on his ability to read people.  It makes the already uncomfortable practice (the inability to swim any stroke aside from butterfly is infinitely irritating) even more so.  At least for him.  Again, Nagisa hardly notices anything.  He’s amazed the blond can even function on Earth when his head is so far up in the clouds.

            Rei can spout nonsense about only swimming butterfly all he wants, but the fact is that most swim practices consist of him using a kickboard while his teammates swim laps around him.  He usually doesn’t end up actually swimming much more than a few hundred yards, and every single one of those is exhausting (butterfly is the most beautiful stroke, but it is also the most tiring).  Today is no different.

            Practice had drug on for what felt like longer than normal, punctuated with Makoto-senpai’s timid looks at Haruka-senpai (which the freestyler blatantly ignored) when he thought no one was looking.  Finally, it ends.  Makoto-senpai approaches Rei as he exits the pool.  “Do you want to try practicing the other strokes?”

            Rei colors slightly at the question, remembering the conversation at the beginning of practice (“I shall present a beautiful backstroke, breaststroke, and freestyle stroke to all of you!”  Why had he thought that was an intelligent declaration?) but chooses to remain optimistic, especially given the gloomier atmosphere.  “Of course!”  He exclaims.  “I have thoroughly studied the intricate details of each stroke after all!”

            He dives into the water flawlessly (his start, at least, has improved), fully aware of Nagisa and the others watching on the sidelines.  But the moment he attempts any stroke other than butterfly, he sinks like a stone.  Rei’s confidence is fading fast, but he hears Nagisa cheering him on, so he can’t give up now.  He gives each stroke at least two attempts before he gives up.

            Encouraging remarks are still being called out to him, but Rei can’t handle the disappointment in himself.  It’s been almost a year, and still he’s made no progress.  There’s a splash, but he doesn’t look up.  He doesn’t want to hear any of Makoto-senpai’s supportive comments right now.

            “Rei.”  He looks over in surprise to see it’s _Haruka-senpai_ instead.  “You don’t need to force yourself to swim something different.  As long as you have one swimming style of your own that’s enough, isn’t it?”

            His words stay with Rei as he climbs out of the pool.  They are the focus of his attention even as Nagisa talks his ear off on their way to the train station together.  And they are the reason he’s standing here in the library the next morning, staring at the books, but not really seeing them.  One stroke should be enough; it’s enough for Haruka-senpai.  But that’s easy for him to say when his stroke is freestyle.  Only being able to swim butterfly makes things…difficult.  He grabs the nearest book on swimming technique and flips through it distractedly.

            He’s genuinely surprised when Sera-senpai approaches him and starts talking about how good his running looked at the relay.  It almost makes him ashamed; his running shouldn’t be improving now that he’s a swimmer.  His _swimming_ should be improving.  At the very least, his butterfly should be improving.  He should at least have a stroke as beautiful as Rin, even though it wouldn’t be as fast.

            Rei freezes.  He isn’t sure what he says to Sera-senpai, or even how they part, because his mind is spinning.  _Rin_.  They hadn’t had the best encounters in the past, but he’s Haruka-senpai’s friend.  And what’s more, he isn’t as mindlessly gifted at swimming as Haruka-senpai.  Rin might know how to help someone like him.  He flips open his phone, glad he and Rin had exchanged contact information after he’d given the other his spot on their relay last year.  He’d never called him before now, but Rin wouldn’t give him his information if he wasn’t allowed to call.

            The phone rings a few times before the other butterflier answers with a confused “hello?”

            “Rin-san,” he starts.  “I have a favor to ask you.  You will be compensated; I promise.”

\---

            They meet every night that week.  Rei feels bad for abandoning Nagisa and the others after practice, but he consoles himself by imagining their surprised faces when they see him swimming a stroke _other than butterfly_.

            After he had called Rin and said he wanted to talk, the other swimmer (now captain, odd though the thought was) invited him over that night.  Rin had sat there silently listening to Rei’s reasoning and bargaining, and he had agreed without listing any stipulations aside from their extra practice needing to take place after Samezuka finished with their assigned one.  Rei agreed immediately, surprised with how accommodating the other was, and they started the following day.

            Rei had been immediately pleased with his choice of coach.  Rin explained everything clearly then demonstrated the actions before expecting Rei to perform them.  By the end of their first practice, Rei was able to float without aid on his front and back.  After their second practice, he made progress in backstroke (the easiest for floating, Rin had explained).  Then after their third he was able to swim a bit of freestyle.  They are on their fourth, and Rei is actually swimming a passible breaststroke while the other watches him closely.

            He brought Rin cookies again today as a thank you (shaped like a butterfly and filled with nutrients the other was lacking), and the two had met in front of the pool just as Samezuka practice ended.  Rin had seemed happy to see him, but his friend Sousuke did not.  He’d parted with Rin and glared at Rei before he left.  Rei had made a mental note to ask Rin about that later.  Tactfully, of course.

            The thought pops into his head as he’s swimming breaststroke.  He loses track of what he’s doing, and sinks to the bottom of the pool slowly.  He pops up, spluttering and spitting out the water he had accidentally breathed in to see a smirking Rin.  He’s about to ask what could possibly be so funny, but the other answers the question before he voices it.

            “That’s what happens when you daydream while you’re swimming,” Rin remarks.  “Granted, as you get better you won’t have to concentrate so hard on your actions, but for now it’s probably best not to let your mind wander.”

            Rei colors.  He didn’t realize he’d been so obviously thinking about something other than swimming.  Although, the sinking to the bottom of the pool thing was a dead giveaway.  “My apologies, I…”  But he fails to come up with an adequate excuse.

            “It’s fine,” Rin assures.  “It happens to the best of us.”  He ducks under the lane-line and joins Rei in the lane.  “If you’re getting tired we can take a break or call it quits for the night.”

            “No I can keep going!”  He exclaims, then starts swimming toward the opposite wall before Rin can stop him.

            They continue practicing for a little longer, before Rei gets tired and Rin mentions he needs to get some homework done.  As they climb out of the pool and walk together to the locker room to shower, Rin turns to Rei.  “How is practice going at Iwatobi?”  He asks casually.

            Rei shrugs.  “Same as usual I suppose.  It will be nice when I can participate in the sets doing something aside from kicking.  Your sister sets up a rigorous schedule, even for me.”

            Rin chuckles.  “Good.  Glad to hear everything’s going smoothly.”

            “I don’t know if I would go that far.”  Rei remarks.  Rin is friends with Haruka-senpai, and possibly Makoto-senpai as well.  Perhaps he’ll know what’s going on.

            “What do you mean?”  Rin asks as he starts up his shower and steps in.  Rei uses the adjacent stall so he can continue the conversation.

            “Makoto-senpai and Haru-senpai aren’t talking.”

            “What?  They actually aren’t talking?”

            Rei frowns.  He’s not entirely sure about their interactions throughout the day, and it isn’t like they can talk much in the water.  He tries to explain the vibe he was getting from them.  “Well, it isn’t that they aren’t talking so much as there’s a sort of…tension between the two of them.  I was wondering if you knew anything about it.”

            There’s a pregnant pause, and Rei thinks _aha, he does know something_.  “Don’t worry about it,” Rin finally says.  “Haru and Makoto have known each other forever.  Sometimes they don’t need to talk to communicate.”

            They finish showering and dressing mostly in silence, only broken by Rin asking a few more questions (“How’s the little blond spazz doing?”) and Rei answering them (“Nagisa-kun is doing as well as can be expected from someone who subsists on cream filled bread for all his meals.”).  Rei says a quick goodbye and tries to duck out but is stopped by Rin’s next words.

            “Tomorrow will be our last practice,” the swimmer says.  He’s only half dressed and is toweling off his hair.

            Rei blinks in surprise.  “What?  Why?”  Has he not been performing satisfactorily enough for the other?

            Rin smiles at him.  “Don’t look so worried.  I think you’ve improved enough.  There’s nothing more I can teach you without taking you in as one of my swimmers.”

            The compliment is such that Rei blushes.  “Thank you,” he mumbles as he tries to escape.  Rin doesn’t stop him, already grabbing his phone and waving goodbye to Rei.  He decides as he leaves that the cookies he’ll make for Rin tomorrow will be the most beautiful yet.

* * *

 

            Makoto is in the middle of studying when his phone buzzes at his side.  He pauses in the math problem he was solving to look down at it in surprise.  He doesn’t communicate with a lot of people outside of school, so he isn’t used to being texted often.  Haru never checks his phone, and has been acting cold to him recently, so it can’t be him.  Nagisa had stopped calling him for homework help ever since he and Rei became friends, and Rei never called him.  Deciding that the mystery would be solved by simply looking at his phone, he picks it up and opens the text in question.

            It’s from Rin.  But that’s not the puzzling part; it’s what he says.  _Wanna study buddy?  I need to talk to you.  Come to Samezuka if you can._   It’s like three conversation starters thrown into one. 

Makoto glances at the clock on the wall, and decides he can afford to go over for at least a few hours.  He grabs the study booklet he’s working on and shoves it in his backpack before slipping down the stairs.  His parents are mercifully home tonight, so he doesn’t feel bad about leaving Ren and Ran.  He tells them he’s headed to a friend’s to study and shoots Rin a text telling him that he’s on his way.

It doesn’t take him much time to get to Samezuka, and when he does, Rin is waiting for him at the gate.  “Hey,” he says in greeting, falling in step beside Makoto and leading him to wherever they’re going.

“Rin.  Is everything ok?  It seems strange for you to invite me over…”

Rin doesn’t answer at first.  He leads Makoto on the familiar path to the pool.  Makoto frowns.  “I thought we were studying.”

“We are.  I study better in here,” Rin says, holding open the door for him.  Makoto slips inside, waiting for the other to answer his first question.  “I’m sorry.”

“What?”  Makoto blinks.  The apology throws him off guard; he doesn’t know what Rin has to apologize for.

Rin turns on the lights before answering, and Makoto sees his backpack and homework sitting on the bleachers.  Huh.  So he really does study down here.  “I talked to Haru.  Like you asked.”

“Yeah…”  Makoto prompts when the other doesn’t continue.  He slides onto the bleachers, sitting next to the area taken over by Rin’s things.

“I brought you up.  I didn’t realize it would make him stop talking to you.”

Well that explained why Haru had been acting cold to him.  “It’s ok,” he says automatically.  He’s the one who asked Rin to talk to Haru in the first place, so if it’s anyone’s fault it’s his own.  But Makoto _is_ curious about what he said.  “What did you say to him?”

“I told him he was being a dick to you.”

Makoto winces.  “You told him he was being…rude to me?”  He doesn’t believe in swearing (it’s so rude), so he can’t quite repeat Rin’s words back to him.

Rin sits next to him and gives him a sidelong look.  “Yeah.  Again: sorry.”  He leans back and stares at the pool.  “He didn’t believe me so I told him you called me out to the club and said he wasn’t interested in swimming professionally.  I also told him to come to me with his problems instead of you, but he just got mad.”

Makoto had a hard time believing Haru got legitimately mad.  Even he’s never seen the other genuinely angry about anything.  “What else did you tell him?”  From the sounds of it, Rin told Haru almost everything about their first interaction.

“Don’t worry,” Rin remarks, as if reading Makoto’s mind.  “I didn’t tell him about how you feel about him or the lunch or anything.”

“Oh.  Ok.  Well thank you for talking to him.”

Rin leans forward and looks at Makoto in what appears to be surprise.  “You’re thanking me?”

“Yes…?”

“I just ruined your friendship and potential relationship with Haru!  Why would you thank me for that?”  Rin exclaims, looking confused.

Makoto smiles wistfully.  “I’m sure Haru will eventually forgive me for this; you haven’t ruined our friendship.  As for the relationship…it was never going to happen in the first place.”

Rin frowns.  “You said that before.  Did Haru just volunteer information that he doesn’t have feelings for you or what?”

Makoto shakes his head.  “No.  He told me he…likes someone else.”

“Oh.  I’m sorry to hear that.”  Rin’s tone has a kind of finality to it that indicates the conversation is over.  Makoto is relieved; he isn’t sure what he’d say if Rin asked him any more questions about that.

            He opens his backpack and pulls out his booklet at the same time Rin picks up his own notebook.  They work side by side on the bleachers for a bit before Rin moves to spread out more.  Makoto starts to lose track of the time until his phone goes off loudly.  “Sorry.”  He looks at it.  “That’s my parents.  I have to leave or I’ll miss curfew.”

            “Shit.”  Rin checks his own phone.  “I completely lost track of the time.”  They both gather their things before heading towards the door.  “You’re a pretty good study buddy,” Rin remarks.  “I got all my shit done for the next few days.  Ai would always talk and distract me, and Sousuke is…well Sousuke.”

            Makoto isn’t sure what that means, but doesn’t ask.  “Yeah, Haru and I usually study together.  It’s the only way I can get him to do homework.”  He waits as Rin shuts off the lights, then they walk out together, pausing again so the other can lock the door.

            “I’ll walk you to the bus stop if you want.”

            Makoto shakes his head.  “No, it’s alright.  I can find my way there.”  He knows he has to be home soon, but he stops when they reach the gate.  “Thanks,” he says again.  “For talking to Haru and taking my mind off things tonight.”  After they’d started studying, he hadn’t thought about Haru or his future or anything stressful.

            Rin’s smile is barely visible in the streetlight, but Makoto catches a glimpse of it.  “Anytime.  Actually, if you want to get together and study or just hang out tomorrow night, you can crash in my room.  Sousuke is heading out for the weekend so you can take his bed.”

            “Spend the night?”  He’d done it with Haru, and it wasn’t like Rin had offered his bed, but it still felt strange to spend the night with him.

            Rin shrugs.  “If you want.  We can study or watch a movie or something.  You still seem kinda stressed, so I figured I’d offer.”

            Oh what the heck; Rin was just being nice.  “Sure.  I’ll come by after practice if that’s alright?”

            Rin shakes his head.  “We have a longer practice than you guys, so just come in the evening.  I won’t have eaten yet either, so if you want to wait and grab dinner we can do that too.”

            “Ok.”  It’s actually starting to sound like fun.  “I’ll text you when I’m on my way, and we can figure out things from there.”

            “Yeah.  See you tomorrow then.”  Rin raises his hand as if to shake Makoto’s then lowers it.  Makoto can see the other isn’t sure where they stand as friends either, so he lifts his hand in a wave.

            “Goodnight, Rin.”

            “Night, Makoto.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Interim results:
> 
> No decisions on final pairings yet
> 
> Story will end with classic shipping, but I will try to include at least one polyship scene (aka a three way)
> 
> Nitori will be purely a teammate and former roommate, not a love interest 
> 
> No SousHaru or SousMako (quite a few readers are extremely against it)
> 
> No OCs (closest would be a potential cameo from a famous swimmer)
> 
> ReiGisa/NagiRei will have at least one appearance 
> 
> Gou with one of the Mikoshiba boys in the background if it makes sense to add. 
> 
> Thanks for your feedback so far! The poll will remain open for at least one more chapter


	4. Every Time We Touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto and Rin hang out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuses for this chapter.

           

* * *

           Makoto gets dragged down to Samezuka by Nagisa, Haru, and Gou before Rin can even text him.  Rei’s been acting strange (well, strange for Rei), and they’re all curious.  Nagisa most of all.  He might seem like his normal bubbly self, but Makoto sees through that.  They all do, actually, but it’s an unspoken agreement between the three of them not to say anything about it.

            His surprise when he finds out _Rei’s_ been having secret meetings with Rin also is trumped only by Nagisa’s overly loud relief that Rei was learning to swim and not meeting with a secret lover.  He glances over at Haru to see his friend’s response and is met with the sight of Haru staring in at Rin with actual emotion in his eyes.  Makoto has to tear his own eyes away before the jealousy in his gut can rear its ugly head.

            They hover around for a little bit before Gou points out that they need to leave or else Rei will run into them on the train and figure out that they know.  Makoto is suddenly torn between two options: leave with everyone and arrive at Samezuka a half an hour later than Rin expects him (and have to buy two train tickets), or stay and risk Haru finding out about his meeting with Rin.  Or whatever it is they’re doing.

            He frets over it in the train station as they wait when the decision is made for him.  Nagisa left to get ice cream and isn’t back when their train arrives.  As the most mature of the present group, Makoto runs out to find Nagisa, only to have the blond dart past him and make it on the train just as the doors close, leaving Makoto stranded on the other side.  Gou looks upset, and Nagisa looks a little guilty, so he shrugs and motions that he’ll catch the next train.  Haru makes eye contact for a moment before the freestyler turns his head away in a motion Makoto understands to mean _I don’t really care what you do; I’m still irritated with you_.  Haru’s still giving him his not quite a silent treatment, after all.

            Makoto watches the train depart before readjusting his backpack over his shoulders and exiting the train station.  He takes out his phone to see a new unread text from Rin: _All done.  Come over whenever._   He shoots back a response of _at the train station.  Meet me at the gate??_ then tucks his phone away and continues on his way to Samezuka.

            Rin must’ve received the text, because he’s standing at the gate waiting for Makoto when he gets there.  He’s wearing jeans and a tank top that Gou would be proud of, and Makoto is once again struck with how _strange_ he looks.  It’s not a bad strange, not by a long shot.  But he’s still so used to seeing Rin in his Samezuka gear or a swim suit.

            “You got here fast,” Rin remarks, standing fully up and leading Makoto in and back to his dorm.

            Makoto smiles and scratches the back of his head, wishing he’d thought of an excuse on the way over.  “I was already on my way actually.”

            “Oh?”  Rin doesn’t sound upset.  On the contrary, he seems amused.  “Thought you’d pop in early, did you?  And what if I was busy?”  He asks, holding the door to the dorm area open for Makoto.

            He walks through but waits for Rin to lead.  These halls are like a maze, and Rin has since changed rooms from the one time he and Haru visited last year.  “I would’ve waited.”

            “I was teasing, Makoto.  You don’t have to be so serious.”  Rin leads him through the confusing halls and stops in front of a room that Makoto wouldn’t be able to pick out of a line up.  He unlocks the door and walks in, turning on the light.  “This is where the magic happens.”

            It’s easy to see that Rin lives here.  The room is cleaner than Makoto’s, and the floor by the window is host to a bunch of dumbbell weights which have clearly seen a lot of use.  The walls are covered with posters of people Makoto assumes are famous Australian swimmers, and both desks are stacked neatly with papers and books.

            “You live with Sousuke right?”  He asks, closing the door behind him and setting his backpack on the ground.  He slips off his shoes too, because this doesn’t seem like a place to wear them, and Rin had already removed his.

            The swimmer in question throws himself onto the bottom bunk and leans back against the pillow.  “Yup.  It’s kind of nice in a way, since we go for runs and do extra training sessions together anyway.  Plus he’s not a slob like Ai, so there’s that.”

            “It sounds like you have a good thing going.”  Makoto pulls out the chair from the desk and sits there, looking at Rin.  He’s not really sure what they’re doing tonight since Rin doesn’t seem to have a tv and it’s starting to get late anyway.

            Rin sits up and points at the desk as if reading his mind.  “Grab my laptop and come join me over here.  We can watch a movie.”

            Makoto does as he’s asked, but he just stares at the bed, confused how they can both fit there until Rin flips around so he’s leaning against the wall instead and pats the spot next to him.  Makoto sits, and Rin grabs the pillow.  “You won’t want to lean against the wall for two hours, trust me,” he says, and puts it behind them.

            They have to sit with their sides pressed against each other to fit on the pillow, and somehow it feels more intimate than when he sits the same with Haru.  Makoto is hyper aware of every point of contact between him and Rin, and by the time the movie ends, he’s not sure he could even say what it was about.  Rin scoots away and clears his throat, clearly as uncomfortable as Makoto.  There’s a pause before he speaks.  “Ever gone for a midnight swim before?”

            Makoto checks the clock.  It’s barely eleven pm.  “It’s not midnight.”

            Rin shrugs.  “Close enough.  Wanna give it a try?”

            “I didn’t bring my suit, Rin,” Makoto argues weakly.  Actually a midnight swim sounds good.  He needs to get out of this room before being too close to Rin makes him go crazy.

            “You can borrow one of Sousuke’s.  He has a couple he doesn’t use anymore because they don’t feel right or something.”

            “Oh, no, that would be rude of me…”

            But Rin’s already up going through the closet.  He grabs a suit and tosses it at Makoto.  “He won’t care.  He doesn’t even use these ones, remember?”  It’s a fair point and Rin looks so excited that Makoto doesn’t argue.

            It’s the first time he’s been in the pool when it’s closed without sneaking in.  Since Rin’s captain now, they’re not going to get in trouble for swimming this late, and Makoto has to admit it’s nice to not be breaking any rules.  Rin immediately bounds into the pool with almost Haru-like stripping speed, and Makoto finds himself smiling at the sight.  Swimming this late was a good idea.  Strangely.

            Rin pops back up on the other side and waves over to him.  “Come on!  I didn’t bring you out here so you could watch!”  His voice echoes in the empty area followed by a splash as Rin dives back under the water and swims toward him.

            He’s down to the borrowed suit and standing at the edge of the pool when Rin reaches it.  Makoto crouches down and dips his finger in.  “It’s too cold to get in,” he jokes, smiling softly at Rin.

            “Oh shut up.”  He should’ve seen it coming.  Rin grabs his wrist and pulls, and in a moment Makoto has front flipped directly into the pool.  He comes up for air, spitting out the air he swallowed and hears Rin laughing.  “Oh man, you should’ve seen your face!”  He looks so happy and carefree like that, laughing with the moonlight hitting him just right and water dripping down his hair, so Makoto splashes him.

            This sparks an epic splash war, which devolves into a dunk war, and eventually ends with Rin challenging Makoto to a race.  “We can even do backstroke!  It’ll be fun.  Come on.”

            It’s unfair how Rin can say ‘come on’ and give him this look and he caves.  It’s the same as when Nagisa ‘asks for something’.  “But we both know you’re gonna win…”

            Rin splashes him again.  “I will if you think that way.  Come on, 100 meter backstroke.  Four lengths.  Three turns.  My back start isn’t even that good.”  He swims toward the blocks.

            Makoto follows with a sigh.  “Is this how you get Haru to race you?  You give him puppy eyes and beg?”

            “Nope.”  Rin remarks cheerfully, holding onto the bar.  “I just look at him and he wants to race.”

            “That makes sense I suppose.”  Makoto grabs his own bar in his lane.  “How are we starting this?”

            Rin motions towards the wall with his chin.  “See that clock?  When the seconds hand hits the top, we start.”

            Makoto nods.  It’s currently on the bottom, giving them thirty seconds.  He pulls the goggles Rin leant him over his eyes, and Rin does the same.  He really had come prepared to race.  Ten seconds to go he prepares himself.  Three.  Two.  One.

            It’s exhilarating.  Rin may specialize in butterfly and freestyle but he has a strong backstroke too, and Makoto finds himself taking the race seriously just to keep up with him.  But Rin’s backstroke turns aren’t as confident as Makoto’s, and he ends up taking the lead as they hit the third turn.  Maybe it’s Rin’s excitement to race or maybe it’s because Makoto doesn’t like losing in his stroke, but for some reason he really wants to win this race that no one’s timing.

            They touch and come up for air at nearly the same time.  The downside of racing backstroke is that neither of them have any idea who won.  Rin jokes that it was clearly him, and Makoto actually plays along, insisting that there’s no way he lost to a _butterflier_.  Rin pretends to be offended as they climb out of the pool and head to the locker rooms to dry off.

            “Admit it, Makoto, I kicked your ass fair and square.”  Rin grabs two towels and tosses one to him, before starting to dry off his own hair.

            Makoto does the same as he responds.  “I hardly think your backstroke is skilled enough to challenge me yet, Rin.”

            Rin just laughs again.  “I can’t believe I actually got you to race.  And then to argue with me about who won.  No one will ever believe me!”

            Makoto doesn’t respond.  It’s so unfair; Rin standing there bathed in moonlight _again_ , with a towel draped over his head, laughing like the previous year had never happened.  He suddenly understands why Haru is so in love with him, and before he knows it he’s moving.

            There’s something clearly wrong with him, Makoto decides moments later.  Because one moment he and Rin are standing there joking around like old friends, and the next he has Rin shoved back against the lockers and is kissing him like he needs it to breathe.  And Rin isn’t pushing him away.  He’s kissing him back.  Makoto’s mind short-circuits somewhere between the thoughts _no stop he’s not Haru_ and _wow this feels so good_ , and he’s no longer responsible for his actions.

            Somehow his tongue ends up in Rin’s mouth, and he’s not sure how it got there but he’s not complaining and neither is Rin.  A stray thought remarks that it’s a good thing he’s a swimmer, because if he breaks away to breathe he might realize how bad of an idea this is, and there’s no way he wants to stop because it feels _good_.  Rin’s hand is stroking down along his spine, and Makoto shivers and presses closer against him.

            He comes back to himself when he hears what sounds distinctly like a whimper and he realizes his knee has somehow wedged itself between Rin’s legs and he’s been thrusting into the butterflier without even knowing it.  Makoto jumps back as if burned and stares wide-eyed at the ground rather than look at his most likely former friend.  It takes a moment for his voice to come back, and when it does an apology is already on his lips.

            _Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry.  I don’t know what came over me.  I didn’t mean to do that, please forgive me._   That’s what he meant to say.  Instead, what comes out is: “I’m in love with Haru!”  The sentence shocks him so much that he meets Rin’s eyes, and they both just stare at each other.  He can’t believe he just yelled that at Rin.  Did his brain break somewhere in the past hour?  It’s like he’s under a spell and can’t control himself around Rin.

            Finally, the apology comes out.  “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry.  I…I didn’t…I am so sorry.”  But it sputters out somewhere in the middle, leaving him feeling worse than before if that were even possible.

            “It’s…fine,” Rin says.  But he’s frowning, so it’s clearly not fine, and Makoto feels responsible because he _is_ , and they were having such a nice time up until he had to go and ruin it with his stupid _hormones_ and –

            “Stop thinking so much.”

            Makoto’s jerked from his thoughts by a poke to a head.  He blinks in confusion, realizing he’d been blanking out, and stares at Rin.  “Wha?”  He asks coherently.  Something is very, _very_ wrong with him.

            “I said stop thinking so much.  Come on.  You’re finished drying off, right?  Let’s go back.”  Did Rin just say ‘let’s’?

            “We’re going back to your room?”

            Rin slaps his hand across Makoto’s chest lightly.  He’s smiling, and for some reason that seems weird.  “You didn’t think I was gonna sleep in the locker room, did you?”  The joking tone is back, and it’s as if nothing happened moments before.

            “You’re not kicking me out?”

            Rin frowns.  “Why would I kick you out?  I promised you a place to stay the night, didn’t I?  What kind of shitty friend would make you leave in the middle of the night when your hair’s still damp?”

            “But I –“

            “It’s not a big deal.  I lived in Australia for a few years, remember?  It’s not like I’m gonna hate you because you kissed me or anything,” Rin waves his hand dismissively and leads them back to his room, locking up behind them.

            Makoto isn’t an expert in foreign cultures, but he’s sure no country would consider a kiss like _that_ to be innocent.  Still, Rin doesn’t seem mad, so he figures he should count his blessings and drops the subject.  They walk back in silence and change into sleeping clothes once they get back to Rin’s room.  Makoto politely turns his back.  Partly to respect Rin’s privacy, and partly because he doesn’t trust himself anymore.

            “Thank you for having me over.  It was fun.”

            “Yeah.”  There’s a clanking noise, so Makoto turns around and sees Rin climbing up to the top bunk.  “I’m going for a run in the morning if you want to join.  You don’t have to leave immediately if you don’t want.  I feel kinda responsible for you and Haru fighting.”

            “I don’t want to intrude…”

            “It’s not an intrusion if I invite you, Makoto.”

            Fair point.  He walks over to the bed.  “Is it ok if I sleep on Sousuke’s bed?”

            “Huh?  Oh no, the bottom bunk is mine.  I figured you wouldn’t want to intrude on Sousuke’s space, so I’m taking his.”

            “Oh!  Sorry!  I don’t want to kick you out of your bed or anything…”

            “Makoto I swear I will throw this pillow at you if you don’t turn off the light and get into bed.”

            The threat works, and Makoto does as he’s asked.  He lies down on his back and stares at the bottom of the bed the other is currently occupying.  The sheets around him smell like Rin, and it reminds him of earlier.  He blushes bright red at the memory and wonders how the other can be so casually forgiving.  Maybe Rin saw how embarrassed he was and decided to have pity on him.

            “I can practically _hear_ you thinking about it.”

            Makoto nearly jumps out of his skin when he hears Rin’s voice.  “I thought you were asleep!”  He squeaks.  Besides, he hadn’t been making any weird noises.  Had he?

            “Idiot.”  There’s a creak, and it takes him a moment to realize Rin is climbing down from the top bunk.  Makoto looks over and there he is, again, with the moonlight behind him.  How does he even do that?  It’s the third time tonight and he can’t help but stare, mesmerized.  “Just don’t think about Haru this time.”

            Suddenly Rin is on top of him, and Makoto has no time to be confused because he’s being kissed again.  It’s more aggressive than the one earlier, and ah that must be because Rin’s leading this time.  He’s often dreamed about doing this with Haru, though even in his fantasies it was never more intense than a little tongue action.  With Rin thrusting down on him the way he is, it’s so much more.

            As if reading his mind, Rin bit down on his lip.  It’s amazing really; his teeth are nowhere near as sharp as Makoto thought they’d be.  He doesn’t even break skin.  Rin backs away, slipping his hips further down so Makoto was seeing stars.  “I said _don’t_ think about Haru.  I won’t be second best to him in my own bed.”

            It’s a fair point, and Makoto would say so if his mouth wasn’t immediately occupied by something else.  Between Rin’s insistent tongue and rocking hips, Makoto is instantly breathless.  He breaks away to breathe, and Rin is apparently disappointed in his inability to reciprocate the kisses because he attacks Makoto’s neck instead.  Not that he’s complaining.  It feels amazing.  Everything about this feels amazing.  He’s stopped thinking all together and finally just given into it.  It hardly takes any time for him to finish in a haze of red.  He supposes Rin finished too, because when he becomes conscious again, the butterflier is lying still on top of him, his breathing already slowing down.

            “It doesn’t mean anything,” Rin says into his chest.  Makoto just nods.  “I needed some relief from all the stress I’m under right now.  And you’re clearly repressing yourself.  That’s all.”  He nods again.

            Rin nudges him over and they readjust until they’re both somewhat comfortable.  It results in them basically cuddling together on Rin’s bed and in the post-coital haze, Makoto can’t bring himself to be too upset.  “Get some sleep now, alright?  I still wanna run in the morning.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> survey still open! https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/DDNZVTH


	5. One More Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sousuke makes an actual appearance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, you guys had to actually wait a full week for an update. That must've been torture, huh?  
> Anyway, I maxed out the number of responses I could get on that survey, so anyone who responded last Tuesday after 3:45 pm Pacific Time, your responses were not recorded. I made a second survey, and details about that are below.  
> The second survey also has a box for you to put in requests/prompts for future fics from me. I am throwing them into a hat and drawing out a random prompt one at a time. I'm thinking that filling one every two weeks sounds reasonable. We'll see. The first winner will see theirs out in the next couple days, so keep your eyes out for that one.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I WILL NOT WRITE M PREG OR GENDERBENDS. Genderbends are much better in the visual form (fan art, cosplay) than in the written form (fanfiction, role play) because it's harder to get the feeling across and is rarely done well. I don't do m preg because one of the major issues facing male same sex couples is their inability to bear their own child without a surrogate mother. I apologize for not putting this up sooner, but if you gave me an omega prompt/rule 63 prompt they will not be filled. 
> 
> Enjoy the new chapter! (I hope I did ok with Sousuke. They haven't focused on him enough for me to get a good read on his character. Also, AO3 messed up my formatting again, goddammit.)

          

* * *

 

            Sousuke’s never been really good with people.  His parents had worried about him when he was younger; he didn’t make any friends at school, and he’d just come right home and lock himself in his room to read afterwards.  They’d tried setting up playdates when he was still young enough to do so, but they never went anywhere.  As a last resort, they decided to get him into sports.  His dad tried to push team sports, like basketball and European football, but Sousuke refused to go to practice.  When he was finally forced to choose, he picked swimming because it seemed like a good skill to have, and it was an individual sport at least.

            But then Rin happened.

            Rin wasn’t the best on the club team at that level.  Not by a long shot.  But he had a lot of heart, and he worked harder than everyone else. 

            He’s the one who took Sousuke under his wing when he first joined.  Sousuke hadn’t wanted to be mentored or coddled by any means, but Rin claimed he _saw something in him_ and wouldn’t let Sousuke go.  It wasn’t that he was particularly good; he never swam in the fast lanes.  But he wasn’t that slow either.  Swimming came naturally to him, and being under water gave him time to think about things.  The coaches never complained, and he never got in the way of the other swimmers.

            And yet, Rin wouldn’t let go of this idea that he could be a great swimmer.  “World class, like me!”  He’d say almost every practice, until finally it got on Sousuke’s nerves.

            “Cut it out, will you?”  He scolded quietly after practice once.  He was getting dressed to walk home, and Rin had hung behind as always so it was just the two of them.  “I don’t care about competing.”

            That offended Rin for some reason.  “Don’t care?  How can you not care about the world’s greatest sport?  And you’re really good at it!  If you’d just try a little bit, you could even surpass me in no time –“

            “Enough.”  Sousuke cut him off.

            But Rin wasn’t to be dissuaded.  “No.”  He set his jaw stubbornly.  “I’ll keep bugging you about it unless you do one thing.”

            At first, Sousuke thought he meant quit swimming.  But then Rin said: “Race me butterfly.  If you can beat me, I’ll stop bugging you.  But until you can beat me, I’m gonna keep saying it to you at every practice.”

            Of course he knew it was all just a way to get him to train harder, because he obviously lost to Rin the first time.  But it worked.  And even more than that, it made him his first friend.  When he finally won, Rin insisted they have their picture taken to commemorate the occasion, since it would never happen again.  That time was the first time he’d actually started to enjoy racing and considered swimming on an international level.  The picture was framed and sat by his bedside for years.

\---

            Sousuke sets down the frame holding his treasure and glances over at the clock on the wall.  He’s in a dorm room by himself, hosted by the team he signed with.  He’s not allowed to start training with them until after the high school season ends, but they brought him and the other few swimmers they signed already down for some time trials and to do their physical exams.

            Earlier that day he was shown around the facility and met some of the current team members and coaches.  They went through what a daily schedule would look like for swimmers of different specialties and how they could go about getting a degree at the same time.  It was fairly boring and Sousuke didn’t connect with anyone there (though his people skills had improved significantly since he first met Rin).  The whole time he kept thinking _wow, Rin would really love this_.

            He thought about texting Rin during the day, but he knew the other swimmer was busy with his training routine and doing his homework so he wouldn’t have to do it during the week.  Rin had stepped up his training recently, Sousuke noticed.  He’d really toned his muscles even more since the start of the season.  At the rate he’s going, Sousuke wouldn’t be surprised if he got offers from multiple teams come prefecturals.

            Sousuke glances over at the clock.  Rin’s probably in bed by now.  He likes to wake up early on Saturdays to run.  This would be the first one Sousuke’s missed, aside from the week they both went home.  Maybe he’ll wake up and go running at the same time.  It wouldn’t be a bad idea for him to get a workout in that’s longer than a two thousand meter warm up, a few hundreds and two hundreds, and a thousand meter cool down.  He understood they were only allowed to do so much before it violated the no training rule, but he still would’ve liked to swim a bit longer.

            It’s funny how he went from only liking swimming because he had time to himself underwater to wanting to swim with another person.  Rin just has some aura around him that makes people excited to swim.  It’s part of why he’s such a good captain.  He’s probably the reason Nanase is so invested in that relay of theirs too.

            Nanase.  Just thinking the name causes a spike of jealousy to course through Sousuke.  He really could see why Rin was so enamored with him; his freestyle was beautiful.  Practically flawless.  But Rin…would not stop talking about him.  He did it when he’d first seen Nanase swim back when they were kids, and he does it now even with Sousuke sleeping in the same room as him.  The jealousy just grew and grew until suddenly he snapped on Nanase himself.

            In a way he feels bad.  Rin would be angry if he knew Sousuke had intimidated him.  But on the other hand, he was just trying to protect Rin and his dream.  Nanase could care less about Rin making it to the Olympics; that much had been made clear by everything Rin told him.  And besides, Rin seems to have some very strong feelings for Nanase.  If he ever found out the other didn’t feel the same, he’d be heartbroken, and Sousuke couldn’t let that happen.

            He glances over at the clock.  It’s starting to get late, and he’s decided to try and get back to Samezuka in time to go for that run with Rin in the morning.  Sousuke pushes all thoughts of Nanase to the side and tries to get some sleep.

* * *

 

            Makoto wakes up warmer than usual, pressed against another body.  He thinks for a moment that he won’t open his eyes or wake up Haru just yet, so he can treasure this moment a bit longer, but then the body shifts.  He frowns, eyes still closed.  That’s not Haru.

            Barely a heartbeat of time passes before the events from last night come crashing back into his memory.  His eyes pop open at the same time he lets out a loud “Oh!”  And the body against him slips off and lands on the floor.

            “What the hell, Makoto?”  Rin glares up at him, rubbing his lower back.  “If you wanted to wake me up, you could’ve been gentler.”

            He’s wearing the squinty eyed scowl they’d become so accustomed to seeing him wear the year before, but the effect is lessened by the slight bed head his hair had become in the night.  He looks positively adorable, and instantly Makoto forgets what he was so worried about moments before.  He smiles at Rin.  “Morning.  Didn’t you want to go for a run?”

            “Huh?  Oh yeah.  What time is it?”  He stands up and searches through the top bunk for something.  Makoto isn’t sure what; he’s distracted by the perfect V showing where Rin’s shirt rode up.  Rin finds whatever he’s looking for and kneels on the ground beside the bed. 

             Ah.  It’s his phone.

            “Shit.  I was gonna run an hour ago.  Forgot to set my alarm last night.”

            The reason for the guilt returns immediately.  “I’m so sorry about yesterday.  I shouldn’t have attacked you like that.  It was completely out of line.  I don’t know what came over me.  I –“

             “Shh.  Enough, Makoto.”  Rin sets down his phone and looks at him seriously.  “It was as much my fault as it was yours.  We had some built up tension.  It won’t happen again.”

              For some reason, that doesn’t cheer him up any.  “Yeah,” he agrees anyway, because that’s what he does when things don’t go his way.  “You’re right.”

             Rin frowns at him, but doesn’t say anything.  He stands up.  “I’m gonna go for a run.”  As he turns, Makoto sees that his foot is tangled in a cord, and he’s gonna trip and fall, so his hand darts out and he grabs Rin’s wrist.  Rin turns around too fast and really does trip, and Makoto pulls down so he won’t hit his head.  It all happens in a blur, but moments later Rin is on top of Makoto, straddling him.

             They stare at each other, breathing harder than they should be considering how nothing happened.  “Fuck,” Rin says before pressing his mouth on Makoto’s with the same urgency he did last night.  He backs away moments later, muttering something about morning breath, but Makoto doesn’t care about that right now and pulls him back down.

              It’s only their third kiss and already they’re getting better at it.  Makoto can already tell the exact time Rin gets frustrated with the shallower kisses and wants him to part his lips.  He does that moments before Rin bites him, but really the bites make it _better_.  Their lips move against each other, and Makoto decides they’re wearing too much clothing.  He wants to touch the V of Rin’s abs without having cloth in the way and starts tugging the fabric up and over the other’s head during one of their short breaks for air.

              Much better.  He slides his hands up and down Rin’s back and sides before letting them slip to the front.  Wow, he’s been working out.  Makoto should’ve known that already from racing against him the night before and shoving him against those lockers, but there’s something about feeling it with his hands that makes the fact resonate.  He wonders how much lower he can drop his hand before he gets uncomfortable with the situation (because the fact is that his own tolerance is probably much lower than anyone else’s), but there’s a vibration on his thigh before he can find out.

              Rin breaks away and sits up, grabbing the offending phone and answering it as Rage On starts blasting from it.  “Hey.  What’s up?”  There’s a pause.  “Yeah,” Rin laughs, “I actually woke up late so I haven’t gone out.  I thought you weren’t coming home till tomorrow.”  Another pause.  Rin gets up and walks around.  “Alright.  I’m getting ready right now.  Come back to the room and we’ll go.”  One final short pause and then he hits a button and drops the phone.  Makoto doesn’t move from where he is until Rin throws a pair of shorts at him.

             “Come on, we’re going for a run.”

             “Me too?”

             The look Rin gives him would be amusing if Makoto weren’t still stuck on the feel of his abs under his hands.  “Yes, you too.  Unless you wanna get soft and have your ass kicked by our first year.”

             His tone of voice makes Makoto smile, and he stands and starts to change too.  “I take it that first year isn’t joining us?”

             Rin is halfway through putting his own shorts on, and Makoto is definitely _not_ staring at him while he does.  “Of course not.  It’s just gonna be you, me, and Sousuke.  If that’s alright.”

             “Yeah of course.”  He finally throws the shorts on that Rin leant him before the other can notice him staring.  Makoto doesn’t know Sousuke all that well, but he seemed nice enough the few times they _had_ met.  He was Rin’s best friend before he joined Iwatobi swim club, and they seem to get along well enough now, so he can’t be that bad.  “Do you think he’ll mind?”

             “Sousuke?  No way.  He’ll probably like you anyway.  Everyone likes you.”

             The compliment takes him by such surprise, Makoto actually drops his shirt.  He bends down to pick it up before Rin can notice anything.

             They’re both dressed and tying their shoes when the key clicks in the lock and the door swings open.  Rin stands up and claps Sousuke on the shoulder before he can even get all the way in the door.  “So?  How was it?” 

             And just like that, Makoto is forgotten.  It’s the same feeling he gets whenever Haru and Rin are around each other; like they’re the only two people in the world, and he’s just there taking up space.

            But then it’s different.  “…You remember Makoto right?  He was the backstroker in the relay with Haru and the others.”  His head jerks up at the sound of his name.  Sousuke drops his bags and Makoto stands to shake his hand.  “I actually got him to race me last night.  I didn’t think I was going to,” Rin continues uninterrupted.

            Sousuke’s grip is hard, and his expression is masked.  Makoto can’t get a read on him, so he smiles pleasantly, reminding himself that Sousuke is friends with Rin and that Rin is a fairly good judge of people.  “Makoto Tachibana.  Nice to meet you.”

            “Likewise.  Are you joining us?”

            “If that’s ok with you.  Rin invited me.”  Somehow that fact seemed important to add.

            “Of course,” Sousuke replies smoothly, and the handshake finally ends.  Makoto flexes his fingers while they walk out the door. 

            They leave the dorm and start jogging as a warm up, and Rin goes off about his new diet and exercise plan.  He’s talking to them both at least, but Makoto can already tell he’s not gonna be able to keep up, so he falls behind, letting them run side by side.

            He looks over at Sousuke, trying to get a read on him, and immediately sees him staring at Rin with an expression Makoto knows all too well.  It’s the same look he gives Haru; of being in love with someone but knowing you can’t have them.  The tight handshake and unreadable expression suddenly make sense.  Sousuke’s in love with Rin the same as Makoto’s in love with Haru.  And if he were a betting man (which he isn’t), Makoto would bet that Sousuke knows Rin’s destined for Haru, just like Makoto does.

           He drops a little further behind intentionally so they can have more space, knowing Sousuke probably looks forward to little moments like these with Rin.  But Rin turns his head.  “Makoto, come on!  You’re gonna get slow if you don’t keep up!”  He flashes one of the grins like he used to before Australia, the ones that can melt the heart of even the cruelest man, and Makoto speeds up.  He doesn’t fall behind the rest of the run, but he notices out of the corner of his eye that Sousuke’s face remains masked the entire time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First survey results:
> 
> Ship: INCONCLUSIVE! The results were too close to call, so I made a second survey. It's shorter than the first, and hopefully it will break the tie. Link: https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/F9NTSCQ
> 
> Polyamory: Will not have a polyamorous relationship. A threeway will only occur if it makes sense with the plot, but is unlikely.
> 
> MakoRin, MakoHaru, SousRin will all see action of some kind ;)
> 
> NagiRei side pairing
> 
> No OCs, no cheating once relationships established, no SousHaru
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you to everyone who responded!


	6. Metamorphosis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joint practice at Iwatobi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who filled out the second survey! The first random prompt was already filled and can be found under my works. The results of it (I'm 3 responses under maxing out, so it's safe to say they won't change much) are much more helpful than the first. There won't be a third survey unless I hear from lots of people that you all changed your minds.
> 
> I had the events of this chapter pretty well planned out, but I wasn't sure who's point of view I wanted where, so there are a lot more POV changes in this one than normal. That's part of why it took so long to write too (almost a whole week!). I hope that doesn't make it seem too awkward. I proof read it extra times just in case, but I can always edit it. That's no big deal.
> 
> Enjoy!

            “Joint practice,” Makoto announces after Rei gets out of the pool triumphantly.  Earlier today, Haru decided to forgive him for telling Rin about his behavior, and they’ve gone back to normal without talking about anything.  Haru just stares at him though, because he doesn’t remember Makoto mentioning anything about a joint practice at lunch, and he would have said something about swimming indoors earlier.

            “With Samezuka?  I don’t remember Onii-chan saying anything to me about it…”  Kou frowns in confusion.

            Makoto shakes his head, his trademark small smile still present.  “No I talked with Rin about this recently.  He mentioned wanting some of his backstrokers to get experience, so he’s bringing them over tomorrow.”

            Haru raises his eyebrows at the same time Nagisa says: “Rin-chan’s coming here?”

            “That is rather unusual,” Rei agrees.

            Makoto just smiles.  “Like I said: some of his backstrokers needed to practice outdoors before prefecturals, so he’s bringing them over.”

            “Is he actually coming here?”  Rei asks, trying to look nonchalant about it.  None of them plan to tell him that they know about the swim lessons.

            “Yes.  He’ll be here a little after our normal practice starts, so it’ll give us time to warm up and everything before they arrive.”

            Kou nods with a serious thinking expression on her face, but doesn’t say anything.  Haru’s sure she’s thinking about who Rin would bring in regards to their muscles, but Haru’s just thinking about the fact that Rin is going to be here.  With him.  And Makoto.  “Do you know who all is coming?”  He turns to Makoto and asks, thinking that there’s a certain Samezuka swimmer he doesn’t want to see just yet.

            Makoto shrugs.  “All he said were backstrokers and that he’s leaving Sousuke in charge of the rest of the team while he comes out here.”

            His shoulders relax.  He hadn’t even realized they were tense.  He waits to see if Makoto has any more important announcements before jumping in the pool and beginning his warm up.

            The water is calming and quiet.  The good thing about having a team with only four members and a pool with six lanes is that they each had their own lane and no one had to hug the wall.  Kou had come up with some sets Haru is sure she stole from Rin based on their precise calculation and complexity.  He breezes through the kick set, drill sets, main set, and cool down, and then all too soon it’s time to get out of the pool.

            Makoto waits for him outside the locker room as usual, and they walk home together.  They’re both quiet, and Haru can practically feel Makoto’s uncertainty of what he’s allowed to bring up.  So he does it first.  “You didn’t mention the joint practice at lunch today.”

            “Huh?”  Makoto turns and looks at Haru, and it occurs to him that maybe Makoto was day dreaming.  “Oh.  Yeah, he called me after lunch.”

            Haru frowns.  “Rin never calls anyone.”

            The other shrugs.  “I guess he just really wanted to make sure we have a joint practice.”  That makes sense, Haru supposes, and the subject is dropped.

* * *

 

            Rin arrives the next day before they’re even done with warm up.  Makoto hops out of the water when he sees them arrive and approaches with his trademark smile.  “Welcome,” he says politely to the group as a whole.  Mikoshiba’s little brother is practically bouncing on the balls of his feet in excitement, while the rest of them are already stripping down.  Rin approaches Makoto.

            “Thanks again for doing this on such short notice.”  He’s taking off his jacket, and Makoto is trying very hard to keep his eyes from trailing down his body.  It wouldn’t be good to be caught checking out the guy your best friend was in love with, especially when you were in love with your best friend.

            “It’s not a problem.  I’m happy we could help.”

            Rin takes off his pants too, revealing that he had his suit on under his clothes.  Makoto wonders if he wears it all day like Haru does, then decides not to ask.  “How’re you?”  Rin asks, and Makoto knows he’s not talking about his well-being.

            “Haru’s forgiven me.”  Makoto looks off toward the pool where the freestyler is still swimming.

            Rin nods.  “That’s good.”  He turns to his team.  “Guys 600 meter warm up, get in the pool!”  The Samezuka guys run off to the four lanes Makoto set aside for them as Rin turns back to him.

            “I didn’t know you had so many backstrokers.”

            Rin shakes his head.  “Some of them are IMers, so they could use the practice outside too.  I figured we needed some when the captain’s little brother ran into the wall with his head the other day.”

            “The one who likes Gou?”

            “Yeah.  He’s a weird guy.”  Rin shakes his head and starts walking off toward the pool.  “I gave them a workout and everything to do, so hopefully they stay in their lanes.”  He stands in front of his lane and snaps his goggles against the back of his head like he does before a race before diving in the pool, leaving Makoto staring after him.  Rin has a nice stroke too, not smooth and perfect like Haru’s, but strong and sure.  Technique was never Rin’s strong suit, he remembers, but he’s managed to make his own style work well enough for him.

            “Mako-chan!  Are you gonna join us?”  Nagisa yells from the pool, jerking him out of his reverie.  He hadn’t even realized he was still staring into the distance.

            “Yes of course!”  He calls as he runs back to the lane he’s sharing with Haru today.

            The freestyler is holding the wall waiting for him to jump in.  They’re sharing lane 1 so Nagisa and Rei can take lane 2 and not hit the wall when they practice their specialty strokes.  “I want to swim,” he says simply when Makoto finally jumps in.  Haru only shows his impatient side when it comes to swimming and water.  It’s cute when he does, and Makoto’s stuck thinking about the slight not-pout Haru sometimes wears for the rest of practice, forgetting Rin’s even there.

* * *

 

            Throughout practice, Haru sometimes watches Rin underwater.  He can’t help it.  Everyone tells him that he looks beautiful in the water, but there’s something entrancing about watching Rin.  He’s got such an energy and excitement around him that Haru knows he can never compete with, and he wonders how no one else is so distracted by it the whole time.

            The main set is hard enough to get him to refocus though, and he manages to contain his thoughts the rest of practice.  He notices other things instead, though.  Like how Rei is getting closer and closer to keeping up with Nagisa and how much Makoto’s freestyle has improved.  He focuses on improving himself, because even if he doesn’t care about times, his friends _do_ and he doesn’t want to let them down, but then practice ends again.  It always ends too soon.

            The Samezuka swimmers that Rin brought are already cooled down and out of the water, along with Nagisa and Rei.  Makoto’s climbing out too, ready to help Haru out of the pool, but Haru gives him a look and Makoto smiles and walks away instead.  He’s allowed more time to swim now, to stay in the one place he feels calm, but he watches Makoto’s retreating back anyway just to make sure.

            Rin approaches him with a smile and the two of them head together into the locker rooms talking about something.  Haru feels a momentary stab of jealousy at being forgotten so easily by his two best friends but remembers it’s something he asked for in a way.  He drops under water and pushes off the wall, leaving all those thoughts behind.

* * *

 

            The locker room is louder than it’s ever been before with the Samezuka swimmers in it.  Nagisa’s already being social and talking to the other swimmers while they shower (two to a shower because there are just that many and the showers at Iwatobi are that few), and even Rei’s holding a conversation with one of the older Samezuka swimmers.  Rin grabs his bag and drops it alongside Makoto’s, causing him to jump a little in surprise.  “Zoning out?”  He asks, a smile playing on his lips.

            He likes Rin’s smile.  It’s come out more and more often since the relay, and even though Makoto’s still firmly in love with Haru, he can’t help but notice how nice it is to see Rin’s old grin back on his face.  “Just thinking about how strange it is to have so many people in here.”

            Rin looks over to the showers.  “Yeah, it is pretty full isn’t it?”  He turns his head back to his bag and opens it, rifling through the contents.  “Your freestyle looks great, by the way,” he says casually.

            Makoto feels a slight flush rising to his cheeks.  “Thank you,” he replies sincerely, because a compliment on his swimming technique from someone as fast as Rin isn’t something to be taken lightly. 

           “Seriously.  If I’d known you were gonna be good at that too, I would’ve made you race me free the other night.”  Rin looks up at him from his bag, still smiling, and Makoto swallows.

           “Thank you,” he responds again, because he can’t think of anything else to say.  He pulls his towel from his bag at the same time Rin extracts his own.  “I don’t think we’re gonna shower any time soon.”

            “Hmm, probably not.  That’s ok though, I was planning to hang around a little longer anyway.”  The sideways look Rin gives him as he says that just makes Makoto’s blush more obvious.

            “Don’t you have to take them back?”  He asks, not because he wants Rin to leave (because strangely enough, he doesn’t) but because he doesn’t want this _thing_ , whatever it is, to come anywhere near Haru.

            Rin shakes his head.  “Uozumi is in charge of taking them back.”  He looks over to one of the swimmers in the shower.  “I kind of feel for that guy.  He has a strong backstroke, but then Mikoshiba’s brother came and kind of kicked him out of contention for the relay.”

            It’s sweet, how much Rin cares about the members of his team.  Makoto wonders if they care about him as much, or if they only see him as the disgruntled teammate who abandoned them to swim with Iwatobi last year.  “You have to put the better swimmers on the relay,” he comforts logically, and Rin smiles at him.

            They sit there and talk for a little longer as they wait for the others to clear out the showers.  Just as the they’re empty, one of the swimmers Makoto doesn’t know calls Rin away to ask him about something.  Makoto finally gets in the shower and breathes a sigh of relief at the feeling of clean, non-chlorinated water rushing past his shoulders.  He closes the curtain out of habit, but makes no move to strip off his suit just yet.

            He hears someone come in and moments later the curtain is shoved back and he’s being kissed within an inch of his life.  His hand comes up in surprise and he falls back to lean against the wall.  When they break apart, Rin’s eyeing him like a predator to its prey, and Makoto swallows.  “What was that for?”  He asks like it matters, even though it doesn’t.

            “As if you don’t know,” Rin responds, and Makoto hardly has time to reply _no he actually doesn’t know_ because his lips are occupied once more.

            The only thing between them and being caught is a flimsy curtain Rin didn’t bother closing the whole way when he came in and the sound of the water hitting them and the floor, but Makoto isn’t bothered by it at the moment.  His hands are filled with Rin’s muscles, which he swears feel stronger today than a few days ago, and he wonders if the skin covering them tastes the same as his lips.

            When they next break to breathe, he decides to test that theory.  Before Rin can react, Makoto’s head drops down to where his neck curves to meet his shoulder, his mouth finding the exact spot.  He moves his lips innocently at first, treating it the same as he did with Rin’s mouth, before biting down experimentally and sucking on the skin.  His hands are still gripping Rin’s hips, and he feels the precise moment the butterflier sags into them for support. 

            “Fuck…Makoto…”  Rin breathes, and the sound of his name paired with a curse is too much.  Makoto straightens back up and takes Rin’s mouth with his own once more, swallowing whatever he was going to say next.  They make out under the water some more, rocking against each other to increase the barely-there friction between them, and because they’re teenagers, they finish quickly.

            Rin hands him the soap almost immediately after.  “It would be a shame to take this long of a shower and not get clean,” he reasons.  It should feel awkward, showering with the friend you just made out with and got off on, but for some reason it doesn’t.

            “What is this?”  Makoto blurts out unintentionally.  Rin looks at him in confusion and Makoto backtracks.  “I-I mean you said it didn’t mean anything, right?”

            It takes a moment for Rin to finally answer.  “Friends with benefits, I think is the term for it.”  He has a careful tone of voice when he says those words.

            “What does that mean?”  He’d heard the expression used before, but it was always so vague.  “We just…”  He blushes again.  “Sleep together and stay friends?”

            Rin looks away.  “Well, I wouldn’t go that far.”  He rinses the suds off his skin before speaking again.  “It may sound stupid and silly but I want to save myself for that.”  Makoto notices the other’s chest is red, and suddenly he’s aware Rin’s blushing too.  “You know.  For someone special.”

            “Oh,” Makoto responds, because he’s not sure what he’s supposed to say to something like that.

            “Not that you’re not special!”  Rin says quickly.  “But…it should be someone I’m in love with.”

            “No, I understand.”  Makoto smiles, even though Rin isn’t looking at him to see it.  “I feel the same actually.”  He looks out the half-open curtain to the door leading to the pool, thinking about exactly _who_ he wants that to be.

            “We don’t have to, if you don’t want.  Do this I mean.”

            Makoto looks back to Rin and meets his eyes.  “I like kissing you,” he admits before he can stop himself.  It is seriously a problem to be around Rin.  “And stuff.”

            The other smiles at him.  “Good.”  He steps out of the shower.  “By the way, you might want to clean out your suit.”  Makoto’s cheeks flush again.

* * *

 

            Rin’s late coming back from the joint practice at Iwatobi, but Sousuke waits up for him anyway.  He kept a log of who looked promising for the different relays and wanted to share that with him when he got back.  Plus, he’s curious how things went on Rin’s end.

            He gets a text from Rin a few moments later stating he’s locked out of the gates, and can Sousuke please come down and get him?  He rolls off the other’s bed, which he uses sometimes rather than climbing up into the dreaded top bunk, and slips on his shoes and a jacket to get Rin. 

The other is standing outside the gates holding his bag and looking stupidly happy, and Sousuke feels an irrational twinge of irritation directed towards Nanase.  Rin smiles at him when he opens the gate.  “Thanks.  Forgot my keys.”

            On first glance, nothing looks unusual, so he grunts in reply.  Rin wastes no time in telling him how the backstroke practice went.  “You could tell some of these guys hadn’t swum outdoors in a while; they were zig zagging all over the place.  By the end though, they got the hang of guiding themselves without having the aid of a ceiling…”

            He nods as Rin continues to talk about how Mikoshiba was able to consistently count his strokes coming into the wall for turns and finishes and only hit his head once.  When Rin finally asks him how things went, he mentions the list he made sitting in their room.

            “Awesome.  I’ll look at that then.”  Sousuke unlocks the door and Rin walks in first, dropping his bag and slipping out of his jacket.  He kicks off his shoes and starts changing into his sleeping clothes, so Sousuke looks away.

            “I made note of who I thought looked the best in regards to the 200 and 400 free relays based on their times at the end of practice today,” he directs to the wall, waiting for Rin to finish changing. 

            “Where’s the list?”  Rin asks right behind him, and Sousuke turns around, seeing him already changed.  His eyes drop automatically to Rin’s shoulders, which are getting broader and stronger by the day.  He loses his train of thought the moment they land on a mouth-shaped bruise forming at the base of his neck.  His mood darkens instantly.

            “I left it on your bed.”  Sousuke brushes past Rin and climbs into his own bunk, hoping the other didn’t notice the change in his expression.  “I’m going to sleep, turn off the light when you’re done.”

            “Alright.”  Rin’s voice sounds wary, so maybe he _did_ notice.  But he doesn’t push it.  “Sorry for keeping you up.  Thanks for the notes; I’ll look at them in the morning.”  The lights are turned off and there’s a rustling as Rin gets into his bed.  “Night, Sousuke.”

            “Goodnight.”

            It takes hardly any time for Rin’s breathing to steady, but Sousuke can’t sleep.  Jealousy is coursing thick and hot in his veins.  That mark must’ve been left by _Nanase_ , which means he didn’t heed Sousuke’s first warning.  His last thought before he fell asleep was that it was time to pay Nanase another visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes on swimming terms:
> 
> IM: Individual Medley. One swimmer swims all 4 strokes (Butterfly->Backstroke->Breaststroke->Freestyle). At the high school level in America, this means they swim a 50 of each stroke, 200 yards/meters in total.
> 
> Backstroke: A lot of swimmers use the "ceiling" technique when swimming backstroke, which means they follow a line on the ceiling in order to swim straight. This creates problems when swimming outdoors or in a pool with a crooked ceiling (been there, ouch). Counting the strokes is a method for backstroke where you could the number of strokes from the flags (5 meters out) into the wall. Generally, one stroke is subtracted from that number for flip turns.
> 
> Relays: Free! only talks about one of the 3 main relays done at the high school level. The other two are the 200 Free Relay (4 swimmers, 50 meters/yards each of freestyle) and the 400 Free Relay (4 swimmers, 100 yards/meters of freestyle). At the club/olympic level the 400 Medley Relay and 800 Free Relay are added, and I believe the 200 Medley Relay is eliminated.
> 
> Sets: A swim practice is constructed in the following way: Warm Up -> Sets -> Cool Down. The sets usually consist of a kick set (ex: 8x50's kick on the 1:30), drill sets which focus on the main stroke (ex: 10x75's doing certain drills per length), stroke sets which definitely focus on the main stroke (ex: 7x100's butterfly on the 1:40. been there. fuck that.), and main sets which are usually focused on freestyle, though some will include the main stroke/IMs as well (ex: 20x100's on the 1:20. this was a common one.). There was never a practice where I only swam 1 stroke. I swam all four in almost every practice, so don't think Makoto and Nagisa are only working on back/breast. They do all four.
> 
> Any questions on swimming terminology? I swam competitively for 9 years of my life, so I would be happy to clarify any areas of confusion in either the anime or my fanfic.


	7. Stars Align

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The obligatory Reigisa chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is absolutely a filler and I'm not even sorry.
> 
> By the way, the titles of the chapters are all from electronic (mostly dubstep songs) which can be found in this playlist: http://8tracks.com/catwhoman/eternal-summer

            Nagisa, as it turns out, can keep a secret rather well.  This fact didn’t surprise Rei in the least; that Nagisa went to Haruka-senpai instead of him _did_.  He’d thought that he and the blond were at least friends.  (Though the hasty, yet chaste kiss Nagisa had planted on his lips after he’d let Rin take his place in the relay would’ve made him think otherwise.  It never went any further, however, and Rei decided it was just Nagisa displaying yet another form of his unusual skinship.)

            That Nagisa didn’t even try talking to him first, hurt him more than he let the others see.  Really, it was painful enough to hear that your best friend (could he even call him that?) stayed the night at Haruka-senpai’s home from another.  What’s worse is how Makoto-senpai seemed to notice that something was wrong before he did.

            Rei spends the entire day after lunch thinking about what could possibly be wrong with Nagisa.  He’s so focused on it that he misses the question the teacher asks him and answers it incorrectly.  He’s even scolded for it.  It’s humiliating and just makes the entire day that much more unbearable.

            He tries to remain as positive as he can, as research has commonly stated a positive attitude can help one get through even the most trying of situations, but a phone call from Makoto-senpai stating that Nagisa has run away from home dashes all those positive thoughts.  He runs as fast as he can over to Haruka-senpai’s house, possible scenarios running through his mind.  One thought keeps repeating over and over again; _how come he didn’t come to me?_

            Rei is almost glad Haruka-senpai and Makoto-senpai haven’t had any luck bringing a confession from him.  It means he still has a chance at being the person Nagisa trusts the most.  That thought is disturbing enough to him that when he _isn’t_ told the secret inside the room, he makes up some ridiculous nonsense about a perpetrator just to hide his feelings.

            It gets harder when they’re at the club.

            Nagisa’s already revealed why he ran away, but when he talks about why he loves swimming, most of the reasons go back to Makoto-senpai, Haruka-senpai and Rin.  Even when he’s mentioned, he can’t help but feel he’s second best to the original relay members.

Makoto-senpai is the one who notices.  “Rei, is something wrong?”  He asks as they hide by the Iwatobi pool from a person with a 76.4% likelihood of being Nagisa’s mother.

            “Ah.”  He pauses, trying to come up with a way of wording his thoughts such that Nagisa would be forced to take him seriously, just as he has been with Makoto-senpai and Haruka-senpai.  “Nagisa-kun, there’s one thing I want to ask you.”

            “Rei-chan?”  The irrefutably irritating, yet undeniably charming boy steps closer to him, and the world for Rei narrows down to the space confined by the short 1.45 meter distance.

            “You said you haven’t tried to talk to your parents, right?”  He asks first.  He knows the answer, of course, but it’s important Nagisa know where he’s going with this.  Then he lays down the facts he’s positive Nagisa didn’t think of himself.  “Doesn’t that mean you’d given up on talking to them from the start?”  The other’s face shifts, and Rei knows he has his full attention, so he continues.  “About your middle school and about this…and about how you really feel.  You gave up before you even tried, didn’t you?”  
            Nagisa just stares at him with shaking eyes, and Rei’s heart is going to have palpitations if he doesn’t do something, so he walks up and shakes Nagisa-kun’s shoulders.  “Well?!”

            “Hey, Rei…”  Makoto-senpai approaches first but is interrupted by Nagisa.

            “That’s…not true…”  The blond looks down, truly upset for the first time since Rei’s known him.  But he can’t seem weak now.

            “Then face forward and speak to them.”

            “Come on, you two…”  Makoto-senpai tries to intervene weakly.

            Rei looks directly at Nagisa.  “Or are you going to give up this time, too?”

            The words work, even if it’s only Amakata-sensei who’s there, not his parents.

            But if Rei thinks their relationship would be anything different than what it was already, he’s clearly incorrect.  Nagisa acts the same as always the next day when they take the train together in the morning.  He doesn’t even speak when they run the remainder of the way to school as had become tradition since their third encounter.

            Rei doesn’t even make it to the lunch period before he can’t take the uncertainty anymore.  “Nagisa-kun!”  He stops to yell as they run up the stairs to meet Haruka-senpai and Maoto-senpai for lunch.  “I need to speak with you!”

The blond pauses and looks down at him with concern from three steps above.  “Rei-chan…?”

            Though Rei is able to perfectly master the theory of almost any subject, he’s never been able to flawlessly demonstrate those skills in practice.  Swimming was one example of this.   Love confessions is another.  “Given the probability that a person would do something as forward as kiss a person if they harbored feelings for the aforementioned person, there is a distinct possibility that I believed this relationship was going to progress in a direction we have hereto left unexplored.  As I am not unwilling to pursue this potential change in the status quo with you, I believe that we should pursue this option by testing the theory of repeating the actions which we performed approximately 11 months prior to this date.”

            Nagisa’s mouth was hanging open in a way which would be unseemly on a majority of the human population, however defied logic by looking adorable on him.  “Rei-chan, what…?”

            “What I am saying is that there is an increased tempo in my heartbeat, which would ordinarily be caused by physical exertion; however, climbing the stairs is not so taxing on my body as I am an athlete in peak condition.  There does also seem to be some sort of difficulty in my ability to control what I am saying at this moment, indicating a heightening of nerves.”

            “Rei-chan, you’re hardly making sens –“

            “I like you, Nagisa-kun.”

            Nagisa takes a step backward, up the stairs, before beaming at him in that way which _causes_ the increased heartbeat Rei was discussing.  “I like you too Rei-chan.  That’s why we’re friends.  Come o –“

            The blond makes an aborted move to turn and continue running up the steps, but Rei grabs his arm and holds him back.  “No, Nagisa-kun,” he says seriously, looking away when Nagisa tries to make eye-contact.  “I mean to say...I like you romantically.”

            It’s horribly awkward for a moment.  Rei tries desperately to fight the flush which is rising past his neck to his ears, and Nagisa doesn’t say anything.  Rei considers releasing Nagisa and walking away, claiming it was all in jest just to spare them both the humiliation, but then he’s falling back.  He stumbles and regains his balance at the bottom of the steps, but his back collides with the wall as his front is hit by a tornado of blond hair.

            Nagisa’s embracing him.  Any hopes Rei had of hiding the blush are dashed when he feels his entire face heat up.  The blond is speaking too fast against his collarbone, and even if he were speaking slower Rei’s sure he wouldn’t be able to comprehend anything beyond the other’s breath against his skin.

            It takes all his effort to push the other off him so he can speak properly.  “Nagisa-kun, I can’t understand you when you’re muffled,” he scolds weakly.

            “I like you too, Rei-chan!”  The other exclaims immediately.  “I have since the moment we first met!  I thought maybe you disliked me since you didn’t do anything after I kissed you, so I backed off a bit, but I’m so happy to hear that you like me back!”

            He beams up at Rei in a way that simply makes his predicament worse.  Nagisa opens his mouth to speak again, and Rei panics.  There’s one sure-fire way to make someone stop speaking, and that is to occupy their lips with something distracting.  Rei hopes his own are distracting enough.

            It’s just as short and awkward as their first kiss, and Rei can’t quite meet Nagisa’s eyes when they break away.  He’d researched a bit on kissing after their first but dropped the subject from his list when it appeared to go no further.  Currently, it’s at the top of his list of things to study when he gets home tonight, as he’s quite positive he did something terribly wrong.

            Nagisa, he notices when he gets the courage to sneak a peek at the blond, looks impossibly happy.  “Do you want to go out with me, Rei-chan?”  He asks, and Rei adds ‘ _possible methods of reducing an involuntary blush from occurring_ ’ to the second spot on his research list.

            “Y-yes,” he stutters.  Falling for someone is rather un-beautiful if it causes these kinds of responses.  But then Nagisa smiles again, and Rei thinks perhaps it’s the most beautiful thing after all.

            “Tonight we’ll go on a date!”

            The date, as it’s called, is a shopping trip for new swim suits.  Nagisa claims they need to get a matching set in order to be truly a couple, and Rei finds himself agreeing.  He excuses himself a moment to get something to drink from the vending machine (which of course is just a way of excusing himself to try and calm his irrational nerves) and nearly runs into the person already standing there.  How unbeautiful.

            “Oh, my apologies!”  He exclaims, bowing.  “I didn’t see you there!”

            “Rei?”  A familiar voice asks, and he looks up.

            “Rin-san!”  The other raises his eyebrows, and Rei realizes he just yelled.  “What are you doing here?”  He asks in a more normal tone of voice.  As far as he recalls, Rin’s team had already come here shopping for their suits earlier.

            Rin shrugs.  “I need new goggles.  Snapped the straps on mine at practice earlier.  What about you?  Don’t you already have a suit?”

            “Nagisa-kun and I are getting matching ones.”

            “Just you two?  What about Haru and Makoto?”

            Rei panics.  He hadn’t thought about whether he should tell people about him and Nagisa yet.  They hadn’t told Haruka-senpai or Makoto-senpai, so there was a definite probability he shouldn’t tell Rin either.  He opens his mouth to come up with an excuse but is interrupted by the topic of conversation appearing.

            “Rei-chan!  I found the perfect suit!  You’re going to – Rin-chan?”

            Rei’s face is perhaps the same shade of Rin’s hair.  He sees how Rin looks between the two of them and notices the precise moment understanding dawns on his face.  Rei prepares himself for the onslaught of questions and a lecture on why teammates shouldn’t date.

            It never comes.

            “I just came to get new goggles.  I actually have to head out.”  Rin places a hand on his shoulder as he walks by, and Rei nearly gasps when he sees the small smile the other butterflier gives him.  “You two have fun though.”  There’s a breeze and the hand leaves his shoulder.

            “Bye, Rin-chan!”  Nagisa yells.  Rei spins around to call his own farewell, but it gets caught in his throat.  Rin waves at the two of them without looking back.

            _Thank you_ , he wants to say.  _Thank you for everything_.  Instead his hand is grabbed by Nagisa, and he’s led toward the dressing room to try on his new suit.


	8. Fight For You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prefecturals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The swimming portion is incredibly skipped over/rushed because, hey, we already watched it in the episodes. Also, as I have not read High Speed!, Kisumi will not be in this fic. And finally, now that the plot here has finally reached the same general area of the plot in the show, you will start to see some actual divergence beginning in the next chapter.
> 
> Enjoy! Comments, ect are cherished and saved to a special email folder.

   

* * *

        

            Makoto has a required captain’s meeting after practice today, leaving Haru to walk home by himself.  He would stay in the pool and wait for Makoto, but the pool has to be locked up before the other can leave.  He takes a longer shower than normal, using the time to think about what Makoto had asked him before.  _Have you thought about it anymore?  What Rin said, I mean.  I just want to know what you’re thinking._

            Haru still can’t give Makoto a straight answer.  He wonders if Makoto’s still thinking about those medical school pamphlets.  He hasn’t seen any since, so maybe Makoto changed his mind.  He wonders what other pamphlets he’s kept hidden away.

            He wants to swim.  That’s all.  But swimming for a new team without Makoto and possibly without Rin either is out of the question.  It’s no good without them.  He can’t be free if he’s stuck on a team with people he doesn’t know and doesn’t like.  And what if they force him to swim on the relay too?  It’s no good.

            Haru turns off the water and steps out of the shower.  He needs water to think, but the water from a faucet just flows out and away.  It doesn’t help him any.  He needs a pool or even a bath.  He needs to head home.

            He’s barely outside of Iwatobi’s gates when he senses a presence watching him from behind.  Haru pauses immediately.  “Yamazaki.”  He uses the other’s last name, not because it’s more polite to address an acquaintance by their last name, but because in this case it seems more polite _not_ to.

            “Nanase,” comes the response.  Haru turns around in time to see Yamazaki stepping out of the shadows.

            “You didn’t want to wait for prefecturals?”  Haru asks coolly.

            Yamazaki steps forward.  “I told you to stay away from Rin.”

            Haru frowns.  This jealous boyfriend routine had already gotten old.  “Rin’s free to do as he wants.”  It’s true.  It took them an entire swim season and a disqualified relay, but finally he and Rin were able to free themselves from what was holding them back, and Haru didn’t relish the idea of them going back to how they were before.  Besides, Rin’s the one who came to speak with him in the first place.  Haru wonders if them getting in a fight is why Yamazaki’s here in the first place.  It seems a little odd, considering how long ago the fight itself took place.

            The taller swimmer takes another step forward.  He’s giving off an aura of darkness which reminds Haru of the time they raced in the relay.  It makes him shiver and take a step back.  “I’m not afraid of you,” he lies.  He can’t read Yamazaki, so he doesn’t know what the other is willing to do to prove his point.  He almost expects Yamazaki to take a swing at him.

            But he doesn’t do anything.  “Rin is an amazing swimmer.  He’s going to swim professionally in the Olympics, and he’s going to win.”  Haru’s amazed that he can say something so kind yet look so terrifying at the same time.

            “I’m not the one holding him back.”

            An ugly look crosses the other’s face but it’s gone in an instant.  “I won’t acknowledge you,” Yamazaki says.  The temperature between them drops ten degrees.  Haru’s eyes are ice cold, and Yamazaki’s are matching them.

            “No one’s making you.”  He turns to walk away, no longer interested in this conversation, but is stopped by a firm had on his shoulder.

            “Stay away from Rin.  Don’t pull him into that relay mess like before.”

            Haru jerks out of his grip.  “I only swim free,” he states coldly.  This time when he walks away, Yamazaki makes no effort to stop him.

* * *

 

            Sousuke had mentioned something about running errands after practice, leaving Rin to do his evening weight routine with Momo and Ai.  The rest of the team who were their last year had gained some respect for him, but he still hadn’t made any friends of them and they stayed away from him while they lifted.  The only ones who hang around at all are Momo and Ai.

            After an hour of “senpai senpai”, Rin leaves.  He showers and grabs his English copy of _No Limits_ to read while he waits for Sousuke to get back.  When the other walks in, Rin looks up and fixes him with his best glare.  The glare fades when he sees the look on Sousuke’s face.

            “Sousuke.”

            The other turns to him and smiles, the strange look fading to nothingness.  “Sorry.  How was training?”

            He knows Sousuke enough to realize this means they aren’t going to talk about it.  For being Sousuke’s best friend, Rin doesn’t know a lot about him.  He hates that.  “It was alright.  It’s more fun with you.  Those guys are too enthusiastic.”

            Sousuke chuckles.  “They want you to acknowledge them, that’s all.”

            “Yeah, I know.”  He sighs and sets down his book.  “Sousuke.  I made the relay list.  I’m not forcing you, but –“

            “I want to swim.”  Sousuke interrupts.

            Rin blinks.  “What?”

            “I want to swim.  In the relay.  I want to swim with you.”

            The shock soon turns to genuine happiness.  Rin grins at him.  “Yeah?”  Swimming in a relay with his friends is what makes Rin happier than anything else.  This makes it easier for him too.  They have the fastest freestyle and butterfly of the team, so if he takes Sousuke out he’d have to figure out which stroke he’d be swimming.  “I’m doing free so I can race Haru,” he explains.  “So you’ll be the fly leg.”

            He almost misses it.  But Rin has been watching him since Sousuke confessed to wanting to be in the relay.  Sousuke’s expression darkens.  There’s no other word for it.  It happens the instant he mentions Haru.  Sousuke’s lips twists and the smile falls, and in moments his face is an emotionless mask.  “Hm,” he nods, and just like before Rin knows it’s useless to ask him about it.

            “Ai didn’t make the team,” he says instead.  He feels for his junior, he really does.  Ai was the only one who stuck by his side last year, even when Mikoshiba didn’t.  He yelled at him, lashed out, ignored him, and yet Ai’s faithfulness never faltered.  He’s like another younger sibling Rin wants to protect.

            “He doesn’t have the fastest time.”  Leave it to Sousuke to point out the obvious.

            Rin sighs.  “I know.”  He sets the list aside.  “I’m still stuck on the backstrokers though.”  Uozumi would easily have the spot if it weren’t for the freakish speed Momo can swim at sometimes.  He still wants to give him the spot, simply because their times are so close and he’s a third year.  But he knows he has to be objective.

            “You’ll get there,” Sousuke grunts, already climbing into his bed.  It’s a comforting thing, really, having Sousuke there for him and believing in him.  Rin just wishes he could do the same for him.

\---

            If it weren’t for the two idiot brothers clearly lusting after his sister, Rin would say he’s glad to see Mikoshiba again.  The former captain makes a comment about how well Rin’s been doing with the team but doesn’t say much beyond that.  It’s strange, having him here but still being in charge.  He shakes himself from thinking anything further and just sends the team off on their warm up.

            Makoto catches his eye as they jump in the pool and smiles, making something pleasant twinge in his stomach.  As much as he’d like to go over there and lick that drop of water off Makoto’s neck, Rin has to focus.  So he just shoots him back a grin and hops in the pool.

            It isn’t until the 200 free starts that he even remembers how Makoto’s free looked during their joint practice at the beginning of the week.  His eyes widen when he sees that Makoto is in the lane next to Haru.  He knows exactly what’s going on.  A distinct feeling of jealousy courses through his veins because this, this is _his and Haru’s thing_.

            And Makoto starts out too fast.  He’s _faster than Haru_.  “What is Makoto doing?”  He growls, not realizing he’s speaking out loud.  “Doesn’t he realize that unlike in the 100 meter races, pacing yourself is important in the 200?  If you start at full power like an idiot, you won’t last until the end!”  Which begs the question of _why isn’t he racing us both in the 100 instead_?

            But Rin already knows the answer to that.  Just like he already knows the outcome of this race.  Despite his jealousy that Makoto is intruding on his and Haru’s competitive territory, he finds himself _wanting_ Makoto to win.  His face falls as the other loses speed; he can almost _feel_ Makoto pouring his heart into this race.  It’s a race he, himself, is losing too.  Makoto’s heart is one place Rin will always come in behind Haru.

            Rin has his own race with Haru to deal with though.  And the instant the 100 free is finally called up, he forgets everything about that happened in the 200.  He forgets anything else whenever Haru is involved, and the 100 free is their race.  No one else can even come close to their speed, and when Haru touches him out it feels like a win.

            He’s forgotten about their fight, and when they both get out of the water, he’s grinning like an idiot.  “Good race, eh Haru?”

            The other fixes him with a cold stare, and Rin remembers the yelling, the knife, everything.  But then Haru’s face relaxes and he gives Rin that small almost-smile of his.  “You’re not going to say you let me win, are you?”

            They walk together toward the locker rooms to rinse off, finally back in the place they were before…whatever it was that made Haru so upset with him.  Probably bringing up Makoto.  “What, are you going to say you think I can’t beat you?”  He jokes back.  They’d both set personal bests in that race, and Haru can say whatever he wants about not caring about times; they just both might have gotten a one way ticket to the professional swimming world.

            “I guess we’ll see at regionals.”  The smile is still present on Haru’s lips, and Rin can feel his own spread even wider.  He can _tell_ Haru’s happy, even if the freestyler won’t admit it, and just seeing that makes him happy too.

            “Yeah, I guess we will,” he agrees.

            The races are done for the day, but that doesn’t mean Rin is.  The results of the 100 back are troubling.  He’d really wanted to put Uozumi in the medley relay the next day, but his backstroke time didn’t even qualify him for regionals.  Momo, however, blew almost everyone out of the water aside from Makoto.  It was impressive, to say the least.  And he’d seen how the other had started taking things more seriously too.  He had a real chance at touching Makoto out in the relay the next day, and from what he can tell, he’s their biggest challenger in the backstroke portion.

            Sousuke walks in while he’s thinking about it.  “What’s wrong?  Everyone’s waiting for you.”

            “I know.”  He looks back down at the paper.  This is the part of being captain he hates the most.

            “You can’t decide?”  Sousuke asks, demonstrating once again his ability to read Rin’s mind.  If only the link went both ways.  “Based on the individual events today,” his roommate continues, “it’s clear that Mikoshiba’s a better pick than Uozumi.”

            He knows that.  That’s the _problem_.  “I know.”  He brushes past Sousuke to deliver the bad news.  Uozumi takes it better than expected, but he can still feel the anger directed towards him from the swimmer who still probably thinks of him as the drop-out betrayer who almost abandoned the team the year before.  When he finally dismisses the team for bed, his fists are clenched and his face is set in a scowl.

            “It’s not your fault.”  Sousuke’s voice comes from right beside his ear and Rin jumps, realizing he’s been standing in front of their locked door for a full minute without even getting his keys.

            “I know that,” he snaps without meaning to.  If Sousuke were hurt, he shows no sign of it.  Rin fumbles with his keys and drops them on the ground in his haste.  “Shit.”  He reaches down to grab them but is stopped by a hand on his own.  Rin looks up and meets Sousuke’s gaze, which is suddenly much too close.  He swallows.

            “You care about the team.  They can all see it.  It doesn’t matter what they think about you.”  His voice is as smooth as silk, and Rin can feel his cheeks heat slightly.  The words themselves aren’t provocative, but Sousuke is still hovering so close to him and Rin doesn’t even think he’s blinked yet.  Too quick to be seen, a hand darts out and smooths a few strands of hair back behind Rin’s ear.  There’s a nudging on his own hand and he looks down to see Sousuke handing him his keys.

            “Ah,” he clears his throat and stands back up.  “Thanks.”

            Sousuke doesn’t appear to be affected, but Rin spends the night dreaming of piercing teal eyes and Makoto’s smooth lips on his skin.

\---

            Momo turns out to be the right choice.  He isn’t sure if he simply excels in competition or if it has to do with Makoto’s late start, but they have what they need to hold the lead by the time Sousuke takes to the blocks.  As always, when watching Sousuke or Haru, Rin can’t seem to look away.  Sousuke’s fast in the water and his butterfly is practically flawless.  That is, aside from the moment he slowed down.  Rin frowns, and he’d dwell on it if he weren’t about to race Haru.  By the time Samezuka finishes a full arms-length in front of Iwatobi, he’s already forgotten.

            The showers are full when they get in.  Everyone who participated in the relay is in there, and it reminds Rin of the joint practice at Iwatobi.  He spots Makoto in a shower by himself (Haru is already out and toweled off, not wanting to share his precious water with everyone, he has no doubt) and joins him. 

            “Hey,” he slides his hand past Makoto to reach the handle and turn up the shower temperature.  The backstroker jumps in surprise.

            “Rin!”  He exclaims when he sees him.  “You scared me!”

            “Yeah, well, showering together is our thing now, isn’t it?”  He gives Makoto a predatory look and sees the other swallow.  His cheeks are even a little pink.  “Anyway,” Rin continues, sliding under the water to rinse his hair, “I was thinking we could celebrate both our teams making it through to regionals.  You could come over tonight.”  He hadn’t thought about how to deal with Sousuke being there, but he’s sure he’ll find a way.

            Makoto gives him that apologetic smile of his.  “Sorry, Rin, I have to watch the twins tonight.  Unless you want to help?”

            It sounds horribly domestic.  Like something Makoto would invite Haru to do.  But Makoto didn’t say no and video games at the Tachibana residence is something he hasn’t done since they were little.  “Yeah, if you’re serious.”

            He swears something like happiness and shock crosses Makoto’s face.  “Really?!”

            Rin steps out of the shower letting his hand trail across the other’s stomach.  He fixes the other with a look that he hopes clearly states _I also expect us to hold to our deal_.  “Yes, really.  I’ll head over once I get the team loaded on the bus.”

            He can feel Makoto staring after him, so he makes sure the towel he grabs smacks him straight on the ass when flips it over his shoulder.  He turns around to see the other slack jawed and still staring and can’t help but smirk.  “See you in a bit, Makoto.”  He waves as he walks out.

 


	9. Watercolor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Domestic bliss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to all you people commenting, kudo-ing, and bookmarking this fic. I love you guys.
> 
> Sorry this was late. I wasn't happy with the chapter to I slept on it last night and re-edited it today. If any of the wording seems strange to you, let me know and I can fix it. Also note: Next Monday is labor day and I will be out of town (away from my computer) starting Thursday night. This means you shouldn't expect an update next week. I will be back in full force after that, however. :) Enjoy!

            Makoto isn’t sure what to expect when Rin shows up on his doorstep.  Ren and Ran scream when they hear the doorbell and run to answer it, leaving Makoto to walk slowly after them.  Rin’s standing there with his swim bag slung over his shoulder and his hair in a ponytail smiling at the twins as they jump all over him.  For a second, Makoto is surprised to see that Rin is good with kids, but then he remembers that he has a little sister.

            He chuckles a little when they ask why Haru didn’t come instead and Rin pretends to be offended.  “Oy, Makoto.  Why’ve you been letting Mr. Mackerel watch your siblings?”  Makoto can already tell that ‘Mr. Mackerel’ is going to be a term the twins will never let go.  He wonders if Rin did that on purpose.

            “Come on in,” he invites instead.  “Ren, Ran, let him get his shoes off and put his stuff down.”

            “But then we can attack him, right Mako-oniichan?”

            “We can, we can!  You didn’t say we couldn’t so we can!”

            They, of course, do just that once Rin takes off his shoes and sets his bag and jacket down.  Makoto watches the rest of the night as his siblings jump all over Rin and bombard him with questions and demands for attention.  The redhead doesn’t deal with it with the same quiet patience that Haru does, nor does he give them the doting attention Makoto himself gives them.  Rin’s methods are different, that’s for certain, and he talks to them the same way he does with people his age (minus the cussing, thankfully).  They seem to like that, taking to Rin almost immediately and calling him ‘Rin-oniichan’ within the first few minutes.

            The twins whine when Makoto sends them to bed, but Rin just hoists them over his shoulder and carries them off.  This, of course, backfires when they run screaming around the house to avoid him, and he has to do it a few more times.  When they finally give up and lie pouting in their beds, they demand Rin be the one to tell them a story.  Makoto leaves to clean up and comes back to hear him giving them a soft lecture (similar to one he would give his team) about why getting a full, regular night’s sleep every night is important.  He leans against the doorframe and watches.

            “If you want to grow taller than even Makoto then you have to sleep.”  Rin’s voice is soft and calming as he speaks to Ren and Ran.  “And if you want to be stronger than me, you should always rest after you’ve pushed yourself.  Otherwise you’ll be sore right here,” he pokes them both in their shoulders, and the twins giggle.  Rin stands up and walks to the door.  “Sleep now, alright?”

            “Goodnight, Rin-oniichan.  Goodnight, Mako-oniichan.”

            Once they turn out the light and close the door, Rin sighs and rubs the back of his neck tiredly, drawing Makoto’s attention to the skin there.  “You must have the patience of a saint, Makoto.  They wear me out.”  He remarks as he walks over to the entry way and grabs his bag, taking it to Makoto’s room.

            “Are you staying the night?”

            Rin doesn’t even turn around.  “Don’t be ridiculous, Makoto.  I’m not going back in the middle of the night.”

            “It’s not the mid –“

            This time, Rin does turn and look at him, and Makoto swallows.  “Don’t think I haven’t seen you staring at me all night.  I know you want me.”

            He wants to deny it.  He wants to tell Rin that he’s _wrong_ ; he wasn’t staring and he definitely wasn’t thinking about how to show Rin _exactly_ how highly he thinks about his ability to relate to his siblings.  But Rin beats him to the punch.

            Makoto barely closes the door before he hears the thunk of Rin’s bag hitting the ground and feels himself spun around and shoved down on his back.  He hits the mattress with Rin already on top of him, giving him that seductive grin he now knows so well.

            “I can see it on your face right now.”

            He’s going to deny it this time, he really is, but the instant he opens his mouth, Rin’s tongue is invading it and Makoto’s brain malfunctions.  You’d think he’d be used to it by now, but something about Rin is so unpredictably predictable, that he just can’t seem to.  He’s so invested in the kiss, he doesn’t notice the other’s hand has been making its way down his body until he feels it above his boxers.  When did it even get down his pants?

            “Rin,” Makoto tears away from the kiss worriedly.  “What are you doing?”  Wasn’t he going to wait?  Weren’t they both?

            “Shh.  I’m just getting you off.  Nothing more.”  It’s as if Rin can read his mind.  “We can do it like before if you’d rather.”

            The words actually soothe him, and Makoto grabs Rin’s wrist before he can remove his hand.  “No.  It’s ok.”  A month ago he wouldn’t have dared to even think about this, but now here he is, not even blushing at the prospect of another man pleasuring him.  “But the twins…”

            A smirk plays across Rin’s face, and the not-blushing thought is tossed out the window as Makoto turns a light red.  “Do you need a gag?”

            The red darkens.  “Ri-!”

            Luckily for both of them, Rin silences Makoto with his mouth once more.  Unluckily for them, Rin also chooses that moment to start stroking Makoto.  He doesn’t even know he’s making noise until the other breaks away with a glare.  “I really will gag you if you can’t be quiet, you know.  I _just_ put them to sleep.”

            He looks so cute pouting and complaining that Makoto lets out a chuckle.  There’s a rustle as Rin tears off his shirt, and the next thing he knows it’s in his mouth.  He looks up at Rin in wide eyed surprise.

            “Tch,” Rin looks away, his ears red.  “As if I didn’t warn you.  Don’t give me the puppy-eyes.”

            Makoto would like to deny that too, but then he’s being stroked again and Rin’s attacking his neck with his lips.  If it weren’t so enjoyable, he would call out the redhead for interrupting him and his thoughts all the time.  Instead, he relishes the feeling of Rin’s mouth on his neck and chest and his hand moving against his…he can’t even think the name.  He’s glad Rin decided to gag him, because it turns out he’s unable to hold back little groans of pleasure when the other hits just the right speed or brushes his thumb across the tip as light as a feather.  For the first time in his life, Makoto wishes he’d enjoyed himself when doing this on his own rather than just trying to get off as quickly as possible, because then this could last longer.

            As it is, he finishes in about the same time it took them in the shower at the joint practice.  Maybe even less.  When he comes down from his high, he looks up at Rin apologetically.  “I’m sorry…I can…”  He offers, but Rin just shakes his head.

            “I have two hands,” the redhead says bluntly, showing Makoto his other one which is dirtied as well.  Rin pushes himself off the bed.  “Bathroom’s down the hall, right?”

            “Um, yes.  I’ll come too…”

            Rin shakes his head.  “Stay there, I’ll bring back a cloth for you.”

            Makoto falls back against his pillow.  He wonders if he’s supposed to feel guilty still, like he did the first time they kissed.  He’s in love with Haru, after all, and Haru’s in love with Rin.  Who’s Rin in love with?  Is he even in love with anyone?  Makoto remembers the comment about _waiting for someone special_.  He wonders if Rin has a special someone in mind or if he’s holding out for a man he hasn’t even met.  Somehow, he thinks it’s the first one.

            He’s jerked from his thoughts by a flying towel hitting him in the face.  “You know, I want my shirt washed before you give it back.”  Rin’s shirtless and clean looking.  He closes the door and crawls back onto the bed, picking up the offending article of clothing that Makoto had already spit out onto the mattress.  Makoto sits up to clean himself as Rin tosses it with incredible precision into the dirty clothes hamper.

            He tosses the now dirty towel into the hamper as well and pulls up his boxers, kicking his pants off onto the floor.  “You’re the one who gagged me with it in the first place,” he says before he can stop himself.

            “Did Makoto Tachibana just talk back to me?”

            “What?  No...I mean…I was just stating a fact…I didn’t mean to be rude…I’m sorry if I was…”

            “I’m kidding, Makoto.”  He can practically hear the smile in the other’s voice.  Makoto turns over to look at Rin.  “I like when you’re honest.  You shouldn’t let people walk over you all the time.”  He rolls over before Makoto can respond.  “I’m beat from the relay.  Turn out the light will you?”  Makoto does as he’s asked and wraps himself around Rin.  The butterflier doesn’t protest, so he pulls the sheet over them and gets comfortable.

            “Makoto.”  He can barely hear Rin’s mumble, it’s so muffled against the pillow.  “I’m really glad to be here.  That we’re friends again.”

            It’s something he’s been thinking since the redhead replaced his frown with a smile and threw his arms around Haru at the relay last year.  Even with Rei’s addition, not having Rin in the group was like missing an important center piece in a puzzle.  It’s worth all the jealousy and mixed up feelings Makoto has, just to see Haru smile again like he only can with Rin. 

            “I’ll always be your friend, Rin,” he breathes softly against the other’s neck.  “Always.”

\---

            Makoto wakes up in the morning to a cold bed.  For a moment, he wonders if he dreamed Rin coming over and staying with him, but the Samezuka jacket and swim bag on the floor confirm he didn’t.  He hears noises coming from the kitchen and rolls out of bed, throwing on some pants, to investigate.

            Rin’s sitting at the table talking with his parents and siblings as if this were an everyday occurrence.  “We were surprised to hear from Ren and Ran that you were the friend who stayed over last night, instead of Haruka,” his mom’s saying.  Makoto pauses just outside the door, not wanting to interrupt just yet.

            “Well I haven’t been here for a while, and Makoto and I are catching up since we haven’t had a real chance to yet.”  Makoto’s struck by how mature Rin sounds when he speaks with his parents.  Sometimes he forgets that Rin can speak with adults properly.

            “I understand you’re attending Samezuka?  They have a good swim program if I remember correctly.  Makoto mentioned something about you swimming for their team?”

            Ren and Ran are apparently fighting over something, because they have to be hushed before Rin can answer.  “I am, yes.  I was actually made captain this year, which was an honor.  It’s not the same as swimming with Makoto and Haru, but the team is still a good group of guys.”

            “Are you planning to continue after high school?”  Makoto is surprised to hear his dad’s voice.

            Makoto’s mother looks up and meets his eyes, smiling.  He smiles back and steps forward, slipping into the seat next to Rin.  He already knows the answer, but he wants to hear it from the other anyway.  “If I get recruited.  My goal is still to swim professionally, so I would hope to start in a university.”  The answer is exactly what he expected.

            He grabs some food and starts to eat as his family continues to interrogate Rin.  The redhead shifts his weight and nudges his shoulder in a way Makoto knows is anything but coincidental.  He adjusts his feet under the table so his leg is pressed against Rin’s, making the other stutter for a moment in answering his father’s next question.  It’s adorable.  He’d never thought he’d see Rin as adorable, but really it’s the best way to describe some of the things he does.

            His parents take Ren and Ran out to the stores after breakfast, leaving Rin and Makoto to clean up.  They have a system going: Rin washes the dishes then hands them to Makoto to dry and put away.  It moves pretty fast, and it’s one of the more enjoyable clean-ups he’s had to do.

            “Ai texted me this morning,” Rin says casually, and Makoto realizes whatever he’s going to say next is anything but.  “He said I’ve already been getting calls from scouts.  Apparently they’ve been coming in since before the end of the meet yesterday.”

            He can tell Rin’s practically bursting with happiness from this, even though he’s trying to hold it in.  “Wow, Rin.  Congratulations!”  He smiles at the other in what he hopes is an encouraging way.

            Rin makes a strange noise and throws his arms around Makoto’s neck.  It takes his by surprise, but he wraps his arms around Rin’s body after a beat.  “Don’t tell anyone yet.”  The words are muffled by his shirt.  “I don’t want to jinx it.”

            “I won’t.  I promise.”  _Not even Haru_ , he thinks, but that’s more because he doesn’t want Haru to know how much time he’s been spending with Rin lately.

            They play video games the rest of the day and talk about their siblings, swimming, school, and Makoto’s new dream of being an elementary school teacher.  (“You might want to try coaching some younger kids before you make up your mind, Makoto.  Kids can be snotty brats sometimes, no matter how much you want to like them.”  “It was just a thought, Rin, I hadn’t made up my mind yet.”)  Soon it’s getting close to dinner time, and Rin has to leave.  He wants the redhead to stay; Rin has a way about him that makes Makoto want to spend more time with him and get to know him better.  But they have school tomorrow, so Makoto doesn’t stop him.

            “I’ll call you this week,” Rin says as he kicks his shoes on.  Makoto’s family isn’t back yet, but he’s sure the twins will be upset to find out ‘Rin-oniichan’ left without saying goodbye.

            “Don’t strain yourself.”  Makoto looks down at Rin’s shoes, seeing how beaten up they are with all the work he’s been doing for his swimming.  “Training’s more important, and you have those scouts looking at you now.”

            “Makoto.”  Rin cups his chin gently, forcing Makoto to meet his eyes.  He’s already taller than the redhead, but he’s standing a step up making the height difference more pronounced.  “I’ll be fine.  Don’t worry.”

            The goodbye kiss Rin gives him is different than their usual heated ones.  It’s slow and sweet and doesn’t lead to anything further except Rin breaking away and throwing his bag over his shoulder.

            “See you, Makoto.”  Rin waves as he leaves.  It isn’t until Makoto makes his way back to his room after dinner that night that he realizes Rin left his jacket there.


	10. Enjoy the Ride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And here...we...go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh god, I cannot wait to read your comments.
> 
> PS I'm back from vacation.

            They end up meeting a lot the next week, surprisingly.  Rin would text him after practices saying something like _I’m going for a run at the beach_ or _meet me by the train station_ and Makoto would excuse himself from whatever he was doing and run over to meet Rin.  They weren’t together for more than a half an hour at a time.  At the most.

            Makoto had never thought of himself as being into the rush of sex in public, but something about the potential of getting caught makes it…hot.  He blushes just thinking something so improper. 

            But they haven’t gotten caught, and technically they aren’t even having sex.  They exchange pleasantries, make out for a while, get each other off, then Rin’s on his way.  Most of the ‘getting to know each other’ part happens over text.

            _How was practice?_   He asks Rin after they meet at the train station on Monday.  He hasn’t even given him enough time to get back to Samezuka, so he doesn’t expect to hear anything.

            The response is almost immediate.  _You just saw me, and practice was the same as usual._   He can almost hear Rin’s amusement in the comma.  A second text arrives almost an instant later.  _The train ride sucks.  Some old man is glaring at me._   Then a third.  _You should come with next time._

            Makoto flushes when he reads the third one.  _Friday._   He promises.

            They can’t meet up on Tuesday or Wednesday, but he and Rin text each other between classes, during lunch period, before and after practice, and all the way up until they fall asleep. 

            He likes talking to Rin, even though it’s not really talking.  Haru is great, wonderful, perfect even, but he doesn’t say a lot.  He and Makoto spend a lot of their time together in a comfortable silence.  This constant communication with actual words is something of a nice change from that.  Even though he would never trade what he has with Haru for the world.  (He would trade it for Haru to fall in love with him, though.  But he knows that will never happen, so he doesn’t think about it.)

            Thursday, he meets Rin on the beach after practice.  It’s the incredibly risky.  They head over to where there are mostly rocks and not a lot of people, and Rin says he wants to try something different.  He uses his mouth on Makoto for the first time with a skill that forces a makeshift gag to be put to use again.  When Rin finishes him off, Makoto collapses to the sand (he doesn’t know how he was able to stay upright the whole time in the first place; Rin must’ve held him up) and doesn’t move for a while.  Finally, Rin has to go and leaves with a kiss and a “are you sure you don’t want me to stay a little longer?” that Makoto waves off.

            He still has to lie there on the sand for a while afterwards.  It isn’t until Haru calls him (actually calls him) that he remembers they’re supposed to hang out and play video games that night.

            Haru’s already at his house playing with the twins when he walks in, probably looking like he was just lying in the sand for an hour.  Which he was.  Haru gives him an expressionless look as the twins jump all over him.  “Mako-onii!”  They yell, moving to latch themselves to Makoto instead.  “Where’s Rin-onii?  We want to play with him again!”

            Haru’s expression changes minutely, and Makoto peels the twins off him.  “You two have homework to do.”

            “Aw, but we want to play with you two!”  Ren complains.

            “I want to sit in Mr. Mackerel’s lap,” Ran adds.  From Haru’s face, it’s clear this isn’t the first time he’d been called that today.  Makoto makes a mental note to scold Rin later for teaching them that.

            “After homework,” he promises, and they run off.

            He and Haru go to his room to play games.  (Haru and Rin were of the same mind: Makoto was spending far too much time on school work lately.  He would find it amusing if they both weren’t so good at distracting him.)  Haru doesn’t bring up what the twins said earlier, and Makoto thinks he might be in the clear, but then he sees it.  Sitting on his bed.  “Is that Rin’s jacket?”  Haru asks.  His voice is a monotone, but Makoto has spent years getting to know him.

            He wants to play it off like it was nothing, but the memory of _why_ exactly it was on his bed instead of being on the floor where Rin left it makes him blush, and Makoto has to turn away.  (Rin’s constant attention had made Makoto accustomed to having certain needs fulfilled, and two days without it was difficult.  He barely had to sniff the jacket to finish himself off, and even though he’s sure Rin would find it nothing but amusing, it’s on his list of things he will absolutely _never_ tell anyone ever.)

            Makoto is nothing if not honest though, even if he is keeping the main truth from Haru.  (As well as most of the details.)  “He left it here when he stayed over after the relay.  He wanted to play video games.”  He supposes the last part is true as well.  They did play video games.

            “I’m glad you’re friends again,” Haru says, and Makoto detects nothing but honesty in his voice.

            Makoto smiles softly.  “Yeah, me too.”  They _are_ friends again.  He knows what Rin’s eaten for every meal so far this week.  He knows about the subjects he’s enjoying studying and how far he and Sousuke run every morning.  As far as Rin’s concerned, that’s his whole life right now, and Makoto’s honored to be let in even just that much.

            The game boots up as his phone buzzes.  He checks it to see a text from Rin.  _You ok?_   The concern is sweet.  He knows that if Rin didn’t have his own responsibilities, he would’ve stayed to make sure Makoto was ok in person.  He’s fine now; Rin’s mouth had just been really amazing.  Makoto decides to return the favor tomorrow.

            _I’m fine now.  Playing video games with Haru._

            It takes hardly a second for a response to fly back.  _I won’t disturb you then.  We still on for tomorrow?_

            “Makoto,” Haru says as he’s trying to think of a response other than _yes_ , “are you going to play or are you going to text?”  He only sounds mildly irritated, but it makes Makoto laugh.  He shoots Rin just the confirmation and sets his phone aside for the rest of the night.

            “Alright, Haru.”

\---

            Rin texts him when he’s on the train.  _Sousuke’s out_.  No explanation of how long he’d be gone or why, but Makoto knows exactly what that means.  It means they can spend time in Rin’s room.  The whole time in Rin’s room, most likely.  The more time they spend around each other, the less Makoto can control himself.  It’s incredibly distracting.  Where he would ordinarily have been daydreaming of Haru, he found himself thinking about Rin.  In class, in bed, in the pool…

            He has to shake his head just to stop himself from getting hard on the train.

            Rin’s already at the gate when he gets there.  He’s looking down at his phone, texting someone (not him) and hasn’t seen Makoto yet.  Makoto stops.  The way Rin’s leaning so casually against the fence (one foot on the ground, the other resting on the support behind him, his head down, but his shoulders still square) is breath taking.  A few girls walking by on their way to meet their boyfriends or something stop and stare.  One of them takes a picture with her phone.  A breeze kicks up and lightly ruffles Rin’s hair, and Makoto’s breath catches.

            Why couldn’t he have fallen for Rin?  Things would’ve been so much easier then.  They were already practically sleeping together, so Rin must at least like him a little.  He might’ve been more successful in making Rin fall for him than Haru.

            The swimmer in question looks up and smiles, forcing Makoto to shake himself from his useless thoughts.  “Hey, Makoto!”  Rin pushes himself from the fence and walks over.  “How long have you been standing there?”

            If he were anyone but Makoto Tachibana, he would’ve said something cool like _oh not long_ or _I just got here_.  Except he is Makoto Tachibana, and he’s already learned that he can barely control what he says around Rin.  “Um a few minutes ago.”

            Rin raises his eyebrows in amusement.  “And you just stood there?”  He shakes his head, still not looking angry or upset or anything negative at all actually, when Makoto doesn’t respond.  “Come on.  People are staring.”

            “What people?”  Makoto looks around.  Those girls from earlier are openly watching the two of them.  Rin glares at them, and they leave.  “Oh.  No, I think they were just looking at you.”

            “Me?”  Rin laughs as he leads Makoto down the now slightly more familiar path to his dorm.  “You’re the one who’s Mister Tall-Sweet-and-Handsome.”

            He blushes, glad that Rin’s in front of him and can’t read his reaction.  Haru would’ve caught on in a second.  “I actually saw one of them take a picture of you while you were just standing there.”

            “Yeah right.”

            “No really, I did!”

            Rin waves his hand dismissively.  “Sure, sure.  Whatever you say Makoto.”

            “I did,” he whines, and Rin chuckles.

            Makoto almost falls over from how his…lower region twitches.  Rin’s room is too far away from the main gate, he decides.

            They finally make it, and Makoto hardly waits for Rin to lock the door behind them before he’s on him.  He goes directly for the pulse point on the other’s neck, because he knows Rin likes that and, _oh_ , Rin’s hands are fumbling at his belt, which is so close but not close enough, and –

            “Makoto, are you hard already?”  Rin breathes out in disbelief and a little bit of pleasure.

            He’s waited too long to have Rin’s hands and mouth all over him, and he can _tell_ by the tone in his voice that Rin is planning to make him suffer even longer.  Makoto growls low and feral like he’s never done before, and pulls Rin to the bed, forcing him to sit down with his legs spread wide.

            He kneels on the floor before him and starts tugging off Rin’s pants.  The redhead looks down on him wide-eyed.  “Makoto, what are yo-?”

            “I’m going to do something.”  He can’t hear it in his own voice, but he sees it in Rin’s eyes.  Something about those five words makes the butterflier’s pupils blow wide and he nods silently.

            Makoto takes a deep breath and stares at the now tented boxers before him.  He closes his eyes a moment, recalling exactly what Rin had done to him.  Satisfied he could recreate it, Makoto opens his eyes and looks up at the other before pulling the boxers down.

* * *

 

            Physical therapy went by faster today than normal.  Sousuke was originally planning on being gone all night and staying with family at home, but the doctor told him that he was making “vast improvements” and only gave him a few new exercises to take with him.  He could still go home to his family, but the memory of how Rin looked when he handed him his keys was haunting his thoughts. 

            He’d thought Rin was far removed from his reach, taken by Nanase.  Now, he wasn’t so sure.  The bruise he’d seen on Rin’s skin before only vaguely resembled a bite mark; it could’ve been caused by anything.  And Nanase’s reaction to him was nothing more than he’d expect from a guy like him.  No, if Rin were dating someone he would know.  Sure he’d been on his phone a lot lately, but Rin’s always on his phone.  He checks the tweets, news, and training blogs of all the major famous swimmers like a religion.  It’s kind of cute actually.

            Sousuke still hasn’t told Rin about his shoulder.  He knows Rin will make a bigger deal out of it than it is.  He’d just been using his upper body more than his core during his training last season and had tweaked it.  But it’s getting better, and the university he’s attending after graduation already knows about it and approved of the doctor he’s visiting.

            He’ll tell Rin after Nationals.  Then they can laugh about it together.  Maybe even over a romantic candlelit dinner.  Rin’s into romantic crap like that.  He’d probably love it.

            Sousuke stares out the train window as the scenery whooshes by.  He knows the university he’ll be swimming for contacted Rin too.  He wonders if he’ll take it.  That would be something, wouldn’t it?  To be teammates again, twice, after all these years of claiming to be _better as rivals_ or some shit like that.  They’d room together, that much is a given.  He and Rin are incredibly compatible as roommates.  They train together, eat together, study together, and haven’t gotten sick of each other yet.  He bets they’d be compatible in bed too.

            He gets off the train and shoves his hands into his pockets as he walks back to Samezuka.

            Rin probably hasn’t eaten dinner yet.  It’s a Friday, so he either started on his homework before the weekend, or he’s watching a movie while he does extra sit ups.  They’ll have dinner together and in the morning they’ll go for a run and Sousuke will ask Rin if he’s ever thought about the idea of them getting together.  If Rin says no, he’ll shrug it off like it was just a thought, and Rin will never have to know.  If he says yes, well…that’s what Sousuke’s hoping he’ll say.

            It’s a good plan.  Solid.  He doesn’t blush like Rin does, so he doesn’t have to worry about being embarrassed.  And if Rin does blush, then Sousuke will just file that away in his endless scrapbook of the things he loves about Rin.

            In fact, he thinks as he grabs his keys to unlock his door, it’s such a flawless plan, he’s surprised he never thought of it before.  There really doesn’t seem to be anything about it that would cause their friendship to end because of Sousuke’s feelings.

            He holds this thought in his head as he walks into their shared room and closes the door behind him.  “Hey Ri–“

            He freezes as he looks up at the scene before him.  He should’ve noticed it right away from the smells and soft sounds of sex, but he didn’t expect to see this.  Rin is naked from the waist down, reclining on his own bed while he’s getting sucked off by another guy.  His head is thrown back in pure ecstasy as he’s driving his hips into the other’s mouth.  But the man with his lips around Rin’s ( _his_ Rin’s) dick isn’t Nanase, like he’d expect.  It’s Tachibana.

            Tachibana is the first to notice the intruder.  He looks up, his expression one of lust filled anger at first.  Then he blinks and the expression changes into one of pure mortification.  He releases his mouth from around Rin as his face turns an impressive shade of red.

            “Mako– wha– why –?”  Rin’s breathing is labored as he sits up and looks at the other.  The blow job must be really good, because it takes him a moment to realize that Tachibana isn’t looking at him.  Rin slowly turns to meet Sousuke’s gaze.  His eyes widen and his mouth opens in a perfect O at the same time his hips jerk up and he comes, messily, all over Tachibana’s face.


	11. Earthquake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Picking up immediately where we left off: Sousuke's reaction to catching Makoto and Rin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this was late. I had one hell of a week at work. I was exhausted every day. I'm hoping to still get the next chapter up for you all tomorrow, but we shall see about that one.
> 
> On a side note: I am going with the popular pairing, which does mean a couple of our boys are not getting what they want. SO I've decided to make a sequel. The pairing is decided, and it will occur during their first year at college. More details to come on that one as we get closer. I expect...maybe five more chapters of this? Maybe more. I'm not sure. We still haven't hit regionals and then everything will lead up to nationals, *gasp*, just like the anime did. The reason it would be a sequel is because I like Sousuke being only mildly, healably, injured. And because I said so.
> 
> On a side side note: how about Australia, huh? That episode made the MakoHaru ship sink like the Titanic, damn.
> 
> Enjoy! See you for the next chapter, which WILL be out before the next episode or you can...egg my car or something I don't know.

            Sousuke has never been harder in his life.  His gaze is still leveled with Rin’s as his roommate finally registers exactly what had just happened.  Rin’s face slowly turns a brighter red than even Tachibana’s, and he opens and closes his mouth like he doesn’t quite know what to say.  He probably doesn’t.  His pupils are still blown wide, his hair disheveled in exactly the way Sousuke dreamed it would be at moments like this.  He needs to get out of here before either of them notice his problem.  The problem that gets a lot bigger seconds later, when Rin finally finds his voice.

            “Sou–“

            “I have to go,” he cuts Rin off with a grunt and leaves the room.  He makes sure to lock the door behind him, only to realize instantly that he left his shoes inside.  “Shit,” he mutters to himself.  But it’s too late, and he’s not going back in there.

            He practically races away to the pool locker room, shoes or no shoes, because if he waits any longer, he’s going to blow his load into his pants and embarrass himself in the middle of the hall.  It hardly matters that no one is here tonight.  Given his luck in the past five minutes, someone would be bound to appear at the exact moment he climaxes screaming Rin’s name.

            As it is, he barely makes it to the showers before he pulls himself from his pants and comes all over his hand.  The way Rin looked when he’d come on Tachibana, the look Sousuke had dreamed about seeing ever since he’d hit puberty, would fuel his private moments for a long _long_ time.  It takes him a moment to calm down, but when he does, the reality of it all finally seeps in.

            Sousuke presses his clean hand to his face and sinks to the floor.  He wonders if he’s going to cry.  That would be quite the turn of events.  He’s spent so long trying to help Rin achieve his dream, not telling Rin about his shoulder, participating in a relay, just so Rin wouldn’t cry.  And now here he is, crouched on the floor in the stall of the one shitty shower the swimmers never use, feeling lost and alone because something he had predicted would happen finally came true.  Not getting all the details right doesn’t make it hurt any less.

            He hits his head against the wall behind him, staring at the failure of a showerhead.  The image plays over again in his mind, but this time he doesn’t feel aroused.  He just feels…alone.

            Tachibana.  Makoto Tachibana.  Sousuke had been so sure the tall, polite backstroker was into Nanase.  According to Rin they spent all their time together.  Rin almost always sounded jealous when he talked about it.  Before, Sousuke had thought it was because Rin was in love with Nanase.  Now he thinks it’s because Rin’s in love with Tachibana.

            But it doesn’t really matter, does it?  Nanase, Tachibana, the moon.  Rin could be in love with all of them, and the fact still remains: none of them were him.

            He has to get out of the damn shower stall before he does something cliché and pathetic, like turn it on while he’s still clothed.  Sousuke tucks himself back into his pants and gets up to wash his hands.  He washes them three times, with soap, and splashes his face for good measure.  Despite his tendonitis, he’s considering throwing on his suit and taking a few laps.  He left it in his locker down here.  It would kill time and help him clear his head.

            Of course, those two things actually sound _good_ for him, so he decides against it, walking out to the pool to just stare at the water instead.

            He hears it before he sees it.  As it turns out, the universe doesn’t even want him to mope in peace.  He has to interrupt on someone actually swimming.  Sousuke frowns at the pool, watching.  It’s Nitori, Rin’s old roommate, and his breaststroke form is awful.  He seems to be sprinting 100s repeatedly.  Sousuke shakes his head.  Only Rin can pull off something as taxing as that.  But that’s because Rin spent years perfecting his form, so he can afford to do things like this now.

            Sousuke makes his way over to the edge of the pool and crouches down as Nitori approaches.  He barely waits for the other to pop out of the water before beginning his lecture.  “Your form is terrible.  If you keep going like this, you’re going to hurt yourself.”  He keeps his normal, passive face on.  This isn’t Rin, after all.  And only Rin is allowed to see Sousuke have emotions.

            “Yamazaki-senpai!”  The other exclaims, obnoxiously polite.  Or perhaps it just seems obnoxious because Rin’s using their room to get fucked by someone else.  He shakes his head, trying to clear the depressing thought.  It doesn’t work.

            “Swimming non-stop like this is not the way to get better,” he informs the breaststroker firmly.  Perhaps more so than the situation deems as necessary.  “You need to focus on your form, not just put in meter after meter.”  He should know.  Sousuke rubs his shoulder absently.

            Nitori tilts his head at him.  “Senpai?”  The look he gives Sousuke is far too knowing, and he has to remind himself that Nitori lived with Rin last year.  He probably knows what’s going on already.

            He clears his throat.  “It’s the only way to get better.”  He sighs.  He wants to just sit and soak in his misery, but it’s clear Nitori isn’t leaving the pool any time soon, and there’s nowhere else for him to go unless he wants to take the train all the way home and explain to his parents why he’s showing up on their stoop after he’d just told them he wasn’t coming home this weekend.  “I’ll observe you and help you correct your form,” he decides.  Not that there was really much of a choice.

            The other smiles sweetly at him and snaps his goggles into place.  It’s a move so obviously taken from Rin that it makes Sousuke wonder just how many hearts his best friend has broken without even knowing it.

            He guesses there’s at least two.

* * *

 

            Rin stares open mouthed at the door even long after Sousuke walks out and locks it behind him.  He doesn’t blink or register his surroundings until a whimper comes from the floor where Makoto is still seated.  Rin looks down, seeing Makoto staring at him in horror.  The backstroker looks like he’s going to cry.  There are tears in his eyes and everything.

            Rin instantly forgets his own discomfort.

            “Oh, Makoto…”  He leans down and takes a bit of his sheet, wiping off the other’s face gently.  He pushes Makoto’s hair back as he cleans all of his own semen out of it and off the other’s cheeks and forehead.

            “I’m sorry, Rin, I should’ve…”  Makoto trails off, probably unsure of what he’s apologizing for.

            Rin leans in and presses his lips softly against the backstroker’s before he can come up with something he thinks he did wrong.  “Don’t apologize.  It’s not your fault.”

            “But…Sousuke…”

            “Sousuke was bound to find out eventually,” Rin states matter-of-factly, standing up and pulling the sheets off his bed to toss in the laundry.  He can feel the other’s stare on him, reminding him that he is, in fact, naked from the waist down.  He swallows down his initial embarrassment because this is _Makoto_ , and this thing is just supposed to be casual anyway, so he shouldn’t have a reason to be embarrassed.  “Don’t worry about it.  I’ll talk to him.”

            That phrase had gotten him in trouble recently though with Haru.  And Sousuke and Haru weren’t all that different with their overreactions to things relating to Rin.  Jesus, Haru had even quit swimming for him because he thought Rin hated him.

            “Rin…”  Makoto starts, and Rin has to pull him up onto his sheetless bed and kiss him before he can do anything Makoto-like.

            They melt into each other almost instantly.  It takes a little longer for Rin to break through Makoto’s initial barrier, but they’ve been kissing so much lately that it’s as easy as breathing.  Rin supposes he should dive into this; explore why he’s so invested in Makoto’s lips, but he doesn’t think he’ll like the answer so he shies away from the worry and just does what feels right.

            At first, the kiss is just comforting for both of them.  It calms them down from the trauma moments earlier and reacquaints them with each other’s lips.  Rin can taste himself in Makoto’s mouth when he slips his tongue inside, and the realization doesn’t turn him away like he would think it should.  It just seems incredibly hot.

            Soon they’re not even kissing properly, just gasping against each other’s skin, as Makoto’s needs become increasingly more apparent.  Rin thinks he could go down on him, but anything similar to what had just happened is bound to make Makoto lose all interest he had gained, so he decides to just use his hand this time.  He doesn’t keep his mouth in one location as he works, instead tracing his lips and teeth around all of Makoto’s neck and chest.  The left nipple does the trick, finishing the backstroker off with a muffled moan.

            Makoto spits the corner of the pillow out of his mouth as Rin surges up to meet him in yet another kiss.  “You know we have only _one_ pillow to use tonight,” he teases, centimeters away from the other’s lips.

            “Shut up.”

            Rin would applaud Makoto for talking back to him, but his mouth is once again occupied with something far more interesting than words.

            They spend the next few hours curled up together on Rin’s still unmade bed, watching the Kung Fu movies he’d downloaded ages ago and had never gotten around to watching.  Except they weren’t _really_ watching it now either.  Rin’s distracted by Makoto’s mere presence and decides that it’s not fair he’s the only one affected.  He plants kisses along the backstroker’s collar bone until the other finally relents and they make out on Rin’s bed.

            Makoto’s threading his fingers through Rin’s hair as the credits of the second movie roll.  Rin’s lying practically on top of him, having just given him another hand job while the ending fight scene played in the background.  He closes his eyes, breathing in Makoto’s scent.  It has a faint undercurrent of chlorine, like most swimmers, but there’s something else to it that Rin can’t name, and he likes it.  It’s comforting.

            His phone is pushed into the hand resting on Makoto’s chest, interrupting his thoughts.  “You got a text.”

            “Who?”  Rin isn’t opening his eyes for just anyone, after all.

            The phone disappears a moment.  “Sousuke.”  It returns and Rin opens his eyes to take the phone, sitting up just enough so he can read the message.

            He sighs and stands up.  “Put on some clothes I have to get him.”

            “What?  Why?  Is he okay?”

            Rin hunts around for his pants.  It never seems important at the time where his clothes end up, but afterwards he’s always left scrambling.  “He claims he’s staying in Ai’s room.  I need to get him out of that disaster.  This is his room; it’s rude to kick him out.”

            “Rinrin is so caring.”  He turns around at the almost mocking tone and sees that Makoto is fucking smirking.  It’s so unfair. 

            Rin doesn’t even have a good comeback other than: “shut up _Mako-chan_ ,” which is really not good at all since it just makes Makoto laugh, and Rin has to leave the room before his blush can give him away.  “Put on clothes,” he reminds, not looking back, before he leaves.

            Rin only has to knock on Ai’s door twice before the second year answers.  “Rin-senpai!”  He exclaims, little stars practically dancing in his eyes.  They’d become friends after Rin had gotten his act together, but even with that he doesn’t think he’ll ever understand Ai’s hero worship of him.

            “Hey, Ai,” he greets casually.  “Sousuke in here?”

            “Oh, yes.”  The grey haired boy opens the door letting Rin see the disaster inside.  Apparently Momo isn’t as firm with Ai as he was, because it looks more like a tornado went through the room than a place where two people _live_.  Sousuke is sitting on the bottom bunk wearing a pair of shorts far too small for him and looking thoroughly irritated with the situation.

            “Sousuke,” Rin addresses, trying not to laugh at how ridiculous he looks.  “What are you doing?”

            The way Sousuke looks at him actually makes Rin’s smile fade.  He seems so…small, so unsure of himself.  Rin clears his throat.  “It’s your room too.”  He doesn’t want to say much more with Ai there, but he knows Sousuke will understand what he means. _We won’t do anything else while you’re in the room, please come back._

            “Is everything ok, Rin-senpai?”  Ai isn’t really known for keeping his head _out_ of Rin’s business after all.

            He smiles and pats his underclassman on the head.  “Just a miscommunication.”  He sees Sousuke sigh and stand up, grabbing his day clothes.  “Ready?”  Rin directs to his best friend.

            “I’ll return your shorts tomorrow,” Sousuke says to Ai instead of responding to Rin.  Rin frowns.

            Ai practically glows at being addressed by Sousuke.  “Oh, keep them as long as you need, Yamazaki-senpai!”  Rin wonders if the hero complex has been transferred or if Ai developed a second one just for Sousuke.  Either way, he teases his best friend about it as soon as they walk out of his room and back to their own.

            “Wow, looks like he’s in love with you, Sousuke.  What did you do?”  He jokes, lightly nudging the back of Sousuke’s knee with his own.

            But Sousuke doesn’t answer.  His grip on his own clothes just tightens and he stares at the floor.  So he is mad.

            “Tch.”  Rin grabs Sousuke’s arm and drags him down to the pool locker room, where he knows they’ll have a chance to talk in private.  He slams the door behind them and practically backs Sousuke into the wall with his glare.  “What the fuck, Sousuke?”

            If he’s upset about being manhandled into the locker room, Sousuke doesn’t show it.  He doesn’t show anything.  The guy is practically acting like Haru, and it pisses Rin off.  “So what, I like other men?”  He decides this is what Sousuke’s mad about.  “You’re my _best friend_ ; I thought you’d understand.  Or at least, be nice about it instead of getting all pissy and not talking to me.”  He stops ranting and heaves a few deep breaths.  He can really get going if he wants, but right now he doesn’t want to.  He wants Sousuke to not… _not_ look at him, dammit.

            “I’m not mad.”

            “You have a funny way of showing it.”

            “I just didn’t know you were dating someone, that’s all.”

            “Makoto?”  Rin lets out a laugh that sounds slightly bitter in his own ears.  “We’re not dating.  No, he’s in love with Haru.”

            Finally, _finally_ , Sousuke looks at him.  “What?”

            Rin leans against the lockers.  “Yeah.  We’re just…blowing off steam or whatever.  Sex friends, I guess.  But without the sex part.  Well…you know… _real_ sex.”  He has to look away before Sousuke can see his blush.

            “That’s idiotic.”

            Rin looks back at Sousuke’s blatant comment.  He wasn’t expecting that.  “What?”

            “He’s in love with someone else.  Why would you let him…do that with you?”

            The hesitation in Sousuke’s voice alerts Rin to the faint pink dusting his best friend’s cheeks.  _Cute_ …  “It was my idea.”

            “Still idiotic.”

            Rin laughs.  “Maybe.”

            And just like that, it was like nothing had happened before.  Except…  “Hey, Sousuke?  Can you…not tell anyone about what you saw?”

            Sousuke gives him a small smile and walks over, resting his elbow on Rin’s shoulder.  “Who should I tell first then?  Gou?”

            Rin colors.  “You better not be thinking of telling Gou.”

            That makes Sousuke laugh and the elbow disappears.  “Relax.  Of course I’m not going to tell Gou.  I won’t tell anyone.”

            Even though Rin knew that was the answer, he still relaxes.  It has more to do with Sousuke joking with him like normal again than the actual words though.  “Ok, let’s go back.  Makoto’s staying the night, by the way.”  He decides he doesn’t want to see Sousuke’s reaction to that and just walks out the door.

            To his credit, Makoto acts a lot less awkward than Rin expected when he and Sousuke return.  He’s dressed in his sleeping clothes, sitting on a newly made bed in a recently wiped down room (Rin will repay him for that the next time they’re alone) and he stands up before bowing to Sousuke.  “I am very sorry for what happened earlier.”

            He’s so cute like that, blushing red to his ears that Rin would kiss him if they were alone.  Of course, if they were alone he wouldn’t be bowing and apologizing to anyone.  Unless…

            Rin’s own ears turn red and he looks to the side, away from both of them.  “Yeah, sorry Sousuke.”

            Sousuke gives a characteristic shrug.  “I forgive you Tachibana.  Rin, on the other hand...”  He smirks.

            “Oh whatever!”  Rin punches him lightly in the arm earning a (hopefully) fake wince as Makoto laughs sweetly in the background.  Really the only thing missing from this scene that would make it perfect is Haru’s disapproving glare.  Rin can imagine it now; Haru sitting on the floor, making those stupid ‘Iwatobi-chan’ key chains and telling them all that they’re too loud.  He misses Haru; they haven’t hung out properly, just the two of them, since he pissed Haru off talking about Makoto.  Maybe he’ll go back with Makoto tomorrow and stop by.

            Sousuke grabs his own sleeping clothes and goes to the communal bathroom to change, leaving Rin to join Makoto back on his own bed.  “Everything ok?”  The backstroker asks him when they’re comfortably arranged under the sheet.

            “Yeah.  I think he was more upset that I didn’t tell him than anything else.”

            “Ah…”  Makoto’s breath brushes over Rin’s hair, so he readjusts himself.  There.  Now he can sleep properly.

            They don’t say anything else, because nothing else really needs to be said.  Sousuke comes back and locks up.  The three of them say their goodnights as he turns off the lights and climbs into bed.  Rin feels the exact moment Makoto drifts to sleep, but he stays awake a bit longer, staring at the bottom of Sousuke’s bunk.  He wonders if Sousuke’s reaction would’ve been different had he actually been dating Makoto.  Ah whatever.  Rin curls back into the backstroker, comforted by his even breathing and steady heartbeat.  It doesn’t really matter.


	12. One Touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Would it be like this if they were together?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know. Technically this isn't out before the season finale. However, I haven't seen it yet because I wanted to finish it first. I had the chapter written last night, but I didn't like the flow so I redid the order and completely reworked Makoto's section. I like it better now.
> 
> Next week we will finally arrive at regionals. They may not compete yet, but we will get there. I have no idea the time span between prefecs and regionals, so I kind of guessed. The same will happen between regionals and nationals.
> 
> I hope you enjoy! I love reading all your reviews. <3 Hopefully these updates can help us surive the lack of Free! after tonight. I'll be a tragic sobbing mess if any of you want to join in my misery.

            Makoto is surprised with how calm Sousuke has been acting about the whole thing.  The next morning, he actually invites Makoto to go running with them before Rin can ask.  Even Rin looks surprised.

            They have a pleasant enough run, even though Makoto can tell Sousuke doesn’t like that Rin chooses to spend the entire time next to him instead of his best friend and roommate.  It’s impressive actually.  Makoto is positive that he wouldn’t be so calm or accommodating if he walked in on Haru…like that with another guy.  He’s not sure exactly what he’d do; he might punch the guy in the groin and storm out.  More likely though he would break down.  Even the thought of it is enough to bring Makoto down into a slight depression.  Which Rin notices.

            “Makoto if you don’t watch where you’re running, you’re going to hit a tree.”

            He hears a small, not so kind snort behind him and flushes.  “Sorry, Rin.”

            He isn’t surprised when Sousuke’s attitude changes after the run.  Rin’s gone to take a shower before they leave (Makoto plans to do it after he helps Coach Sasabe today, a fact he has yet to reveal to Rin) and immediately upon him leaving the room, Sousuke’s façade drops.  _Ah_ , Makoto thinks, _so it was just an act_.  In a way, he’s relieved.  He’s not sure how he’d feel if Sousuke were more accepting of Rin’s relationships than he would be of Haru’s.

            “So,” he begins, and Makoto can already feel the dark aura rolling off him.  He just keeps a smile on his face, not wanting to show weakness.  “You’re in love with Nanase?”  Ah.  So Rin told him.  That must’ve been what they’d talked about the night before.  Makoto can’t even bring himself to be mad at Rin.  Sousuke is his best friend after all, and he would’ve told Haru everything too.  He assumes that, if Rin told Sousuke about his feelings for Haru, he probably told Sousuke this was nothing more than a ‘friends with benefits’ situation.  It explains why Sousuke was able to act natural around them before.  That or he’s an incredibly talented actor.

            “Yes.  I am.”

            “But you’re still doing this with Rin?”

            And there it was.  The slight undertone of hurt that Sousuke couldn’t quite keep from his voice.  If Makoto hadn’t been listening for it, he would’ve missed it entirely.  His heart goes out to the other in a way.  “Rin made it very clear this is just for fun.”

            Sousuke snorts at that.  _Just for fun_ , he mouths so clearly Makoto can almost hear it.  “I don’t like it.”

            “I know.”  Because he does.  But that doesn’t mean he can _stop_.  Being with Rin has turned into an addiction; the previous week had made that abundantly clear.  And even if he could, he’s not sure he wants to.

            “If you do anything to hurt him…”  Sousuke’s last words of warning sound more like defeat in Makoto’s ears, and this time his heart really _does_ go out to the other swimmer.

            “I won’t.”

            Rin comes back moments later, breaking the tension with his smile and a clap on Sousuke’s back.  He smiles and promises to come back that night because “yes, yes I know we have class tomorrow, Sousuke,” before heading back to Iwatobi with Makoto.

            “I took your advice,” Makoto says as they ride the train back.  He’d completely forgotten to tell Rin the night before, given what had happened.

            “Huh?  What advice?”

            “Remember?  When you told me to try coaching kids before I decided if I wanted to be a teacher.”

            Rin looks genuinely surprised.  “You remembered that?”  Makoto nods.  “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

            “Well…I forgot to tell you last night.  And I wanted to tell you in person, not over the phone.”

            Rin seems pleased with that response.  He smiles and reaches out, squeezing Makoto’s hand.  “Thanks.”

            He’s not really sure why Rin’s thanking him, but he doesn’t ask.  Instead they just take the train the rest of the way in silence, and Makoto waves goodbye to him when they part ways on the stairs leading to Haru’s house.

* * *

 

            The last person Haru expects to see on his doorstep a few weekends before regionals is Rin.  He just kind of stands there, wearing his apron over his clothes, and stares at him until the redhead clears his throat.  “Are you gonna invite me in or…?”

            Haru steps aside so Rin can walk in and kick off his shoes.  Which he does right before wandering off into Haru’s house without a word.  It’s just like Rin to do something like that; make himself at home without even giving a second thought to what Haru’s thinking.  “What are you doing here?”  He asks rather sharply as he follows Rin into his own house.

            “Wow, it’s nice to see you too.”  Rin’s in the kitchen, staring at the food Haru’s preparing on the stove.  “Do you seriously only eat mackerel, Haru?”

            Haru glares at him as Rin hoists himself up on the counter.  “I don’t know why you come over here if all you do is insult me.”

            “Aw, come on.”  Rin has this amused look on his face, like he expects nothing less.  It’s irritating.  (It’s cute.)

            It’s usually best to ignore people who irritate him, so Haru does that, instead focusing on frying his mackerel perfectly.  He’d added some fresh lemon today to mix it up.  He sincerely hopes he didn’t ruin a perfectly good cut of fish.

            Rin, of course, either doesn’t notice that Haru’s irritated or doesn’t care because he just keeps talking.  “You know I figured Makoto or someone probably told you already, but I got contacted by scouts after our race at prefecs.”  He pauses as if waiting for Haru to add a ‘that’s nice’ or ‘good for you Rin’.  Haru doesn’t give him the pleasure, though, so Rin continues.  “You’ve probably got several schools hounding you already too, huh?”  Another pause.  Does Rin seriously expect him to respond?  “It’d be kind of funny if the same schools ended up contacting us, since we raced each other and all.”  Haru has a bad feeling that he thinks he knows where Rin’s going with this.  “So who contacted you?”  He’s just not going to respond.  Maybe Rin will go away.  (Not that he wants that.  He just doesn’t want to talk about this with anyone.  Especially not Rin.)

            “Haru?”

            “Haru.”

            “Ha-“

            “I don’t know.”  It’s better to head him off now than let him keep going.  

            “What do you mean you _don’t know_?  How does that make any sense?”

            “I didn’t ask.”  He turns off the stove and puts the food on a single plate.  If Rin wants something to eat then he can make it himself.  Or ask.  Haru would’ve made him food if he’d asked.  Hell, Haru would go to the store right now and buy beef or pork or whatever it is Rin insists on eating these days and cook it for him.  But he isn’t going to tell Rin that.

            “So you just…what?  Ignored them?  Did nothing?”

            Actually, that’s exactly what Haru’s been doing.

            “Ignoring them might make them go away, but it won’t work on me.”

            “What do you want me to say, Rin?”

            Rin snatches the plate from Haru and holds it just out of his reach as he leads Haru away from the kitchen.  The freestyler follows him with a frown and a fight on the tip of his tongue until Rin sets down the food at Haru’s spot and sits down across from it.

            “I don’t want you to say anything, Haru.  I’m just wondering.”

            The feeling of wanting to kiss Rin hits Haru so hard he sinks down in his spot and just stares at the other.

            “Yeah, I mean I want you to swim professionally with me.  I’ve dreamed of the two of us standing side by side on the Olympic podium tons of times.  But I know it’s not your dream, so I’m not going to force it if you don’t want it.  I do want to know what you’re thinking though.”

            He can tell Rin that he doesn’t want to swim with him.  That he’s more than satisfied enough with what they’ve done so far.  That being tied to a team whose goal is to compete internationally is too constricting for someone who only wants to be free, like him.  But it’s not really all that true.  Haru doesn’t know what he wants.  Lately, there have been some days that he can’t even get into his bath tub for fear the water will reject him.  But there are also days he wakes from a nightmare of losing Rin, Makoto, himself even, because he’s too afraid to follow Rin to that international stage.

            So he can’t tell Rin any of that.  But he also can’t tell Rin that the fear he has of the future is so strong he can barely breathe sometimes.

            “I haven’t decided yet.”  It’s the easy answer.  One Rin will accept without pushing any further, while still being true.

            “You’ll tell me when you do, right?”

            Haru nods.  He has nothing more to say to Rin, so he tastes his food.  The lemon is good with the mackerel.  It makes the flavor pop nicely.  He’s going to do this more often.  It probably wouldn’t taste as good if he’d used fake lemon flavoring instead of the fresh lemon he’d bought just yesterday.  Would lime taste equally good?  Or any other citrus?

            His thoughts are interrupted by a soft pair of lips on his fingers, and Haru nearly drops his chopsticks.  Rin leans backwards almost instantly, taking the next piece of mackerel with him.  The butterflier has a soft pink blush on his cheeks and that feeling from before nearly overwhelms him again.  “Wha…?”  Haru asks when he finally finds his voice.

            “You looked like you were really enjoying the food.  I wanted to try it.”

            Rin at least has the decency to look embarrassed, but it isn’t decent at all to Haru.  Rin sits there looking to the side all blushing and bashful, not helping to banish the feeling in Haru’s heart like it’s going to beat right out of his chest.  He’s sure the other can hear it.  Haru tries to will it quieter before the other can notice.  He’s long since accepted the fact that he will probably never get over Rin.  But that doesn’t mean Rin needs to ever find out about it.

            By the time Haru’s done eating, Rin’s finally recovered, or at least his face has turned back to its normal color.  They spend the rest of the day cleaning.  Actually, _Haru_ spends the rest of the day cleaning.  Rin follows him around and distracts him by blathering on and on about nothing in particular (sometimes swimming, sometimes Sousuke, sometimes both).  He messes up things Haru’s already cleaned, so it takes the freestyler twice as long to finish as it normally would.  Haru acts irritated with him the whole time, but he’s not.

            Haru spends most of the day fighting the urge to push Rin against this wall or pull him down on that sofa, and he doesn’t even notice how much time has passed until the sun is setting.  He looks over at Rin sitting next to him on the porch eating a slice of watermelon.  He looks so calm and peaceful like that, unlike the Rin who’s always training and lives to compete.  It makes him wonder: would this be every day if they were together?

            Rin turns his head and meets Haru’s gaze with his own, smiling.  It’s not the cocky grin he gives when he’s won a race or the shy smile when he’s embarrassed by a compliment.  This smile is warm and soft like the pink sky in the background.  This smile is Haru’s favorite.  “I had fun,” Rin’s saying as he stands up.  “I can’t wait to race you at regionals.  Even if you don’t know what you’re doing after; we still have that.”

            They do have that.  And maybe even more than that, Haru thinks as he walks Rin to the door.  Swimming for a team aiming to win instead of letting him be free wouldn’t be so bad if he could do it by Rin’s side.  Rin slips on his shoes and turns to Haru, leaning in.  For a wild moment, Haru thinks he’s going to kiss him, but then Rin just pulls him into an awkward hug.  “See you.”

            Haru doesn’t wave or say goodbye; that’s not his style.  Instead he just stands there as Rin walks away, closing the door without looking back.


	13. Eyes Half Closed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The weeks leading to regionals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I lied about Kisumi. I liked his role of telling Makoto and Haru about Sousuke. Also, regionals will actually start next week. My guess is that it will be 2 chapters, but we'll see.
> 
> Enjoy! I love reading what you have to say. <3

            They meet less and less regularly as regionals gets closer.  Rin had upped his own training, as well as his team’s, and the Iwatobi team is no less dedicated.  Makoto continues to text Rin updates on his life, however, especially in regards to his volunteer coaching position at the swim club.

            _You were right_ , he sends after the first practice he coached.  Rin doesn’t respond right away, and Makoto figures he’s still lifting weights with Sousuke.  He goes back to his own homework, finishing up the next two weeks’ worth of assignments before Rin finally responds.

            _What are you talking about Makoto?  I’m not a mind reader._   Before they’d started this ill-defined friends-with-benefits thing (a name Makoto much prefers to sex friends), he would’ve thought Rin was irritated.  Now he knows Rin’s probably looking down at his phone with that half-amused smile he pretends he doesn’t have.  (He does.)

            He chuckles to himself as he sends the response, though there’s no real reason.  _Coaching children.  It was a good idea._

            This time he only has to wait half a minute for the next one.  _Oh.  Well you should’ve said that._   Then another.  _Of course I’m right._   And a third.  _I’m always right._   Finally: _So what happened?_

            Makoto takes his time, typing out the entire play-by-play in a single text, which turns into two when he goes over the character limit.  He likes that Rin sends things as he thinks them, but that’s not Makoto’s style.  When he finally finishes his message it’s three and a half texts long, describing everything from how the children called him Coach Makoto to how quickly they picked up the lessons their first day and even how concerned Makoto is about one particular student who seems terrified of the water.  He doesn’t ask Rin for advice, and Rin doesn’t offer any.  Instead he responds with _Damn.  Well I knew you’d be good at it.  He’ll come around._

            He doesn’t know how to respond to that one.  He never knows how to respond to Rin’s compliments.  Rin isn’t the type of person who just hands out ‘good jobs’ and ‘wow you’re so good at X’ to everyone he talks to.  A compliment from Rin is a serious compliment.  Almost as serious as one from Haru.  Makoto didn’t know what to say when Rin told him he was a good freestyler either.  Luckily, he’s saved from it by a second text.  _Hey I’ll be around Iwatobi tomorrow if you want to run on the beach._

            _Yes I’d like that_ , is all he has time to respond before Ran comes bursting into his room exclaiming that dinner is ready, and Makoto doesn’t check his phone again until he goes to bed.

            There are two texts, and they’re both from Rin; the last one sent almost an hour before.  _Meet me on the beach after practice_ , reads the first, and _Goodnight Makoto_ is the second.

\---

            It doesn’t take too long for Makoto to notice that Haru has been acting differently than normal.  He’s actually surprised it took as long as it did.  He blames his own distractions.  Between his personal future and Rin he hasn’t been paying as much attention to Haru as he usually does.  They’d been walking home together, and everything seemed normal, but Haru had been growing quieter and quieter as they got closer to regionals.

            The evening he plans to meet Rin at the beach, Ama-sensei announces that three more university teams have contacted the school, looking to recruit Haru.  He doesn’t even have to look over at Haru to know the other is flinching inwardly.  On the outside, he gives no reaction, simply brushing past their teacher with a semi-polite nod and heading into the showers.

            Rei and Nagisa have left early, so it’s just the two of them in there, and eventually Haru’s going to have to look at him and acknowledge his existence.  It takes what feels like forever but finally, _finally_ , Haru turns and looks Makoto in the eye.  _I don’t want to talk about it_ is written plainly across his face, even though Haru doesn’t have a different expression than normal.

            “Our relay exchanges have gotten faster,” Makoto says instead because, unlike when he’s around Rin, he can control what he says to Haru.

            What couldn’t be called a sigh from relief if done by anyone else escapes through Haru’s lips as he towels off his hair.  He’s so precious, standing there with his towel, showing his innermost thoughts to only Makoto, and it’s everything he’s ever wanted.  “Do you want to come over and do homework tonight?”  He asks suddenly.  Haru looks over at him, confusion written all over the subtle lines in his face, and Makoto backtracks.  “Or play video games or something.  Just…hang out?  We’ve been training so much, we haven’t really had a chance.”

            The reasoning seems enough to make Haru’s shoulders relax slightly, and Makoto realizes that he was right; Haru is stressed about something.  “Not tonight, Makoto,” he says as he looks away, already starting to change into his clothes.  He’s brought a dry pair of swim trunks, Makoto notices.  He’s probably planning on spending longer in the bathtub tonight than he normally does.

            “Oh.  Alright.”  Makoto turns and starts to change into his own clothes.  It isn’t until he’s almost fully dressed in his running clothes that he remembers his plans to meet Rin.  “Are you ready to go then?”

            Haru gives him a strange look as he throws his bag over his now-clothed shoulder.  “You look like you’re going to continue working out.”

            “Oh, yeah.”  Makoto looks down at what he’s wearing then back at Haru.  “I’m planning on doing an extra run today.  You don’t have to join if you don’t want.”  He wonders what Rin would have to say if he brought Haru along.  He doubts Rin would have much to say to him.  Neither would Haru.  They tend to do their own thing.  He regrets inviting Haru.  Then he feels immediately guilty for regretting it.

            “No thank you.”  Haru interrupts his thoughts as they start to derail.  He has a talent for doing that; keeping Makoto in the here and now before he can drive himself insane with the ‘what-ifs’.  He often wonders if Haru knows what he’s doing, or if it’s just coincidence.

            They walk home in silence, but Makoto doesn’t mind.  It’s comforting, walking with Haru.  They part ways in the same way as usual: with a simple goodbye and a lingering look from Makoto that Haru either can’t see or pretends he doesn’t, and Makoto drops his bag off at home.  He has to shake off questions from his parents on if he’s been eating enough to go with his new rigorous training schedule and whining complaints from Ren and Ran that they haven’t seen Haru or Rin for a while, but Makoto finally makes it to the meeting spot.

            Rin’s already there, waiting.  He doesn’t even have his phone out this time.  He’s just standing there, staring out at the waves with a strangely calm look on his face that Makoto isn’t sure he’s ever seen before.  When the butterflier turns, though, it’s like a button is flipped.  He smiles brightly at Makoto and walks over.  “Hey, I thought you forgot about me.  I almost gave up and left,” he says by way of greeting.

            Makoto winces slightly.  He _had_ forgotten for a moment.  It doesn’t seem right to tell Rin that, so he doesn’t.  “No I just had to change and drop off my school things at home.”

            “Oh right.  My bad.”  He scratches the back of his head as if embarrassed, and that bubble of guilt building in Makoto’s chest grows.  But Rin’s already started running down the strip of sand.  “Come on, before the sun sets!”  He yells back to Makoto.  The backstroker hurries to catch up and makes a mental promise to give Rin an extra good blow job once the run is over to make up for nearly forgetting about him.

\---

            Makoto can’t pretend he’s not shocked by the news about Sousuke’s shoulder.  Kisumi just says it so casually and walks away with a wave, leaving Makoto to deal with Haru’s reaction as well.  He’s not sure if Haru and Sousuke have ever talked, but Haru’s a caring person, no matter what other people think, and he can tell the other’s affected.  He wonders if Haru’s thinking about not being able to do something he loved because of an injury.

            “Let’s go,” he ushers Haru away from the club and back toward their houses.

            Rin doesn’t know, Makoto decides that night when he texts the other telling him about how he was finally able to get Hayato to swim and Rin’s response is _I knew you could do it.  I have to go to bed.  See you tomorrow_.  He tosses and turns that night, thinking about it.  If Haru were injured and didn’t tell him…no that was a bad comparison.  Makoto would be able to tell if something were wrong with Haru before the other even knew there was something wrong himself.  If Rei or Nagisa were injured and didn’t tell him, would he want someone else to break the news?  No.  That’s another bad comparison.  Rin and Sousuke are closer than that.  They _live_ together.

            He’s not going to tell Rin.  That’s the final conclusion Makoto comes to at 2 am when he’s finally able to fall asleep.  It isn’t his business to get involved, and he doesn’t think Sousuke would be too happy to find out _he_ was the one who told Rin.

            So he doesn’t.  This is the last time they meet before they are _cut off_ for regionals (Rin’s idea).  They have a nice time, actually.  Rin meets up with Makoto at the same sushi place they met to talk for lunch back before prefecturals.  He doesn’t even have to draw the no stress line for Makoto this time.

            They spend the dinner laughing and joking about their weeks.  Makoto tells him about seeing Kisumi again (“Haru _hates_ that guy.”  “Hate is a strong word, Rin.  Haru doesn’t hate anyone.”) and he conveniently doesn’t mention Kisumi going to the hospital for anything.  Rin returns with a story of Momo practicing his normal dive and losing his swim suit the moment he hit the water.  That one has them both laughing so hard, they can’t drink their water without snorting for a full five minutes.  When the check comes, Rin hands the waiter the money before Makoto can even reach for his wallet.

            “You didn’t have to do that,” he says immediately as they stand up.  His politeness is nagging at him and he digs into his wallet.  “Here, how much do I owe you?”

            Rin waves the comment away and walks out of the restaurant before Makoto can insist on paying for something.  “It’s no big deal, Makoto.  I’m happy to.  Besides, I kind of owe you for what you did on the beach last week.”

            Makoto blushes at the memory.  True to his internal promise, he’d given Rin a time so enjoyable, they’d had to hide behind the rocks when a curious passerby wandered over to see what the commotion was.  He’d threatened to use the same gagging method Rin used on him, to which Rin had turned an interesting shade of red.

            That same shade was starting to appear, though much fainter, on the butterflier’s cheeks now.  “Sorry to cut this short, but I need to get back.  I was hoping we’d be able to…you know…”

            Makoto looks around to make sure no one walking down the sidewalk past where they’re standing stops to wonder what they’re talking about.  “It’s fine, Rin.  It’s nice to just be able to see you sometimes.”  He reassures when it’s clear no one cares about two high school boys loitering.

            Rin brightens noticeably at the comment.  “It’s nice to just see you too, Makoto.”

            They walk together to the train station where Rin parts ways with a wave and a promise to text when he’s safe inside his dorm.  Makoto stands there staring at the other’s disappearing back for a while till he can no longer pretend he sees him and leaves.  It isn’t until he sends his now traditional goodnight text to Rin that he realizes what was different about the whole night.  It felt like a date.

\---

            The days between the probably-not-a-date with Rin and prefecturals pass by Makoto in a blur.  He’s so focused on getting his back start and his relay finish perfect that he loses track of the days until Gou and Ame-sensei remind the team that they will be taking a bus to the meet early so they can check out the pool.

            Rei and Nagisa bound off with a whoop (well, Nagisa bounds off with a whoop; Rei just gets dragged along) before Makoto can add anything.  He gives a sigh, knowing they wouldn’t have listened anyway, and turns to Haru.  “Ready to go home?”

            The silent Haru that he can barely read is back, he notices as they walk home.  “I’ll pick you up tomorrow?”  He asks tentatively as they reach the foot of the stairs.

            Haru gives a slight nod.  “I’ll meet you here.”  They’ve reached the part of the stairs where Makoto leaves him.  The message is clear: don’t come get me.  Makoto lowers his head in acquiescence.  Haru doesn’t even wait to see it, though; he’s already halfway to the top.

            Makoto shuffles into his house, disappearing in his room immediately to pack.  His phone buzzes almost the instant he closes his door.  It’s a message from Rin. 

            _See you at regionals._


	14. Crave You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night before regionals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh god, you guys are all going to murder me. But in my defense...you knew it was going to happen eventually.
> 
> On a side note, are you sure you don't want any SouHaru? Because they can be cute as fuck.
> 
> Hope you enjoy! The editing was a bit rushed, so if there are awkward moments or weird errors let me know.

            With how much Rin talks about it, Haru would’ve thought being scouted would be more fun.  Instead it’s terrifying.  He feels more like he’s being forced to attend math class than being allowed to swim free.  The principal of Iwatobi wants him to do well to make the school proud, the scouts want him to do well at the races so they can recruit him onto their college teams, and despite what Rin says, Haru knows he wants them to race professionally together in the future.

            There’s so much pressure on him he can barely stand.

            “…and Ama-sensei said she’d pay for a movie, and this new one came out that I want to see…Haru?”

            Haru finally looks up from where he’s sitting on the bed and notices Makoto talking to him.  He glances at the clock.  They’ve been in their shared hotel room for a little over 20 minutes, but Haru doesn’t even remember getting back to the hotel.  Makoto steps closer to him, concern etched all over his face.  “Haru, are you ok?”

            “…Yeah,” he responds finally.  “You shower first.  I’ll take a bath.”

            Makoto smiles, relief showing on his face.  “Alright,” he says as he disappears into their bathroom.  Huh.  Somehow, he’d managed to fool him.  That had been happening more and more often lately.

            Haru waits until he hears the water turn on, then waits a little longer to make sure Makoto actually got in.  He needs to get out of here.  Without a word to the other, Haru slips on his tennis shoes and sneaks out the door, closing it with a soft click behind him.

            He walks calmly towards the elevators, not wanting to seem suspicious to anyone wandering around the hallways.  He would take the stairs, but there are too many flights between himself and the outside world.  He doesn’t even look up when the elevator doors slide open.  At least not until he steps inside.  And by then it’s too late.

            The doors slide shut behind him, and he’s looking Sousuke straight in the eye.  He turns around, looking at the doors instead, but the tension in the small space is palpable.  The hotel employee even seems uncomfortable.  He practically sprints out the exit, dropping towels all over the place.  From the corner of his eye, Haru sees Sousuke make an aborted move to help pick them up but stops, pain clear on his face.

            Haru’s eyes narrow, but he waits until they’re alone again before speaking.  “Your shoulder hasn’t healed yet?”  He asks it softly enough that Sousuke could pretend he didn’t hear it.

            In the faint reflection of the floor buttons he sees Sousuke blink and look up at him in surprise.  He masks it with a look of bored irritation.  Or at least he tries to.  But Haru’s an expert in masking emotions with bored irritation, so it doesn’t work on him.  “What are you talking about?”  Sousuke asks, and Haru can detect just the slightest hint of panic in his voice.

            Since he responded, it’s Haru’s duty to be honest.  “I ran into Kisumi the other day.”  He looks up at the numbers counting down the floors until he can get out of this awkward situation.  Four to go.  “He told me.”

            This time, Sousuke can’t even disguise his emotions.  Haru notices, with a slight twist in his stomach, that this one is _fear_.  His eyes widen, but Sousuke’s expression changes almost instantly to genuine anger.  “Damn him.”

            The elevator stops on the second floor and the doors slide open, allowing Sousuke to brush past him.  “Wait,” Haru calls, not entirely sure what he wants to say.  The words _you should tell Rin_ feel wrong even in his mind.

            “Don’t worry,” Sousuke says before Haru can come up with a good substitute.  “It won’t have any effect on the match.  But,” he stops and turns his head back to the elevator, and Haru feels a thrill of fear run down his spine.  “Don’t breathe a word of this to Rin.”

            He just stares as the doors close on him once more.

* * *

 

            “Makoto,” Rin greets him, eyes wide in surprise.  “What are you doing here?  I was on my way to your room.”

            Makoto blushes at the implications in that statement, or at least what he thinks the implications _could_ be.  Rin’s a bad influence.  “Can I come in?”  The butterflier steps back and motions for Makoto to come in.  He does it gratefully, and the other closes the door behind him.  “Is Haru here?”

            Rin frowns down at Makoto as the backstroker unties his shoes and takes them off.  “I thought he was with you.  That’s why I was coming over actually.”

            “Oh.”  Makoto straightens up, hoping the hurt at those words don’t show on his face.  “Is Yamazaki here?”

            “Sousuke went off somewhere,” Rin waves passively as he walks further in the hotel room.  It’s a mirror image of his and Haru’s, which makes sense since they’re on the other side of the hotel.  His attention is drawn back to Rin when the redhead flops down on the bed Makoto assumes is his.  “What’s up?”

            “Mostly just wondering where Haru is…”  He scratches the back of his head sheepishly and takes another step toward Rin.  This is dangerous territory; they’ve been apart for a week, and Makoto thought he was doing ok.  He was.  Until he was alone in a room that smelled overwhelmingly of Rin.

            Rin raises a single eyebrow, and Makoto swallows.  “Mostly?”

            “I missed you,” he admits before he can stop himself.  The curse of being around Rin.

            The butterflier’s entire face lights up at that.  Makoto has to avert his eyes before he does something stupid like break their cut off deal the night before regionals.  “Stop that.”  Rin says it in a whisper, and the tone is so soft that Makoto has to look.

            Rin’s staring at him with a tender expression Makoto’s never seen him wear before.  His breath catches somewhere in the back of his throat, but somehow words manage to claw their way out.  “Stop what?”  He’s whispering too.

            “That.”  Rin’s hand is on his cheek, and Makoto realizes he’s been walking over to the bed the entire time.  He doesn’t think he can hold himself up much longer, so he sinks down onto the mattress beside Rin.  “We’re supposed to be resting for the meet tomorrow.”

            Those red eyes are much, much too close, and they keep getting closer.  Makoto’s no longer sure if he’s the one leaning in, or if it’s Rin, or some combination.  “I’ll be gentle,” he finds himself whispering as their lips meet.

            After a week of being separated, it takes them less than a minute to reacquaint themselves to each other.  Kissing Rin is an adventure every time, and this time it’s slow and sweet and sensual and Makoto could drown in it.  They roll so Rin’s on top of him, straddling him as he continues to play with Makoto’s lips almost lazily.  Time stands still, even as his hands stroke at the fabric of Rin’s baggy shirt, pulling it up so he can reach the waistband of his sweats.  He savors ever contour of Rin’s skin, every muscle that strains against it, reaching for his touch. 

            Their bare stomachs come in contact, alerting Makoto to the fact Rin’s been feeling him the same way.  Rin’s skin is electric where it brushes against his own, and Makoto forgets how to breathe.  As if noticing his sudden lack of response, Rin moves his lips away from Makoto’s and down to his adam’s apple.  Just the slightest brushing of Rin’s tongue against it has Makoto harder than before and aching to be touched.

            It’s a testament to how well they know each other now when Rin reaches down Makoto’s shorts to stroke him skillfully.  He knows he should return the favor, but the smell and the touch and the taste of Rin is all around him, and Makoto can’t think straight.  His mind goes blissfully blank moments later, the color behind his eyelids fading to white as he arches up one, two, three times, coming undone in Rin’s hand.

            “Beautiful,” he swears he hears just before he feels Rin’s lips capture his own once more.  He’s being kissed just as soft and slow as before, but this time it’s harder for him to keep up.  It’s too much, too fast; he’s overwhelmed.

            “Rin,” he gasps when the other releases his lips.  “Rin.”  He can feel it happening again, the color red overpowering everything else, making all the others seem grey.  “Rin.”  He can’t stop saying the other’s name.  “Ri-“ He spills over the edge again.

            Makoto feels like he could float away, disappear into this one moment, but Rin is there, tethering him to reality somehow.  Time passes, but Makoto doesn’t know how much.  There are lips on his stomach, hips, then _there_ , wrapped around the one part that needs it most.  And this time when he comes, he sees Rin’s face just before it happens, and he knows he’s not the only one getting something out of this.  It’s the last thing he thinks before everything fades to black.

            When he comes to, there are red strands of hair in his mouth and nose.  He turns his head, and Rin stirs.  His phone is out, and Makoto catches a glimpse of a swimming forum before Rin locks it.  “Hey.”

            “What time is it?”  He looks around for a clock.  The dresser next to Rin seems to have one but it’s turned away.  As if reading his mind, Rin turns the clock back towards him so Makoto can read it.  11:32 pm.  He sits up suddenly, then lies back down when all the blood rushes to his head.

            “Easy there,” Rin’s hand is on his chest.  “You passed out there for a while, so I let you sleep.”

            “What about you?”

            “I didn’t come three times.”

            Makoto would be embarrassed, but he’s too tired.  “Yamazaki?”

            “Went for a walk.  But you can stay the night if you want.”

            He shakes his head.  “I should get back to Haru.”

            “Alright.”  It’s hard to tell if Rin’s just tired, or if that’s disappointment lacing his voice.  Makoto decides it’s better if he doesn’t think about it.

            The butterflier extracts himself from Makoto’s arms and gets out of bed, heading to the bathroom.  “Where are you going?”

            “I left your shorts in here to dry.”  Rin disappears then comes back.  “They’re still a little damp.  Hope that’s alright.”

            “Thanks.”

            “I tried to clean you off too.  You smelled like you’d just taken a shower, and I didn’t think you’d want to have to take a second one.”

            Makoto smiles softly at him.  “Thank you, Rin.”

            The adorable faint blush that Makoto thinks might be his favorite appears on Rin’s cheeks.  “It’s not a big deal.”

            There’s a knock on the door, and it’s a good thing too, because Makoto was thinking about pulling Rin in for another kiss.  If that happened, he’d never get back to his own room.

            “I’ll get it.  You get your shorts on.”  Rin shoots him a cheeky grin, already practically at the door.  He cracks it open, and Makoto’s suddenly glad he’s blocked from seeing who’s there when Rin gasps.  “Haru?”

* * *

 

            The run wasn’t helping him make any decisions.  Haru could practically feel Rin on his heels breathing in his ear _you’re just running away, same as always_.  The faster he ran, the worse it got, until he was sprinting past couples walking home from their date and college students heading to their second or third bar.

            Haru ran faster and faster until he couldn’t run anymore.  He came to a halt, practically collapsing against the tree next to him.  He’d ended up in a park somewhere, and it was dark.  At least there were no people around.

            _You’re the pride of our school.  We can’t allow that talent go to waste._

            He just wants them to all shut up and leave him alone.  He only swims free.  Why can’t anyone understand that?

            _Ignoring them might make them go away, but it won’t work on me._

            And just like that, imaginary Rin is back.  He’s leaning against the tree across from Haru, trying to look cool as usual.  He jumps up, pointing an accusing finger at the apparition.  “I don’t know what you want from me!”  Haru yells back.  He’s alone here, and besides: who cares if he looks crazy yelling at a tree?

            _You know what I want, Haru.  I want us to swim together.  I want us to win the Olympics together._

            “What?  And get married and live happily ever after?”

            _No.  That’s what_ you _want._

            He knows that’s not Rin.  He knows it’s just his eyes playing tricks on him in the darkness.  But that doesn’t make the words hurt any less.

            “What if I don’t want the same thing you want?”

            Imaginary Rin shrugs.  _I’m not real, Haru.  I’m just part of your imagination._

“That’s not helpful!”

            He chuckles, just like the real Rin would.  _If you want real answers, you know what you have to do._

            It’s not that he wants Rin to tell him what to do.  Haru isn’t going to swim for Rin.  He isn’t going to swim for anyone.  But he needs answers.  He needs to know something.  Because otherwise, he doesn’t know if he can fight against the water anymore.

            Haru’s feet pound against the pavement; muscle memory guiding him back to the hotel.  He passes by Sousuke in the lobby, barely registering his presence, even as the other calls out to him.  “Nanase!  Wait!”

            He needs answers.  He needs a reason to swim.  He needs to be free again.  Maybe Rin can give him that.

            Haru taps his foot impatiently as the elevator takes him up the flights.  It stops twice: once for more towels to make their way onto the lift, and once for them to exit.  Finally, it stops on the floor he needs.  Haru all but races down the hall, skidding to a stop in front of Rin’s door and knocks impatiently.

            He hears rustling on the other side, and the muffled sound of Rin’s voice as it comes closer.  “…get your shorts on.”  Almost immediately, Haru’s heart falls.  It’s Sousuke.  He knew it would be Sousuke in the end.  It was inevitable.

            The door swings open, and there’s Rin.  He’s dressed for bed in his sweats and oversized shirt, but despite all appearances of being clean, Haru can still smell it on him.  The butterflier’s eyes widen.  “Haru?”

            All the questions he was going to ask stick somewhere in his throat.  All he can think is “why?”

            “Why what?  Haru, are you ok?”

            He opens and closes his mouth a few times, still unable to ask Rin the questions that matter.  To demand him to _give me a reason to swim again_.  “I –“

            “Nanase.”  He hadn’t even noticed Sousuke sneak up behind him; he’d been so focused on Rin.

            “Sousuke,” Rin says, clearly surprised.  There’s a rustling in the room behind Rin, and Haru suddenly remembers running past Sousuke in the lobby.  He pales as the knowledge hits him.

            There’s someone in the room with Rin, but it’s not Sousuke. 

            A wave of dread washes over him, leaving a ringing in his ears.  “Rin,” he starts, surprised by how calm his voice sounds, even though it seems to be coming from far away.  “Who’s in the room behind you?”

            Panic is clear on Rin’s face.  “No one, Haru.  Seriously, are you ok?”

            Desperation, the need for an answer to _something_ at least, overwhelms Haru.  He shoves the door inward with more force than Rin was expecting.  Rin stumbles backward, finally giving Haru a clear view into the room.  His legs turn to jelly in that instant as if they’d just remembered sprinting several miles, and Haru sags against the door.

            Makoto is standing by the foot of the bed, eyes wide as they make eye contact.  He looks smaller than Haru had ever seen him before, the guilt clear on his face.  Haru stares for a moment without blinking, registering what just happened.  His face twists, and Makoto must’ve seen something in it, because he steps forward, clearly concerned.  “Ha –“

            Haru regains control of his limbs and spins around, shoving past Sousuke and bolting down the hallway before Makoto can finish even saying his name.


	15. Crystallize

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regionals part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are some scenes I liked in the canon so much, that I'll be using them for my own purposes. You'll recognize that in this chapter. 
> 
> Can't wait to see what you guys think! Enjoy! :)

            Walking in on the person you love in bed with someone else is the worst experience in the world.  It’s not something Sousuke would wish on his worst enemy.  So when he sees Nanase sprint past him in the lobby, clearly on his way to his and Rin’s room, he has to stop him.  He knows what’s up there.

            He’d left the room earlier, not wanting to be around Rin in case he noticed the way he was cradling his shoulder.  It had been bad luck to find out Nanase knew already, but the fact Rin hadn’t brought it up yet meant he was probably safe.  He’d wandered around a while and found a place to do his physical therapy exercises away from Rin’s prying eyes.  When he’d finally come back, he’d walked in to see a half-naked Tachibana (covered only by the sheet) wrapped around Rin.  Tachibana was asleep, but Rin had looked up from his phone with a half-guilty, half-apologetic expression, and Sousuke had said he was going for a walk. 

            He ends up just sitting down in the lobby, watching the time tick down and wondering if he should find a new place to sleep.  Until Nanase sprints past him.  “Nanase!  Wait!” 

            He doesn’t wish it on his worst enemy.  Even Nanase.  He gets up and chases after the other, but he’s too slow; Nanase’s already gone.  He takes the next elevator, wondering why in hell Rin thought it was a good idea to put their team on a floor so close to the top.

            Nanase is already at the door when he gets there.  Rin always talked about how hard he was to read, but Sousuke is well versed in understanding the subtle hints that lie in the crease between eyebrows and the slight widening of the eyes.  He and Nanase are the same in that respect.  And because they’re the same, Sousuke can see: Rin’s broken more than just two hearts.  “I –“

            He has to stop Nanase from saying something he’ll regret.  “Nanase.”

            Finally, Rin sees him.  “Sousuke.”  There’s a faint hint of panic in his expression, and Sousuke remembers what he’d said before.  _He’s in love with Haru.  We’re just…blowing off steam or whatever.  Sex friends, I guess._   They don’t want Nanase to know.  And even though he doesn’t like Nanase very much, he has to agree.  It would be best if he remained ignorant.

            He thinks he’s saved Nanase from finding out.  He thinks maybe the other swimmer will realize that it’s too late at night to make love confessions and will just wish Rin good luck in the race the next day.  But the next words from Nanase’s mouth prove him wrong.  “Rin.  Who’s in the room behind you?”  His voice falters slightly, and in a moment Sousuke understands he did the wrong thing.  If he hadn’t said anything, Nanase would’ve left, assuming _he_ was the one in the room with Rin.

            “No one, Haru.  Seriously, are you ok?”  This time the panic is clearer in Rin’s voice.  Sousuke wants to do something to help him.  He doesn’t want to hear that tone from Rin.  But before he can think of some way to diffuse the situation, Nanase pushes past Rin, revealing an obviously terrified Tachibana standing shirtless in the room behind him.

            “Ha–“ He takes a step toward the door, but then Nanase is pushing past Sousuke, sprinting past him down the hall.

            “Haru!”  Rin yells, making a move to chase after him, but Sousuke wraps an arm around his waist and drags him back into their room, closing the door behind him.  Rin struggles out of his grip.  “What the fuck, Sousuke?!”

            He leans back against the door, not letting either of them out.  “You’re disturbing the other guests.”

            That seems to be enough to cow him.  “Let me talk to Haru,” Rin says in a much quieter voice.  Tachibana sinks down onto the edge of Sousuke’s bed.  He seems to be in shock, and for an instant Sousuke thinks meanly _now you know how I feel_.  It passes the second Rin goes and sits next to him, his hand on Tachibana’s shoulder; replaced by an empty jealousy.  “Makoto, I’m so sorry.”  He says it softly, and Sousuke feels like he’s intruding on something private.  He has to look away from the scene.

            “It’s not your fault,” Tachibana whispers back.  The room still smells like sex.  It’s faded a bit from when Sousuke had first walked in to see them curled together like a real couple, but it’s still there.

            “Stay the night.”  Sousuke’s head jerks back to look at them.  Rin’s arm is around Tachibana’s back, and the two of them don’t seem to remember Sousuke’s still in the room with them.  They seem lost in their own little world, and he _knew_ there was no way Rin would ever be _just sex friends_ with anyone.  “You can grab your suit and things in the morning, just…stay the night.”

            He’s going to interrupt.  He needs to remind them both that he’s here and that staying the night right before an important meet is a _bad idea_.  But Tachibana beats him to it.

            “I can’t do that to Haru.”  Rin’s hand disappears from behind Tachibana’s back and reappears on his own leg in a fist.

            “Right.”  Rin looks a little lost when he says it, and Sousuke’s heart goes out to him despite the jealousy. 

            Tachibana stands up and walks to the door.  “Thank you for cleaning up my shorts.  I’m sorry I caused so much trouble.”  He meets Sousuke’s gaze, and for a crazy moment Sousuke considers not letting him leave.  Instead, he settles for directing a glare at Tachibana and steps aside just enough for the other to open the door and slip out.

            He closes it again behind Tachibana, a bit more forcibly than he’d originally intended.  Rin winces.  “The top two finishers tomorrow are the only ones who get to continue on to Nationals.”  He reminds Rin as he locks the door and finally steps properly into the room.

            “I know that.”  Rin sounds irritated as he speaks.  He pushes himself off Sousuke’s bed and walks over to the bathroom.  Sousuke follows him, leaning on the doorframe while the redhead washes his face and brushes his teeth.

            “If you knew that then why –“

            “Drop it, Sousuke.”

            He isn’t going to drop it anytime soon.  “You know that having sex right before a swim meet could negatively impact your times.”

            “I already said we’re not having sex.  And I told you to drop it, so…”

            “You couldn’t have waited _one day_?”

            Rin spins around, pointing his toothbrush threateningly at Sousuke.  “I said _drop it_.”

            Sousuke’s scowl deepens.  “Rin your swimming career is more important than some friends-with-benefits thing.”

            “We hadn’t seen each other in a week, Sousuke.  What part of drop it don’t you get?”

            He sighs.  There’s no getting through to him.  “I have to shower, are you almost done?”

            Rin turns back to the mirror in a huff.  “Let me finish brushing my teeth and use the bathroom, then it’s all yours.”

            By the time Sousuke finishes showering, it’s well after midnight and Rin’s fast asleep.  Or at least pretending to be.  He turns off the light and goes to his own bed, massaging out his shoulder.  He hopes it can hold out for the relay tomorrow.  He doesn’t need that added onto the pile of shit Rin already has to deal with.

* * *

 

            Warm up is an icy affair.  Haru knows that Nagisa and Rei can both tell something is going on, but neither of them are tactless enough to say anything.  There’s a moment where he thinks Nagisa might, but Rei places his hand on the blonde’s shoulder and he stays quiet.

            The 100 freestyle is the last individual event of the day, so Haru sits and watches the others swim.  They all seem so surprised that the competition is leagues better than at prefecturals.  They all look genuinely disappointed when they don’t win their heats or qualify for finals that evening.  Even Makoto looks surprised.  With all the time he’d apparently been spending with Rin lately, Haru would’ve thought he’d have the National 100 backstroke champion’s times from the year before memorized.  Whatever they were doing instead must’ve been really interesting to distract Rin from living and breathing swimming 24/7.

            Haru stands up suddenly, before that thought can spiral further out of control.  Gou and Ama-sensei look at him a little strange, but he mumbles that he’s going to warm up, and they let him go.  This shorter warm up is even worse than the one when they’d first arrived.  The water is rejecting him worse than before, and he knows why.  His heart isn’t in it.

            He’d had a nightmare the night before.  All the scouts and the principal and his teammates, even Rin and Sousuke and their team, were there trying to convince him to swim for them.  They wanted to turn him into another robot.  A clone of Rin.  They wanted to show him off like some sort of freak at a carnival.  He’d woken from it in a sweat and looked over to find Makoto’s sleeping form in the other bed.  It only comforted him for a minute, before he had been reminded of the events the night previous.  He hadn’t fallen back asleep.

            Rin’s already there, waiting for him, by the time Haru gets out of the warm up pool and walks to the hall connecting to the race pool.  “Hey,” he greets Haru, walking beside him before Haru can pass him by.  It’s an awkward silence, but Haru has no intention of breaking it.  That’s Rin’s job.

            “Makoto didn’t make finals,” Rin remarks, clearly without thinking.  They both wince at the same time.  Haru sees Rin watching him from the corner of his eye, but he doesn’t meet his gaze.  “It’s not what you think,” he continues after a beat.

            Haru doesn’t respond.  He slows down and stops, letting Rin continue in front of him.  The butterflier sighs and turns to him, his expression wistful.  “Fine.  We’ll talk about this after the race.  I’ll see you in finals.”  Rin waves and goes on ahead, leaving Haru standing there, staring after his back as he walks away again.

            Watching Rin swim is always intoxicating.  Most people don’t notice it because they’re too busy watching Haru swim against him.  But with Haru lined up, waiting for the next heat, everyone notices Rin.  He’s incredible, and even though Haru’s mad, he can’t help but keep his eyes on Rin’s body as he races.  Whatever training routine he changed to after prefecturals is clearly working.  Rin destroys his entire heat by more than a body length, shattering his own best time set at the last meet against Haru himself by almost half a second.  That kind of improvement at this level…Rin will be a force to be reckoned with on the international stage.

            Rin climbs out grinning brightly enough to blind the sun.  He did well, and he knows it.  Haru ignores the thumbs up Rin shoots his way and lines up behind his starting block.  He wonders if the scout he’d met before was there watching. 

            He wonders if Makoto’s watching.

            “Take your mark.”  He takes longer than normal to bend down, and by the time the starting beep goes off, he’s the last off the blocks.  His dive is less than perfect, and underwater he can see the other swimmers already pulling ahead of him.  What would happen if he tries to win and loses instead?  Will the scouts go away?  Will everyone just leave him alone and let him swim free?

            Will Rin choose one of these swimmers to race him instead?

            The water is constricting him.  Tightening around his neck like a noose, even as Haru finally surfaces.  He takes his first stroke, turning his head to breathe, and the water flows in his nose and mouth, suffocating him.  He can’t do this.  Not for the scouts, or the school.  Not for Makoto, or Nagisa, or Rei.  Not even for Rin.

            He stops kicking, lets his feet sink down to the bottom.  He could still change his mind.  Still race.  As long as he doesn’t touch the bottom of the pool, he can still swim.  But he doesn’t want to swim in this pool set up like a circus, where people come to see the freaks swim back and forth in a cage.  So Haru touches his foot to the floor and stares down at the water which is stilling now that the rest of his heat is far ahead of him.

            The crowd is watching him, the cheers scattered now, and Haru looks up and around at the deck.  Rin is in the corner, his back to the pool as he’s interviewed by a local station.  They pause, and Rin turns as if feeling Haru’s stare on his back.  His jaw drops open as they make eye contact, and Haru can see his name on Rin’s lips.

            He turns away from the stare and swims slowly back the few meters he’d swum out.  The rest of his heat is on their way back now, and he should be out of the pool before the water notices he’s not racing anymore.  As if in a dream, Haru climbs out of the pool.  He never needed Makoto’s help.  He rips off his goggles and, without even looking back to Rin or the crowd, walks silently off into the locker room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (On a side note I have a battle royale au halloween fic you guys might enjoy as well)


	16. Judgement Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regionals part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Actually the title of the chapter is from the movie (Terminator 2: Judgement Day). The song I picked was the theme song, which is just called "Theme Song" and I thought that was a totally lame name for this chapter. So I picked the movie it was theme of.
> 
> Relevant notes:   
> 1) Remember in this AU, Sousuke isn't so badly injured he needs surgery, and we already had it confirmed that he actually WAS scouted for a university (chapter 3? 4? I don't remember. It's my own fic and I don't remember how sad.)  
> 2) As this is AU, despite certain events being the same, that doesn't mean the dialogue is the same. Just telling you now so you don't expect a word for word transcript from episodes 9 and 10.  
> 3) Since we are now basically done with regionals (finals is left, but we aren't going to touch that), we are nearing the climax (nationals). Based on how the actual canon was done, I'm assuming there were maybe 2-3 weeks between regionals and nationals (1-2 weeks of school and training after regionals, then 1 week of vacation where Rin and Haru had happy times in Australia before arriving immediately at nationals with no school in between.) I'm not positive on timeline because, let's be honest, the show was super vague about stuff like that. Time is apparently irrelevant to swimmers. (That's so not true, omg). Anyway, this means you should expect maybe 5(?) more chapters of this before I move into the optional!sequel. (I'll explain why it's optional once the final pairing is revealed)  
> 4) Related to 3), I WILL NOT be sending Rin to Australia for Obon. I had played with the idea of sending him with one of the boys or surprise guest star Gou, but based on my assumed timeline and the things I already planned out before that episode came out, there isn't enough time for the story to be concluded if Rin disappears for an entire week.
> 
> TLDR; no Australia trip, Sousuke isn't as badly injured as the canon, story should be concluded in about 5 chapters.
> 
> One last word: two OC character names are mentioned. I literally pulled their names out of my butt (ok not literally) because Rin needed to prove a point. You'll know what I mean when I get there; there are no OCs in this fic. Enjoy and drop a comment if you so choose! I love love love reading them. (wow I typed a lot. sorry.)

            It takes Rin about ten seconds to sprint after Haru.  It wouldn’t have taken even that long, except he has to turn and apologize to the local tv crew before he can leave.  He’s sure everyone’s watching him as he runs across the pool deck (miraculously not tripping), clearly chasing the guy who had stopped swimming _before he was even halfway through the race._   He can actually _feel_ Makoto’s eyes on his back just before he reaches the safety and near darkness of the practically abandoned locker room.

            Haru is just standing there, pulling his towel and jacket from a locker when Rin bursts in.  “Haru!”  He yells, stalking up to him and grabbing his wrist.  Haru falls back against the lockers from the force of it, but Rin can’t bring himself to feel too bad about that.  A small voice in the back of his mind somewhere is telling him that it’s not his future, and he shouldn’t fuck things up with Haru again.  But a much louder voice spills from his lips.  “What do you think you were doing?  Why the hell did you do that?!”

            “It has nothing to do with you.”  But Haru isn’t looking at him, and Rin isn’t going to have any of that.

            “Like hell it doesn’t.  That was an important meet!  I thought we were going to race together at finals!”  He’s already breathing hard; panicking, and Haru’s just standing there with this blank expression on his face not even meeting Rin’s eyes.

            “What do I care about that?  It doesn’t matter.”  Haru’s voice grows darker, and he finally looks up and meets Rin’s gaze.

            Haru can say what he wants, Rin decides as his own eyes narrow, but this isn’t about swimming.  Or at least not completely.  “Haru…what is this really about?”

            “I already said it has nothing to do with you.”  And just like that the blue eyes are gone, staring at something far more interesting than Rin on the floor.

            He grabs Haru’s shoulders, pushing him harder against the lockers behind him.  He wants to shake him until he sees sense.  “Do you not understand that what you did out there ended your swimming career before Nationals?!  Haru –”

            Haru shoves his weight back against Rin, breaking free from his grip.  He raises his fist, and for one crazy moment, Rin thinks Haru’s going to punch him.  But then the fist slams against the lockers instead, making him wince.  “You’re the one who doesn’t understand!”  Rin’s never seen Haru honest-to-goodness angry before.  He thinks it’s a sight he could’ve gone his whole life without seeing and been happy.  But it’s too late now.  “Finals?”  Haru steps forward, forcing Rin back.  “Nationals?”  Another step.  “It’s you who cares about all that!”  With the next step, Rin trips over the leg of the changing bench and falls back onto the ground.  “I’m not you!”  He blinks up at Haru, who’s breathing hard like he just ran a race as he stands over Rin.  “I’m not you,” he repeats.  His hands are balled into fists at his sides, and he gives Rin one last look before turning to the door.

            They both freeze.  “You guys…you were here?”  The anger is gone from Haru’s voice as they look over at the rest of the Iwatobi relay standing in the doorway, gaping at them.

            “Haru-chan…”  Nagisa’s the first to speak.  Rin can barely make out his expression with the light glaring in from behind him, but he can tell by the tone that Nagisa’s upset.  So they must’ve seen it.  Or at least the end.

            “It’s ok,” Haru reassures in a calmer voice than before.  “Nagisa, Rei.  I’ll still swim the relay with you.  That’s what I’ve come this far for.”  Even though there’s no malice in his voice, the last sentence hurts.  The relay…Haru would’ve never swum a relay if Rin hadn’t forced him into it years ago.  To say that a relay without Rin was the only thing he cared about…

            “Haruka-senpai…”  Rei calls weakly as Haru brushes past the three of them without another word.

            Rin stands up slowly, and he and Makoto finally look at each other.  It didn’t escape him that Haru addressed Nagisa and Rei but not Makoto.  Even though he can’t see the other’s eyes, he can feel the depth of disappointment and pain in them.  He has to look away.  “Makoto-senpai, should we go after him?”

            “Leave it for now.”  It kills Rin how Makoto can sound so calm and reassuring even when he’s clearly suffering.  “Haru just needs time to be alone.  He’ll find us before the relay.”  The three of them disappear from the door, no doubt back to find the rest of their group, without saying anything to Rin.  It’s probably for the best.  He isn’t sure what he would do if they tried to talk to him.

            With an irritated “tch” Rin follows them out, scooping up the goggles he’d dropped on the floor as he went.

* * *

 

            Nanase’s race, Sousuke decides, is the perfect time for him to disappear for a quick shower.  He darts into the empty locker room after watching Rin’s mind-blowing finish and turns the water freezing cold.  He would prefer to have real ice on his shoulder, but leaving to find some would be a dead giveaway, so he has to satisfy himself with just the shower.

            The side effect is that it freezes everywhere else, ruining his warm up.  He’s going to have to get back in the warm up pool and swim a few laps just to loosen his muscles again.  He wonders if Rin will notice.

            Sousuke shuts off the shower and grabs his towel, walking out into the main area of the locker room.  He immediately turns around and walks back in, seeing Nanase just outside, opening his locker.  The race shouldn’t be over yet.  Sousuke had planned his short, 30 second shower based on knowing the next heat would still be swimming by the time he got out.

            He doesn’t have time to debate any further on this because the next thing he knows, Rin’s voice is echoing through the room.  Sousuke’s shoulder gives a dull throb and he sinks to the floor, listening.

            If it were possible to lose Rin to two people at once, he just did.  Or maybe he had a long time ago.  He knows Rin wants Nanase to go professional, that he thinks Nanase’s passive nature regarding the sport is a waste of talent.  Hearing Rin get so upset because they won’t have a chance to race each other again breaks his heart.  And then hearing Nanase just walk away from that…Sousuke will never forgive him.

            Tachibana’s voice reaches his ears, but he isn’t speaking to Rin either.  Rin’s words from before ring through his mind once more.  _He’s in love with Haru._   Of course Rin would fall for Tachibana.  It’s just like Rin to be so tragically romantic.  As he hears the last of the footsteps disappear, none of them offering a single word of comfort to Rin, Sousuke decides he’ll never forgive Tachibana either.

\---

            He gives Rin some space, swimming a few laps to warm up his muscles again for the relay instead.  If this were a big meet that mattered, he’d have warm up schedules and would be as obsessive as Rin about keeping his muscles from tightening up.  But this isn’t.  The coach from his future team already made him swear he wouldn’t swim the rest of the season after regionals.  He has to recover and heal before the start of his university career, or he’ll be kicked off the team in the first week.  That was the deal they made.

            But that means he’s going to have to tell Rin about his shoulder.

            He finds Rin by the vending machine, just staring at it, his finger hovering over the button for their favorite cola.  Sousuke doesn’t really blame him for being stuck in thought, given what he’d just overheard, but he also thinks Rin deserves better than to be forced to wallow in his pity alone after that race (Sousuke thinks he set a regionals record, but he’s not sure).  “Rin,” he greets.  “Congratu–“

            “Takahashi is seeded first in the 100 fly for finals,” Rin starts.  Sousuke grows quiet and just stands there.  He’s not sure what Rin’s talking about, but he’s sure there’s a point to it.  “He’s in his third year from the Okayama region.  He signed with some university when he qualified for finals at nationals last year.”

            Sousuke frowns, but doesn’t interrupt when Rin continues.  “Hatanaka just set what could be the new national record in the 100 breast today.  The university he’s planning to attend next year offered him a scholarship two years ago when he was just a first year and won the Hiroshima prefectural meet in two different individual events.”

            Finally, Rin turns away from the vending machine and meets Sousuke’s eyes.  “There are more, too.  Swimmers in their third year who were already scouted and are still swimming the maximum number of allowed races every meet.”  Sousuke balls his hand into a fist.  He knows where Rin is going with this now, and it’s _too soon_.  They haven’t even swum the relay yet.

            Rin takes a step forward, and unlike Nanase, Sousuke doesn’t flinch away.  He stands there unyielding, preparing himself for what’s to come.  “I thought it was strange, when you told me and the coach that you couldn’t participate in any individual events other than the 50 free at the beginning of the year.  And I know you think I’ve been distracted by…other things all season, but don’t think I haven’t noticed when you skip out of practice early or how you’ve been lifting half the weight I know you’re capable of.”  Rin drops his gaze from Sousuke’s face, moving it instead to focus on his shoulder.  His _right_ shoulder.  Damn.  He even noticed which is hurt worse.

            “It may have taken me until watching you during warm up today to figure out what exactly was wrong, but Sousuke…”  Rin trails off, his hand coming up to Sousuke’s jacket right where his shoulder meets his chest.  He grips the material tight in his hand, twisting it a little.  “How long have your shoulders been injured?”

            Sousuke let out all the breath he hadn’t even known he was holding in a whoosh.  “Nothing gets by you, huh?”

            The look Rin gives him is pained, and all Sousuke can think is _why now, why here, why why why…_   He hears voices approaching, and Rin lets go and takes a step back just as a group from another school walks down the hall, chatting animatedly about the relay.  The silence they leave behind is awkward and thick, so Sousuke clears his throat.  “Let’s go somewhere else and talk about this, shall we?”

            He leads Rin out and away, until they’re away from the building and surrounded by nothing but trees and the distant sound of cheering through the open doors.  He would just keep walking if he could, but Rin doesn’t let him.  They get just barely off the path before Rin grabs his wrist and stops him with a word.  “Sousuke.”

            He doesn’t want to meet Rin’s eyes.  He can already feel the blame and self-hatred rolling off his friend in waves.  He has to stop it somehow.  “It was toward the end of last season.  I’d noticed my shoulder pinching when I swam, especially freestyle.  I didn’t think much of it, just stretched extra and took a few days off of weights, thinking it would go away.  It kept getting worse and worse, and I didn’t want to tell anyone.  It was sometime after regionals, after the scouts for the school had already talked to me and signed me, and there was a practice where…it just gave out.  I went to the doctor almost immediately and they confirmed what my coach thought.

            “It wasn’t anything that couldn’t be fixed with physical training, but the university coach found out anyway.  I thought they were going to take the offer from me, but they didn’t.  Apparently this happens all the time.  I just had to promise to take time off.”

            Rin’s grip on his wrist tightens, and Sousuke almost lies about the next part.  Almost.  “Then I heard you were back in Japan.  Swimming again.  As soon as I found out what school, I arranged to get a transfer here and swim with you.  I talked to the university coach and convinced him to let me swim for my last high school season.  The deal was that I wouldn’t work myself too hard, that I would only participate in events that were less than 100 m in distance, and that I would end my season after regionals to fully focus on the healing process.  It was what we agreed upon when I travelled up to visit the school earlier in the season.”  He doesn’t say that the coach thought he’d be further along in the healing process.  That swimming the relay and training with Rin for even just a short time had caused more damage.  That he’d been babying his originally injured shoulder to the point where he’d hurt his _good_ shoulder worse than the first.  That his future with that university was on a razor thin edge, and even the smallest thing could get his swimming scholarship revoked.

            “I can’t let you swim.”  They’re the first words out of Rin’s mouth, and he has to admit that they aren’t wholly unexpected.  “You know I can’t let you swim.”

            He knows.  It’s why he wasn’t going to tell Rin until after regionals.  He _has_ to swim.  “Let me swim.”

            “Sousuke.”  Rin’s hands move to his jacket again, grabbing at the front by the zippers this time.  “I _can’t_ let you swim.  You’ll hurt yourself worse…”

            “You have to let me swim.  The relay can’t compete with only three people.”

            “Then I’ll take us off the roster!  I won’t let you hurt yourself more over some dumb relay!”

            “Rin.”  He lightly grabs hold of Rin’s wrists, pulling his hands off his jacket where they’re gripped so tight, his knuckles are white.  “Rin,” he says again soothingly, because he can, and because he can already see tears on the edges of Rin’s eyes.  “I came here to swim the relay with you.”

            He knows Rin will understand _here_ to be Samezuka.  “I couldn’t have our last race together end on a bad note.”  It takes a moment, but Rin’s eyes widen, so Sousuke continues.  It’s embarrassing, but swimming this one _last_ relay with Rin…it’s important, and Rin won’t let him if Sousuke can’t give him a reason.  “You were right all along: swimming is a team sport.  I should’ve never let you leave Sano.”

            The tears are falling down Rin’s cheeks now, leaving tracks in the dried chlorine there.  “Why didn’t you just _tell_ me?”  He sobs, and Sousuke wishes with all his soul that he could pull Rin in for a hug and kiss his cheeks clean.  But he can’t, so he drops Rin’s wrists and satisfies himself with brushing away a single tear off Rin’s cheek with his thumb.

            “Because I knew you would cry.”

            Rin sniffles.  “I’m not crying.”  And this time, Sousuke really does pull him in for a hug.

            They stay like that for a while until Nitori and Momo find them and tell them it’s time for the relay.  The underclassmen don’t ask any questions, but Sousuke can feel Nitori’s eyes on him as he stretches his shoulders when they line up.  It doesn’t matter anymore.  The only person who matters knows, and even though Rin keeps giving him these not-so-subtle glances, he doesn’t stop Sousuke from lining up with the team.  Rin’s going to let him swim.

            They’re lined up next to the Iwatobi team, who keep giving them strange sideways glances.  He half expects another challenge, but the two whistles are blown for the backstrokers to get in the water, and none of the other swimmers say anything.  “Take your mark…”  Beep!

            As the start goes off, Sousuke forces himself to watch, really _watch_ , the race.  This is his last relay with this team, with Rin, and he has to remember every second of it.

            Momo has the best underwater kickout of the teams there, putting Samezuka at a definite advantage, and Nitori already has his goggles on and is on the block.  He always was overly enthusiastic, even if he was quieter about it than Momo.  Tachibana and Momo touch the wall at nearly the same time, sending off Nitori and Hazuki into the breaststroke.  Under Sousuke’s coaching, Nitori has improved, but he’s still not quite at the level of the Iwatobi blonde, so when he hits the wall, Sousuke is almost a half second behind Ryugazaki.

            He can feel his shoulders protesting from the first stroke.  The left one, initially injured a year ago, gives a dull throb, but it’s the right one that concerns him.  It’s pinching and popping with every stroke, and when Sousuke goes in for the turn he feels something tweak.  He almost gives in to it, slowing down and losing all the ground he’d gained on Iwatobi.  But somewhere in the distant cheers he hears his name, desperate and painful.  “Sousuke!!”  _Rin_.  He gets a renewed burst of energy, and suddenly he’s swimming through the injury and nothing else matters and when he touches the wall he looks up.

            It’s a brief moment, but it feels like eternity as Sousuke watches Rin soar over him in slow motion.  Something in his memory slots into place and he thinks _oh.  This is what he meant._

            And even though he needs Nitori and Momo’s help to get out of the pool before they can be disqualified, and even though they end up coming in a close second to Iwatobi, and even though Rin announces to the team through barely concealed tears that he’s removing their relay from nationals despite qualifying, and even though Sousuke’s going to have to have a long talk with the university coach and his physical therapist about whether he’ll be able to swim next season or not, and even through all of that, the moment he’s swarmed by the other three as if they won the Olympics is the best way for him to end his high school swimming career.


	17. Breathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alternatively titled: "The Chapter In Which Rin Realizes His True Feelings And The Main Ship Is Revealed"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter...hurt me. I'm so sorry.
> 
> On a happier note, NaNoWriMo will be here this time next week. If any of you cool cats are participating, we should be writing buddies. I am under the handle "catwhoman" on the official site, and I will be writing in the science fiction genre. So add me and we can support each other through this month of hell. This shouldn't affect Monday updates, though.
> 
> I hope you enjoy! I can't wait to hear your thoughts, even if they are all angrily directed at me.

            By the end of finals, Rin qualifies for Nationals in both the 100 free and 100 fly, being one of the few swimmers to make it to that level in more than one individual event.  Samezuka does well overall, being able to send both their freestyle relays as well as several other swimmers in individual events to Nationals.  It was a fairly good Regionals, and Rin says so at the beginning of practice the next week.  He’s reserved a few lanes for the remainder of the season for the swimmers who didn’t make it but want to stay in shape.  Everyone who will be swimming at Nationals has training schedules focusing on the events they qualified for, so everyone on the team can still practice together as one big family.

            Well, almost everyone.

            Sousuke spends the time when everyone else is at practice at doctor’s appointments and icing his shoulder.  He does his physical therapy exercises in the weight room alongside the team, but no one approaches him anymore.  It’s like they’ve all forgotten how.  And the past few evenings have been silent and awkward in their dorm room.  They haven’t said anything to each other since Sousuke confessed about his injury to Rin, and Rin knows it’s his job to start them talking again, but he doesn’t know what to say either.

            He ends up hovering around Sousuke in ways he never had before.  He follows Sousuke around when they go to the weight room, he sits on Sousuke’s right when they eat or go anywhere so people won’t accidentally run into his shoulder, and when Sousuke gets a call from the coach at the university, Rin doesn’t walk out of the room to give him privacy like he should.  Instead, he eavesdrops in an incredibly obvious fashion.

            “Hello, coach Sugimoto.”  There’s a pause where Rin tries to pretend he’s still reading the book assigned for his English class.  “Yes.”  Another pause.  “Yes.”  The third is longer.  “No…because I thought the surgery sounded too risky for such small benefits.”  Rin looks up, glad that Sousuke is staring out the window instead of looking toward his desk.  “Thank you…yes…yes…thank you, sir…goodbye.”

            Rin hastily looks back down at his book when Sousuke turns his head.  He hears a sigh come from his roommate, but neither of them say anything.  The next day, Rin starts carrying Sousuke’s bag for him, and Sousuke doesn’t complain.

            It’s almost the end of the week leading to the Obon break before Rin finally breaks the silence.  They’re the last ones left in the weight room, and Sousuke must be tired, because his form for the shoulder exercise is horrible.  Rin can’t help it.  He finishes the reps he’s doing and grabs his water bottle before walking over and placing his hand on his best friend’s shoulder.

            “You’re doing that wrong.”

            Sousuke stops moving and slowly turns his head to blink at Rin, and Rin realizes these are the first words he’s said to Sousuke since the relay.  He blushes and drops his hand.

            “I mean…I had to do that exercise when I hurt my shoulder.  Plus I’ve been watching you all week, so I know you’re doing it wrong.”

            Sousuke gives Rin this look like he’s completely insane.  “When you hurt your shoulder?”

            “Oh, yeah.  I probably never told you about that.”

            “You didn’t.”

            “It was back in Australia, after I stopped improving.  I kept training too hard and lost sight of my form, so I got a mild case of tendonitis.  The coach put me in physical therapy as soon as it happened though and made sure I did the exercises in front of him at practice so he could watch my form.   It was a little embarrassing at first to see all my teammates swimming while I had to do shoulder exercises, but I got better really fast.”

            There is a long list of things he still hasn’t told Sousuke about Australia.  Not just Sousuke.  He hasn’t told Haru or Gou or Makoto.  In so many ways Australia was the best thing for him at that age.  But there are also memories that he’d rather forget.

            “It’s tired.  They’ve been upping my number of reps this week.”

            It takes a second for Rin to figure out what he’s talking about.  “That’s enough for today then.  It’s like my old coach used to say: ‘no point in doing something wrong if it’s just going to hurt you in the long run’.”

            Sousuke almost looks like he wants to argue, but then Rin grabs his towel and tosses it at him.  “We’re going back to the dorm to ice your shoulder.  No arguments.”

            They don’t quite do that.  Both of them are in desperate need of a shower from working out (and in Rin’s case, swimming before that), and since they’re already in the locker room and have all their things with them, they brush their teeth too.  Rin makes Sousuke sit and wait for him to finish getting ready for bed so he can carry their bags back and not let Sousuke strain his shoulder anymore, but Sousuke rolls his eyes and disappears to find an ice pack instead.

            Things almost seem back to normal when they reach their room.  At least they’re talking again.  The biggest sign things have changed is how Sousuke hands Rin the ice pack while he strips off his shirt and takes the shoulder brace off.

            Guilt.  That’s the name Rin finally puts to the feeling he has every time he sees Sousuke wearing the brace.  It’s the reason it took him so long to finally say something.  It’s why he walks over to Sousuke and slowly pushes him down onto his own bed so the other doesn’t have to climb into the top bunk.

            If only he’d paid better attention to Sousuke during their practices.  If only he’d tried harder to figure out what was wrong.  If only he’d followed Sousuke to see where he went after ditching out early.  If only…if only…

            “It’s not your fault.”

            Rin looks up, startled, finally realizing that he’s been sitting on the bed next to Sousuke just playing with the ice pack instead of actually holding it to the other’s shoulder.  “What?”

            Sousuke reaches over and pokes him on the forehead.  “I know you’re blaming yourself for this.  The university didn’t turn me away.  They gave me one more chance.  Nothing went wrong, and even if it did, it was my decision.”  As usual, Sousuke knows him better than Rin knows himself.

            “I wasn’t blaming myself.”  He huffs, placing the ice pack on Sousuke’s shoulder.

            The brunette lets out a hiss.  “You were feeling guilty.  That’s the same thing.”

            “Shut up.”  He just readjusts the pack, refusing to meet Sousuke’s eyes, even though he can feel them on him.

            After almost a half-minute of silence, Rin finally looks up at him.  He immediately blushes and almost looks away when he sees that Sousuke hasn’t turned his gaze away the whole time.  Something about the teal eyes, so close to the color he desires, holds him there, and rather than leaning away like he knows he should, Rin leans in.

            Their lips meet, and Rin’s hand goes slack, dropping the now-forgotten ice pack to the ground.  It’s slow and light at first, as if Sousuke is afraid of scaring Rin off.  But one bad decision leads to another, and Rin is pressing his tongue against Sousuke’s mouth without thinking, forcing the other to unfreeze.

            It’s still a little slow from there, even if the kiss grew deeper.  Sousuke doesn’t know Rin’s mouth the way Makoto does, and Rin doesn’t know Sousuke’s.  But soon he figures out that the other likes it when he sucks on his bottom lip and uses his teeth to scrape against his tongue, and they both grow surer in their actions.

            Things move fast from there.

            Rin’s not sure how it happens, but he’s pushed back onto his own bed and Sousuke is on top of him, grinding against him in a way that is both too fast and too slow.  Too light and too hard.  And Rin is going crazy.

            He hasn’t had any action, not even with his own hand, since the night before Regionals, and he didn’t realize how bad he needed it until now.  Fingers are skimming down his newly naked chest, and the metal swoosh of a zipper alerts him to his pants being unzipped and taken off.  It hardly takes a moment for his boxers to follow.

            But the cold air barely has any time to hit his erection before it’s covered by a mouth and _god_ Makoto is good at this.  He just remembers the last time the backstroker sucked him off and his hands are in the other’s hair before he has time to think.  Rin throws his head back against the pillow and thrusts into Makoto’s mouth and _fuck_ did the other get more bold lately or something?  There’s a finger teasing at his entrance and Rin just mindlessly pushes down against it until it’s inside him, and it’s so clear to him.

            Of course he’d go all the way with Makoto.  He’d said he wanted to save himself for the person he loved and that was exactly what he was doing oh _god_.  Makoto is fucking into him with just his fingers (when did he add the second one?) and simultaneously sucking him off and the world shrinks down to a single, green-eyed dot for Rin.  The problem, of course, is that Makoto is too good at this.  A curl of his fingers makes them hit just the right spot, and Rin suddenly arches off the bed, spilling into the other’s mouth with only the small warning of “Makoto…” breathed as soft as a sigh through his lips.

            The warmth and fingers disappear almost instantly, leaving behind the cold air and the feel of sweat.  Rin opens his eyes and sits up with a frown, ready to demand to know why the hell he backed away so fast, but it dies on his tongue.

            Going without sex for almost a week really _had_ driven Rin crazy.  Because sitting on the edge of his bed, still half-dressed and staring at him with the most heartbroken expression Rin has ever seen, is Sousuke.  _Sousuke_.  The one he’d initiated a kiss with.  The one who had pushed him down on his own mattress.  _The one who had just gotten him off while he called out for Makoto_.

            “Sou–“

            “I’m in love with you, Rin.”

            This is all a bad dream.  A nightmare.  Rin is going to wake up and it’ll be the day before they have to leave for Regionals, and none of this will have happened.  It can’t be real.  Rin can’t be the one to make Sousuke look like…like he’s about to cry.

            “Sousuke,” he chokes, because he can’t think of anything else.

            “I’ve been in love with you for years.”

            “Sousuke, please…”

            “And Tachibana…Tachibana is in love with Nanase.  But you already know that.”

            Rin can’t bear to hear the disappointment in Sousuke’s voice which almost masks the underlying despair.  “Sous–“

            “I love you so much, Rin.”  His hand reaches out, as if to cup Rin’s cheek, and Rin just wishes he could say _me too, Sousuke._   _I love you too._   But he can’t, and Sousuke knows that.  The hand falls uselessly back to Sousuke’s side in a fist.  “But even I have a limit to how much I can take.”

            Sousuke’s standing up, grabbing his shirt and his bag, and there’s nothing Rin can do it but sit and watch him leave.  He never knew seeing someone’s back could hurt this much.

            Just before he walks out the door, Sousuke turns his head.  He doesn’t quite look at Rin, but he’s glancing in the right direction to give Rin the smallest thread of hope that their friendship isn’t over.  The other swimmer takes a breath, like the next thing he has to say is going to take a lot out of him.  “I really hope you get him, Rin.”  And then the door is closing behind him, leaving Rin alone to clean up the mess.


	18. Shatter Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iwatobi after Regionals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of things are happening all at once to every character, so this might not be done in the 5 chapters like I said before. It really depends if the next three scenes can be done in 1 chapter as planned or will take 3. I'm trying to keep the chapters close(ish) in length, and sometimes the characters' thoughts and feelings take more room to explain than I think they will. We are very close to the end though. So that's good.
> 
> On an unrelated note: why the hell can I write 2600 words so fast for this fic, but it takes me ages and teeth pulling to get out 1000 for my NaNo work? Ugh. Stupid. Oh well. At least you guys got your update, right? :)
> 
> Hope you enjoy! Can't wait to read your comments. There were several last time that I meant to respond to and just forgot. But I do read and cherish them all. See you next monday!

            This isn’t the first time Haru has ever given Makoto the silent treatment.  It isn’t even that rare, actually.  There are usually three levels of silence with Haru.  The first level is when he simply doesn’t want to answer.  He isn’t angry; he just doesn’t want to respond with his words.  That silence is comfortable; Makoto understands it.  The second kind of silence is when Makoto irritates Haru.  He doesn’t always know what causes it, and it’s usually over within a few hours; whenever Haru is next able to get in the bathtub or the pool.  Makoto rarely experienced the third level of Haru’s silence, and whenever he did it meant Haru was angry.  The most recent time, of course, had been when Haru found out Makoto had told Rin about him not wanting to swim professionally.  These silent treatments last anywhere from a day to several weeks, and each time leaves Makoto in a state of nervous depression which he tries desperately to hide from everyone around him.

            This is the first time he’s ever experienced a fourth level of silent treatment from Haru.  And this time, Makoto isn’t sure their friendship will ever recover.

            It’s worse than just a cold shoulder and silence.  There’s an aura of real, pure anger radiating off Haru toward Makoto, and he’s glad they only had to stay one night in the hotel for Regionals.  They leave before finals starts, mostly on his insistence that he needs to take care of his siblings, but he knows that everyone else can see how upset Haru is.  For the first time in his life, Makoto can’t read the other swimmer, and it terrifies him.

            Haru doesn’t contact him the rest of the weekend, and the next week is awful.  He can feel his mask slipping, though (to their benefit) none of the rest of the team says anything.  He and Haru stop walking home together completely.  The first few days, Makoto had stayed back and waited for him, but Haru didn’t even glance in his direction before he dove back in the pool for a few more laps.  Luckily, Amakata-sensei stays behind to keep an eye on him, so Makoto doesn’t have to worry about him spending the night there at least.

            He stops checking his phone partway through the week, no longer sure why he did in the first place.  Rin hasn’t texted him.

            Ironic that Makoto had been the one most concerned about not hurting Haru with their affair, and in the end he’d ended up hurting both himself and Haru.  Rin probably feels guilty, Makoto thinks, the guilt curling in his own gut.  He had tried to stop Haru from finding out, even there at the end.  And when Makoto had stood there, frozen in place by the betrayal in Haru’s eyes, Rin had tried to run after him.  He owes the other a thank you, if nothing else.

            And yet, Makoto can’t bring himself to pick up his phone and actually send it.

            The week passes simultaneously too fast and agonizingly slow, and soon they are leaving on break for Obon.  He knows that, as captain, he’s supposed to say something to them at the end of their last practice together, but then Haru walks away to the pool again, and Makoto is left tongue tied, staring after him.

            He showers with Rei and Nagisa that afternoon, listening to their voices wash over him, as meaningless as the water.  It takes him a bit to notice that Nagisa is trying to get his attention.

            “..ko-chan.  Makoto!”

            He opens his eyes, blinking the water and leftover shampoo from them.  “Sorry, I wasn’t listening.  What did you say?”

            Nagisa is standing in his stall, smiling up at him, and Makoto is suddenly glad that he never takes off his suit when he showers in the locker room.  “I was saying that Rei-chan and I are planning to go to the festival together with Gou-chan, and you and Haru-chan should come too.”

            “Have you already invited Haru?”

            Nagisa shakes his head.  “Nope!  He’s always swimming whenever I want to talk, and me and Rei-chan have to catch the train home.  I leave it to you, Mako-chan!”  There’s a swish as the curtain closes behind him, leaving Makoto alone in the shower once more.

            He waits until he hears the other two leave before finally turning off the water and getting out to change.  The first day he and Haru didn’t walk home together, Makoto had rushed to get out, not wanting to run into the other.  Now, he realizes it doesn’t matter.  Haru will swim until Amakata-sensei makes him get out, which probably isn’t until sunset.

            Makoto changes slowly, thinking about what Nagisa had said.  He doesn’t want to have to invite Haru to the festival.  He hasn’t tried talking to Haru, and to be honest, he’s terrified what will happen if he does.  But Nagisa and Rei are both expecting it, and they said even Gou was going to be there.  He can’t _not_ try.

            Why does it have to be him anyway?  Why can’t Nagisa or Rei or Gou ask Haru?  It’s always been like this.  Whenever someone wanted to do something it was always _Makoto, you and Haru should come_.  He wonders when that started; when he became ‘Makoto and Haru’ instead of just Makoto.  He thinks back as far as that day when Haru had almost drowned, and something twinges in his chest.  He might have been part of the entity ‘Makoto and Haru’ before then, but that was the day he realized the _we_ he wanted and the _we_ they already were, were two different things.

            So, then, maybe he’d never had an identity outside of Haru.

            Maybe he never will.

            The thought continues to plague him as he slings his bag over his shoulder and makes his way back to his house.  He glances at the pool as he leaves, seeing splashing and the distinct umbrella that he knows is Amakata-sensei’s.  There really is no point waiting for Haru, is there?

            The kittens are already waiting for him on the steps, and he tosses his bag aside in favor of joining them.  Makoto has always had an affinity for animals, and he even remembers his parents asking why he doesn’t go into veterinary science.  The thought has never appealed to him, and even now he wonders why.  Animals are easier to understand than people.

            The kittens, for example, just wanted attention, even though they went about it different ways.  The black one crawled immediately over to him when sat down, laying so its back was pressed against his leg.  The red tabby, though, jumped onto his lap and rubbed up against his hand until he scratched behind its ears.  It got bored with simply being pet after a while and started to play with Makoto’s fingers, nipping at them playfully and jumping all over the place, landing on the other and earning a hiss for disturbing its sleep.

            But even as he sits there, playing with the kittens to pass the time while he waits for Haru to arrive, he can’t help but think that a job with animals is something he couldn’t do.  At least not full time.  And it isn’t because he doesn’t think he’s smart enough (Rin would go nuts and lecture him for ages if he said something like that); it’s because it wouldn’t make him happy.  He wants a job where he can help people, make a difference in someone’s life. 

            A job that takes him far away from here.

            The black kitten raises its head, and the tabby freezes in its actions, staring down at the base of the stairs.  Makoto looks up and sees Haru starting to ascend and stands up, sending the two kittens running for the alley.  There’s a moment where Haru finally lifts his eyes, and their gazes meet for the first time since Regionals.

            Then the moment ends and Haru’s walking up the stairs and past him, leaving Makoto frozen behind him.  He shakes himself from it, turning around and racing up after Haru, trying to catch him before he reaches his home.  “Haru, wait!”

            Makoto doesn’t think Haru really will stop and wait, but he does.  It surprises him so much that he freezes three stairs below the other and just stares at his back.  Is the silent treatment over?  Can they be friends again?  Is it too much to hope for?

            “Um…”  He almost forgets what he has to say, but Haru interrupts him before he can say more than that.

            “When we were kids, I asked you to call me Nanase, remember?”  Haru’s back is still to him, and Makoto’s heart sinks.

            “Yes,” he says softly.  “Haru –“

            “But you still insisted on calling me Haru, and sometimes even Haru-chan, though I tell you to drop the chan.”

            He gets it, really he does.  Haru doesn’t want to be friends with him anymore.  But that doesn’t mean Makoto wants to hear it.  “Wait, Haru, please…”

            “I thought your lack of respect for what I wanted ended at that.  I thought my name was your limit, and I was willing to give you that.”

            This time Makoto doesn’t have anything to say.  Haru’s shoulders are shaking, his hands balled into fists, and Makoto thinks that he might actually be crying.  He’s never seen Haru cry.  His own fingers dig into his palms, the fingernails leaving little crescents there that he’ll find later.

            “What I want doesn’t matter to you, does it?  You go around making swim teams and calling me whatever you feel like and sleeping with…”  Haru trails off before finally turning around.  He isn’t crying and there are no signs he was.  But that doesn’t make him look any less hurt through the anger, and Makoto really does forget what he was going to ask.

            “Haru,” he says, taking a step up.  “I never meant to hurt you.”

            The other backs away from him, up the stairs until more distance is between them than before.  “It’s too late for that.”  And then he’s gone, taking the stairs two at a time, his back to Makoto as if he couldn’t get away from him fast enough.

            Makoto heads back home, nearly forgetting his swim bag on the steps, which is now occupied by the tabby.  He shoos it away and grabs it, unable to even muster a fake smile for his family.  He ends up skipping dinner and going straight to his room, but even as he lies in bed staring at the ceiling, he can’t fall asleep.

            His phone buzzes and he ignores it, but it keeps buzzing.  A call then, instead of a text.  He lies there, letting it go to voicemail rather than answering it, but a text comes after.  He grabs it, even though he _knows_ it’s not Haru, and looks to see who it is anyway.  Both the call and the text were Rin.  He opens it, fearing the worst, and there, blazing black against the whiteness of his screen are the few little words: _we need to talk_.

* * *

 

            The decision to end his friendship with Makoto comes surprisingly easy to Haru.  Easier than anything else.  He still didn’t know what to do about swimming, his future, if they were related, and Rin.  Rin most of all.  He had gone to the other’s room with the full intention of confessing his feelings and asking for advice.  When that crashed and burned, he was left lost, grasping.

            Swimming extra time this week didn’t make him feel any better.  He had thought that the extra laps alone would help him reconnect with the water, but it hadn’t.  The pool had remained silent and dead to him, like it was to everyone else.  _The water is alive_.  What bullshit.

            When he finally climbs out at sunset on the last day before break, Amakata-sensei is standing there, under her umbrella, waiting for him.  “Nanase-kun, is everything alright?”

            The only thing worse that Makoto worrying about him is an adult worrying about him.  They always try to help, and it is never anything valuable.  “Yes,” he says curtly.  It’s rude, he knows that.  It’s also a lie.  But he doesn’t want her asking any more questions.  It’s not like he can explain it to her anyway.

            He can’t take a long shower either.  Not with her waiting just on the other side of the locker room door, waiting to make sure he doesn’t jump back in the pool after she leaves.  But he doesn’t want to either.  He just wants to get the stench of chlorine, once so appealing to him, out of his hair and off his body.  Even a long bath at home doesn’t tempt him.  She locks up behind them so he can’t get back in, but he doesn’t even stare at the pool in goodbye this time.  It doesn’t care that he’s gone.  Why should it?

            He doesn’t notice Makoto sitting on the steps until he sees a movement above him and looks up.  Anger, betrayal, sadness, all course through him, and Haru can’t look at him anymore.  He’s almost free before the other calls him.  He knew it was too good to be true.  And when he talks, the words fall from his lips, no longer held back by his tongue.  It’s good, he decides, that Makoto’s hurt.

            Maybe now he’ll know how it feels.

            Haru goes to bed without dinner either.  He knows the festival is the next day, and the next morning his phone buzzes with texts and calls from Nagisa, no doubt wondering where he is.  The sound annoys him, and he shuts it off.  He doesn’t want to go to a festival, especially not one with his teammates.  There’s a good chance Makoto will be there, and he’s the last person Haru wants to see.  Ever.

            He’s still not particularly hungry, but his stomach feels empty and he should eat something.  It’s late into the afternoon by the time he finally gets up to make something.  But then Haru just stands in the kitchen, staring around at the clean pans and scrubbed counters and doesn’t move.  Everything sounds disgusting to him, so he leaves and just lies back down on his bed, trying not to think about anything.

            But then there’s a dinging sound echoing through the house, and Haru realizes someone is ringing the doorbell.  It’s probably Nagisa, so Haru pulls the covers over his head to block out the sound.

            But the ringing doesn’t stop.  Finally irritated, Haru stands up and stalks to the door.  He opens it with more force than he originally intended, ready to tell whoever’s there to leave him alone and let him wallow in peace.  Seeing who it is causes him to freeze.

            “Rin…”

            The other is dressed in a nicer button down and jeans than his usual outfit.  He looks a little embarrassed, and Haru notices a faint bruise on his cheek bone.  He doesn’t say anything about it though.  Rin doesn’t give him the chance anyway.

            “Get changed, come on let’s go.”

            “Go?  Where are we going?”  He doesn’t remember making plans with Rin.  He doesn’t remember _talking_ to Rin.  And that’s something he would definitely remember.  Yet here he is, standing on Haru’s doorstep, as if they had made plans that Haru should know about.

            “Isn’t it obvious?”  Rin asks, motioning to the sky behind him.  The sun is starting to set, but other than that Haru doesn’t know what he’s talking about.  Rin must understand that, because he clarifies.  “We’re going to watch the fireworks.”

           


	19. Last Chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything that can go wrong, does go wrong. Also known as: The Festival

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter hurt me a hell of a lot more than it will hurt you. Maybe.
> 
> Sorry if it's a bit choppy, this is the longest chapter and therefore took longer to write (meaning I was exhausted as I edited). I can always fix little mistakes here and there later though if you/I see any. Don't worry though, the next chapter things will start looking up. We're super close to the end after all.
> 
> Information on the sequel and future Free! works at the end, as well as a survey (because you know how I feel about surveys). See you next Monday!

            Going to the festival with Rin isn’t nearly as bad as Haru thought it would be.  Probably because it’s Rin he goes with.  He’s nervous about running into the others at first, but he’s either very lucky or Rin knows something, because they never do.  They still have time before the fireworks start when they get there, so Rin drags him around to look at the stalls.  He doesn’t resist, mostly because this is Rin who doesn’t put up with things like that.  (Unlike Makoto, who does.  Did.  Past tense now.)

            There’s a moment where he thinks he sees Rei and Nagisa, but Rin chooses that time to steer him into a food booth insisting he should eat something.  “Come on, Haru.  I even picked the one that only serves seafood.  Maybe they have mackerel.”

            Mackerel doesn’t appeal to him.  Not even a little.  But they don’t have any anyway, so he doesn’t have to pretend to want it so Rin doesn’t worry.  He wonders if Makoto called him after Haru went home.  He wonders if that’s why Rin’s here right now.

            Rin ends up buying him squid, fish, and some kabob mix of shrimp and vegetables, so it’s not like Haru can say no.  He’s about to sit down at one of the free spots, but Rin looks at him like he’s grown two heads.  “What are you doing?  We’re gonna go watch the fireworks, remember?”

            He gives a half nod and stands to follow Rin.  The redhead shoves the fish and squid at him, carrying the kabob himself (he has a second one which must be for himself), but doesn’t lead like Haru expects.  Instead he walks alongside him, making short comments about the stands around them and the patterns on the kimonos and yukatas on the people wearing traditional garb.  It takes a while for Haru to notice where they’re walking.

            He only notices because Rin stops talking and he realizes that it’s completely silent around them.  Rin seems to notice him looking around, because he speaks up.  “I know you don’t like crowds.  And I figured you might want to be alone.  Or…sort of alone.”  They’re atop a hill, but they’ve walked far enough from the festival that the rest of the crowd isn’t here, even if it is a nice view of where the fireworks will be.

            Haru wants to thank him, he does.  But he remembers that Rin is probably only doing this because Makoto told him to, and so he stops the words before he can even open his mouth.  They sit next to each other on the grass, and Rin passes over one of the shrimp kabobs.  The silence is deafening, so Haru eats it to give him something better to do than think.  He hadn’t noticed how hungry he was until he took that first bite.  Now, though, he realizes he’s starving.  He eats through the fish and the squid in record time before going at the shrimp.  When he’s done, Rin hands over the second one.

            “I figured you probably hadn’t eaten for a while.”

            “What about you?”  Haru hesitates before taking the stick.  They’re the first words he’s spoken to Rin since they left his house. 

            But that doesn’t seem to faze the redhead, who just shrugs and stands up.  “I’m more thirsty than anything.  I saw a vending machine back there.  Want anything?”  At Haru’s shrug, he turns.  “I’ll get you something anyway.”

            With Rin gone, Haru slips back into his melancholy again.  He can’t even say he had gotten out of it earlier when they were wandering around.  But it had dulled a little in the face of Rin’s presence.  He doesn’t even know why he’s here.  Why he even bothered to come with his rival turned enemy turned friend who doesn’t have the same feelings towards Haru that Haru does for him.

            And yet, that spark of hope still shines in his chest.  Rin brought him here, to the top of a hill where they can be alone, to watch fireworks.  He even bought Haru food because he thought Haru might be hungry.  And now he’s off buying a drink for him too, because he knows Haru’s going to be thirsty once he finishes the second shrimp kabob.

            It’s like a date.

            Haru tries to push that thought down, because if he lets it grow now, then it’s going to hurt so much worse when it’s crushed.

            But Rin is the romantic one.  He’s the one who wrote the essay in elementary school about ‘My Shining’ and wants to swim in a pool of sakura petals.  It’s impossible to believe the person who comes up with those things would be ignorant of the situation they were in.

            His thoughts are interrupted by a blinding flash of light followed by a boom.  The fireworks have started.  “Damn, did I miss anything?”  Haru jumps, relieved he’d finished his food or else he would’ve spilled it all over himself.  Between his thoughts and the fireworks, he hadn’t heard Rin’s footsteps approaching.

            But here he is, sitting on the grass beside him, handing over a bottle of water like it’s the most normal thing in the world.  Rin’s attention is diverted almost instantly by the fireworks show, and Haru looks reluctantly away.  They aren’t talking.  They haven’t been all day.  Or at least, Haru hasn’t.  But now that Rin is letting the fireworks and faint sounds of people cheering fill the silence, it’s more obvious.

            “Haru,” Rin says softly after a while.  The lights and booms are still going off, but for some reason that one word sounds so much louder.  He doesn’t respond, but he looks over at the other.  Rin isn’t looking at him.  He’s staring straight ahead, and for the first time that night, Haru realizes the butterflier hasn’t smiled the whole time.  “I’m sorry.”

            “What?”  Haru’s sure he heard wrong.

            “I tried not to pressure you too much to continue swimming, but…I guess I kinda failed huh?”  He gives a fake laugh, and Haru hates it.

            “No,” he replies firmly.  “Rin –“

            “Wait, Haru.  Let me finish.  Please.”

            Maybe it’s the light from the fireworks, but suddenly Haru’s attention is brought to the bruise on Rin’s cheek again.  He hasn’t asked about it.  He wonders if something happened.  He wonders if it’s related to that dismal look in his eyes.  He doesn’t say anything, and Rin takes it as his cue to continue.

            “I really do want to swim with you on the international stage, Haru.  You’re the best rival I could ever ask for, and I wanted to see it to the very end.”  And when Rin finally turns to look at him, Haru can see his eyes shining with unshed tears.  How very like Rin.  “I’ve always admired you.  I think that it doesn’t matter what you decide to do; you’ll be the best at anything.  I really do believe that.”

            “Rin –“

            The redhead holds up a hand.  “I’m not done.”  Haru closes his mouth obediently, but Rin takes a moment to continue.  “I shouldn’t have hidden what Makoto and I were doing from you.  Hell, I shouldn’t have even done anything with him.  I mean, I know how he feels about you.  I knew it from the beginning.”  Haru doesn’t interrupt, even when Rin lets that slip.  “And Haru, you have to believe me when I say it didn’t mean anything.  Especially on his side.  Makoto doesn’t even…we didn’t sleep together.  He’s saving himself for someone special.  You.”

            It doesn’t surprise him to find out Makoto has feelings for him.  After all the time they’d spent together, he’d started to notice.  What does surprise him is that he would do something with some else despite those feelings.  And not just anyone.  Rin.  The person Makoto _knows_ he’s in love with.  “Rin –“ he tries to interrupt again; to put a stop to this speech before it gets out of hand.

            But Rin doesn’t let him. 

            “Haru, please.  Please just listen to me.”  They’re bathed in light again as the next round of fireworks go off.  It’s brighter and louder than all the previous ones, and Haru thinks absently that this must be the finale.  “Look, I know there’s a better way to say this, and I’ve been thinking about it all night, but I just can’t come up with one so bear with me.”  He pauses and takes a deep breath as if it’s going to take a large effort to say his next words.  “You should date Makoto.  I know you’re probably mad at him, and he told me you have feelings for someone else, but Haru.  Haru.”  He reaches out as if to grab Haru’s arm, but then stops himself, clenching his hand into a fist against the grass and staring down at it.  “You’re not going to find anyone better than Makoto.  And whoever you claim to like…they aren’t going to treat you as well as Makoto would or love you as deeply.”

            “And I know,” Rin continues before Haru can interrupt him, “that you might be mad at him for telling me you like anyone at all.  But you have to believe me.  Makoto…he loves you so much Haru.  And whatever was happening between us…it’s over, and that shouldn’t stop you from choosing him in the end.”

            Haru’s dumbstruck, and he just stares at the crown of Rin’s head as the last of the light fades from view.  They stay frozen like that as the sounds of the crowd dispersing reaches the top of the hill where they’re still alone.  When his eyes finally adjust to the light of just the moon and the stars, Haru finally notices Rin’s shoulders shaking.  He’s crying.

            He doesn’t know how it will make it any better, but it can’t possibly make it any worse, so Haru finally speaks up.  “I love you.”

            That makes Rin look up.  He doesn’t even have a chance to wipe his eyes, and he just stares at Haru, his mouth half open.  “What?”

            “I love you,” he repeats.  It can’t possibly make it any worse.

            “I…I don’t understand.”

            He sighs.  It’s painful, telling Rin this.  But in a way it’s freeing.  Now there are no more secrets.  “You’re the one I’m in love with, Rin.”  And because he knows Rin’s going to ask more questions, he just explains it as concisely as he can.  “That’s why I’m mad at Makoto.  Because he knows, but he did it anyway.”

            Haru isn’t sure how he expects Rin to react to this, but what he doesn’t expect is the flash of hopelessness and fear that crosses Rin’s face.  He’s still staring at him, mouth open, and Haru suddenly wants to kiss that look away.  It can’t make anything worse, so he leans in.

            But then Rin’s pushing him away, his nails biting into Haru’s arms.  “Please,” he begs.  Haru doesn’t think he’s heard the other say please so many times in his life.  “I’ve already lost two friends.  I don’t want to lose you too.”

            Rin’s crying again, but it’s not like the times Haru’s seen him before.  These aren’t the same tears Rin shed when he lost that race or wanted to swim with him again.  These are the helpless tears of a heartbroken man, and if Haru doesn’t look away he’s going to cry too.  He pulls the other into his shoulder before he can, and feels Rin’s back shudder with the effort even though he makes no sound.

            They stay like that a while; Haru holding Rin while Rin tries to calm down.  And when he finally does, he pulls away and Haru doesn’t try to stop him.  Rin’s eyes are bloodshot, but Haru doesn’t say anything.  He just stands up and offers Rin his hand.  Both their legs had fallen asleep, he can tell by the way Rin walks, but they don’t say anything.  Haru throws away the sticks and empty bottles away as they walk back to his place.  He almost invites Rin in, but he knows the other will say no, so they just hover outside the door awkwardly.

            “Goo –“

            “I heard from my coach in Australia.”  His goodnight is cut off when Rin finally speaks.  Haru shuts his mouth and waits for the other to continue.  “He wants me to swim for his team but said it was easier if I transferred from a university up here.”  He pauses.  “The university here that he wants me to attend is the same one Sousuke is going to.”

            This time the pause is longer, and Haru understands that he’s supposed to say something.  “Oh.”

            Rin nods.  He opens his mouth like he has more to say on the subject, then shakes his head.  “Thanks for going with me to see the fireworks, Haru.”  Haru nods once in response, and Rin turns away.  He stops before he gets too far, his back still turned to Haru.

            “Think about what I said.”  Rin doesn’t need to turn around or even raise his voice for Haru to hear him.  He doesn’t nod this time, but it doesn’t matter; Rin’s already halfway down the stairs.

* * *

 

**Earlier that day**

            Rin had texted Makoto telling him that they needed to talk, but Makoto still hasn’t responded.  Rin’s starting to get worried, and he’s about to call Makoto to tell him he’s on his way anyway, when the door to his dorm room opens and Sousuke walks in.  Rin freezes.

            He hasn’t seen Sousuke since their…  And the only sign the other had even been in the room were a few rearranged books on his desk that Sousuke must’ve moved while Rin was out for his morning run. 

            The worst part is that their fight didn’t even happen that long ago, but Rin still feels like he’s been living in a room with a ghost for the past day.  Sousuke walks over to his closet and pulls out the bag he uses to take home on the weekend.  It’s already packed.  When did he have time to pack that?  The other swimmer doesn’t acknowledge his presence, and is already turning to leave when Rin finds his courage.

            “Sousuke, wait.”  He barely raises his voice, not sure if he wants the other to do what he says.

            To his surprise, Sousuke stops.  He should’ve thought of what he wanted to say before he stopped him, but he didn’t.  And if he doesn’t speak soon, Sousuke’s gonna walk out that door, and Rin isn’t sure he can take it a second time.

            “I’m sorry.”  Those words are horribly weak as an apology for what he did, he knows that.  But Rin can’t think of anything else, so he says it again.  “Sousuke, I’m so sorry.  If I’d have known –“

            “Rin.”  His name alone is enough to cut him off.  Sousuke sighs, not turning to face him.  “I know.  I just need some time to myself to figure some things out.”

            It’s not an acceptance.  But it’s not a rejection either.  “Sou–“

            “I’ll see you at Nationals, Rin.”  Sousuke dismisses him.  He isn’t cold, but he isn’t warm either.  And as the other walks off, Rin turns to stare at the letter sitting on top of his desk, wondering if he’ll ever get the chance to swim alongside his best friend again.

\---

            Makoto looks like shit when he finally answers the door.  Under any other circumstances, Rin would’ve commented on it, but today he doesn’t think he looks any better.  In fact, judging by some of the looks he was getting when he rode the train by himself to get here, he would guess he looks just as bad.

            The backstroker doesn’t even say anything to him.  He just lets Rin in and wanders up to his bedroom, leaving the redhead behind to close the door and take off his shoes.  He makes sure to close the door to Makoto’s bedroom behind himself too, even though they appear to be alone in the house.  “Haru’s that mad?”  He asks, guessing the reason for Makoto’s silence.

            “He doesn’t want to be friends anymore.”

            Ouch.  “I’m sure that’s not true,” Rin assures, sitting next to Makoto on the bed and reaching out to rest his hand on the other’s arm.  He tries not to be too hurt when the other snatches it away, but he can’t fight off the pang in his chest.  Makoto isn’t looking at him either, which just makes his chest hurt worse.

            “So…how come you aren’t at the festival?”  He tries, letting his hand return to his side.  He’s slept in this bed before, but that feels like ages past.  This person sitting next to him isn’t the same Makoto he spent the night with, babysitting his siblings and playing video games.

            This Makoto doesn’t even seem interested in making small talk.  “You wanted to talk.”

            Rin swallows.  Makoto’s eyes are dead to the world, and it’s all his fault.  He always knew Makoto was going to end up with Haru in the end; Makoto had even confessed his feelings to Rin multiple times.  But Rin is a fighter, and he’ll go down swinging before he admits defeat.  “I have something to tell you, Makoto.”  Something he should’ve said a long time ago.  “I…uh…I have…feelings for you.”

            Makoto doesn’t even move.

            “I care about you.”

            Still nothing.

            “As more than just friends-with-benefits.”

            “Rin,” Makoto says in a voice as empty as his eyes.  “Let’s end this.”

            “Did you hear what I said?”

            Makoto still hasn’t moved, and suddenly Rin just wants to see him react.  He doesn’t even care how.  He just hates this emotionless, empty Makoto.

            He stands up and moves so he’s standing in front of Makoto.  “Sleep with me.”  When Makoto doesn’t do anything, Rin sits on his legs so he’s straddling him.  He expects something from that, but still nothing.

            It pisses him off.

            “Is this because of Haru?”

            The sound of Haru’s name finally brings Makoto out of whatever trance he’d fallen into.  He seems genuinely surprised that Rin is in his lap, but not enough to actually do anything about it.  Which just pisses Rin off even more.  First he lost his best friend because he’s in love with Makoto, and now he’s going to lose Makoto to his rival.  He just can’t catch a break.

            “Why are you so invested in someone you don’t think you have a chance with?”  Now Makoto’s listening.  His mouth is open in this dumb confused look, and it makes Rin so angry he can barely think.  So he jabs Makoto in the chest with his finger.  “Even you said he’s in love with someone else!”

            His voice is raised, practically to the point of hysterics, and even though Rin knows, _he knows_ , he shouldn’t be saying any of this, he can’t stop himself.  Makoto still isn’t saying anything.  He’s just staring at Rin like he doesn’t quite know what he’s supposed to be looking at.

            “All you’ve ever been is an annoyance” – that’s not true – “a hindrance” – what is he saying – “someone he only thinks of as a second thought” – Makoto’s starting to look angry, he should stop – “who isn’t even good enough to be his rival!”  The look on Makoto’s face probably mirrors the one on Rin’s own, right now.  He knows he should stop.  He _knows_ this.  Any further, and he’ll lose his chance with Makoto.  Not that he ever had one in the first place.  Rin opens his mouth and delivers the final blow.

            “Haru will _never_ love you, Makoto.  He’s already chosen someone who’s _better than you_.”

            The punch takes him completely by surprise.  One minute he’s sitting on Makoto’s lap, heaving like he ran a mile as he watches the words sink into the other’s head, and the next he’s lying on the ground, his cheek throbbing in pain.

            It’s stupid, he thinks as he sees Makoto standing above him with his fists at his side.  He doesn’t even know who Haru likes; all he knows is that everything he said was a lie.  There is no one better than Makoto.  There never will be.

            He sits up and rubs his cheek, as Makoto seems to realize what he’s just done.  He still looks angry, but he also seems horrified at his own actions.  Rin wonders if Makoto’s ever punched anyone before.  Seems appropriate that he’s the first.  A lot of people probably want to punch him.  He’s still surprised Haru never took his chance the year before.

            When Makoto backs away, the horror now overpowering the anger in his expression, Rin stands.  The guilt rushes up to meet him at the top, and he almost apologizes.  “I think you should go,” Makoto says softly before he can, and Rin nods.

            The backstroker doesn’t see him to the door, and Rin doesn’t do anything childish like slam it behind him as he leaves.  His words did more than enough damage, and unlike a punch or a broken door, he can’t do anything to fix them.

            Rin makes it a little ways away from Makoto’s house before sinking down to the ground in a hidden alley between houses.  Losing two close friends in the span of two days has to be a record of some sort.  He should get a medal.

            It takes him a long time to calm down enough to where he can stand up and make his way up to Haru’s house.  He may not be able to fix things on Makoto’s end, but there might be something he can do to make things right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Future plans:  
> As mentioned, there will be a sequel to this fic. It will be SouHaru, but I know a lot of people are against that, so the end of this fic will be worded in a way that you don't have to continue and you can pretend they don't get together in the end. For those of you on the fence about the pairing, there will be no rape, no hate-sex, and no acquaintances-with-benefits between those two. Unlike Makoto and Rin, Sousuke and Haru will get together the right way: acquaintance -> friends -> feelings -> relationship. There will also be plenty of glimpses into MakoRin's future.
> 
> Before that sequel comes out, though, I will take a break of 1 week - 1 month from this universe to try and get out more of those one-shot prompts you guys gave me before. I have the next one half written, and it was interrupted by my horribly behind-schedule NaNoWriMo novel.
> 
> I am also planning to start a second longer fic, because I think I can focus on 2 fics at a time. You all know that I like to do surveys, so I have provided a link for you all to vote on my next full length fic: https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/HZQXXRN


	20. Sleepless Nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haru wants to forget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a whole other idea in mind originally when I was going to write this chapter, since I wanted to stay true to the whole "Makoto and Haru get some action" thing that was voted in. But I decided I don't hate you enough to do that, so the MakoHaru pairing will ONLY be one-sided in this fic. Because it's actually less painful this way. Trust me.
> 
> Happy birthday Makoto! I decided not to ruin your life today~

            Rin’s words ring in his head the remainder of the night, preventing Haru from falling asleep.  He lies in bed, tossing and turning abnormally, trying to get the look on Rin’s face when Haru tried to kiss him out of his head.  But as minutes turn to hours, nothing changes.

            Finally Haru gives up and tosses his blankets off.  The alarm clock in his room cruelly reads 3:05 am, and he tosses his shirt over it as he walks out.  He doesn’t even bother changing into his suit, choosing instead to bathe naked for once.  The water is only lukewarm when he fills the tub, but Haru couldn’t care less, stopping the tub and climbing in.

            He reclines back against the porcelain, closing his eyes and waiting for his mind to go blank like it normally does in the bath.  But it doesn’t.  Rin’s face is there again, hopeless and fearful and lost.

            Haru opens his eyes and sinks below the water, letting the silence swallow him.  He keeps his eyes open this time, not wanting the images to plague him again.  But this is even worse.  The blurred ceiling, illuminated by the moon just reminds him of the bottom of the pool at Regionals.  How it looked when he dove in rushing past him.  And how it stilled as he slowed down.

            The water is suffocating him again.  Choking him, holding him down.  Haru sits bolt upright in the bath, gasping for breath.  He brings his fingers to his neck, feeling a phantom hand grabbing his windpipe, suffocating him.  Nothing’s there.

            He drains the tub, shivering as the water level sinks.  It’s trying to pull him down, to take him with it, and Haru can’t handle it anymore.  He climbs out of the tub before it’s fully drained, struggling to grab his towel.

            Rin’s admiration is misplaced.  Haru can’t do anything he wants.  He can’t even take a bath.

            Swimming on the international stage had never sounded appealing before, but being around Rin made him want to do it.  Swimming is – was – the only thing he cared about.  It’s the only thing he imagined doing forever.  But no one had ever told him about the pressure.  That people he had never even talked to before would care so much about his times when he cared so little.

            And it’s not Rin’s fault Haru didn’t know that.  Rin had always been there, pushing Haru to care about things like times and places.  If anything, Haru should’ve realized it would be like if he went any further with his swimming.

            It’s not Makoto’s fault either.  Makoto had never pushed Haru to care.  He’d never pushed Haru to do anything he didn’t want to do.

            No.  Thinking about Makoto is too painful.  Thinking about Rin is too.  Thinking about anything is.  He needs to forget.  He wants his mind blank.  The pool used to supply him with that, and when it couldn’t the bath did.  But neither are helping him out now.  He can’t make the problem disappear by swimming when swimming is one of the problems.

            How do normal people deal with having their thoughts in a jumble all the time?  How do they survive?  This is horrible.  Haru feels like he’s going to explode, and he just wants to forget.  If only there were some kind of numbing drug or magical cure to make him forget, even just long enough to sleep.

            Oh.

            There is one way.  It’s a terrible, horrible, awful idea.  He knows this, but it doesn’t stop him as he approaches his parents’ liquor cabinet.

* * *

 

            The buzzing of his phone is what wakes Makoto up from his (miraculously) dreamless sleep at 3:20 in the morning.  He stares around in confusion, not realizing that was what caused it at first.  The bright light of his phone gives it away, and he figures it out.  He grabs his glasses and stares at the screen, not understanding at first.

            It goes dark and Makoto has to click the button again to prove to himself that he’s not going crazy.  But he’s not, and the name is still there shining innocently on his screen.

            Nanase Haru.

            He doesn’t realize how scared he is to see what it has to say until it takes three times for his shaking finger to open the message.  He could pass it off as sleep deprivation, but he’s not sure who exactly he’d be trying to fool with that one.

            The only thing more confusing than the fact Haru had texted him at all is the message.  Two words, that’s all.  But somehow they don’t make any sense to Makoto at all.

            _Come over._

            When the meaning finally sinks in, Makoto tosses the phone on his bed and bolts out of his room.  He doesn’t even bother changing and barely remembers to slip on his shoes before he’s out the door.  Makoto takes the stairs two at a time up to Haru’s house, heading straight for the front door.  It should be locked, but it opens easily, allowing Makoto to burst inside. 

            It’s mostly dark, aside from a light coming from Haru’s living room, and suddenly Makoto’s nervous.  He closes the door and takes off his shoes, setting them side by side with more care than necessary.  The extra slippers are sitting there, as if waiting for him, even though Makoto knows Haru didn’t do that; he’s the one who sets them there every time he leaves.

            He slips them on anyway, finally walking into the house.  He glances into the living room and sees Haru sitting at the table, holding his phone in his hand.  There’s a distinct smell of alcohol, Makoto notices, and when he looks around, the source is revealed to be a shattered bottle of sake lying across the room.

            He doesn’t say anything about that.  He doesn’t say anything at all.  Makoto just steps into the room, sitting across the table from Haru, making sure he’s far enough from the liquid pooled around the shattered glass.

            Makoto’s nervous.  Too nervous to say anything.  So he just sits there and waits for Haru to say something.

            But Haru doesn’t.  And Makoto’s nerves change from being scared of what Haru has to say to being scared of the silence.  “Haru –“

            He starts, cut off by the other finally choosing this time to speak up.  “Rin wants me to give you a chance.”

            Haru isn’t looking at him, and he doesn’t look like he has anything more to say than that.  “You’re forgiving me because Rin asked you to?”  He finally asks.  Whatever filter he had before is clearly gone.  It’s like Rin took it with him when Makoto sent him away.

            “No.  I’m not forgiving you.”

            “Oh.”

            Haru’s knuckles tighten around the phone he still has in his hand.  “Rin told me how you feel about me.  He told me I should choose you.”  It’s clear from the tone of voice what Haru thinks about that.

            It makes Makoto a little bitter too.  “Do you always do everything Rin tells you to?”

            Haru looks sharply up at him, making eye contact for the first time that night.  Makoto expects anger.  Hatred.  Something.  Instead what he sees is nothing.  Emptiness.  “You’re not denying it.”

            “There isn’t a point anymore.”  When he had hope, he used to dream of how he’d confess to Haru.  He’d give a big speech in his mind about all the good qualities Haru has and how they’re meant to be.  But those dreams ended years ago, when Haru’s fixation on Rin never passed.  “Yes.  I’m in love with you.  Always have been.”

            Haru nods once, like he expected nothing less.  It’s frustrating. 

            “So what are you going to do now?  Date me out of pity?”

            Haru shakes his head.  “That’s not why I called you over here.”

            “Haru,” Makoto hangs his head.  “I can’t play mind games with you.  If you want me here so you can yell at me more, then I’m going home.  I can’t do this anymore.”

            “Makoto, I can’t forgive you.  And I can’t just forget what you did either.” 

            He stands up to leave, but Haru lunges across the table and grabs his arm, and for the first time that night, Makoto sees real emotions in his eyes.  “Wait.”  He does.  Even here, at the end of the line, Haru has a hold on his heart.  “Tell me what to do.”

            That’s new.  Makoto doesn’t expect that.  “What?”

            “Rin thinks…He thinks I can just do anything and be good at it.  He doesn’t…I need you to tell me.”  The words must’ve taken some effort, and Makoto can see the desperation written clearly on his face.

            In fact, the words surprise Makoto so much he doesn’t register what Haru’s asking for a full minute.  “You want me to tell you what to do for your future?”  Haru neither confirms nor denies it, but he releases his grip on Makoto, and that’s answer enough.  “Haru, I don’t even know my own dream.”

            Haru looks away, back down at the table.  “The water is rejecting me.”  His voice is so soft Makoto barely catches it, but he does.  He’s always known Haru has this strange connection with the water, and he’s always just accepted it.  It might seem strange to everyone else, but the evidence is in the way Haru swims through the water.  It’s so effortless, that sometimes Makoto believes what Haru says.  _The water is alive_.

            But reality always crashes down, making Makoto remember.  Water is just water.  Two parts hydrogen and one part oxygen, as Rei would tell them.  It doesn’t have a consciousness that loves Haru more than anyone else.  He knows that more than anything.

            Makoto sits down beside Haru, resisting the urge to wrap his arm around the other’s shoulder.  “Do you remember the old swim club?  Back when we were kids?”  Haru doesn’t nod, but Makoto knows he’s listening.  “There was one day you were acting strange.  You were running past Aki-chan, remember her?  And her scarf fell into the river.  It was freezing outside, and I think you already had a fever, but you jumped in after it to save it for her anyway.”  He doubts Haru needs to hear it to remember the event.  It’s not something so easily forgotten.

            “I was with Rin when we found you and pulled you out of the river.  You probably don’t remember this, because you were passed out.”  It’s still a painful memory, not one Makoto likes to visit.  “We called an ambulance and got you to the hospital, and they saved you.  I was afraid for you.  Your life most of all.  I couldn’t stop shaking; Rin noticed that.  But when the initial fear passed and I knew you’d be ok, I became afraid of something else.  I was afraid that your fear would hold you back from something you love.”

            “I’m tired.”  Haru stands up, and Makoto understands that to mean that Haru’s done talking about this.  Makoto stands up too, wondering if he’s supposed to leave, but Haru just walks away not giving any hint as to whether he’s allowed to follow or not.

            He does.  Haru can always send him away.  But Haru doesn’t.  He seems to notice Makoto following him, and just lets him, not saying anything.  Haru gets into bed, and Makoto hovers a moment before sitting on the ground beside him.

            “Haru,” he says after the silence finally gets to him.  “I know you won’t forgive me any time soon, and you probably won’t ever forget it, but I am sorry.  I should never have done anything with Rin.”

            “Why did you?”  His voice is soft again.

            That…was an excellent question.  One Makoto still didn’t know the answer to.  He thought again, back to the time he and Rin had first gone to lunch and Rin had made him laugh.  How Rin had looked with the moon shining through his hair after he’d convinced Makoto to race him.  How comfortable he’d been spending time with Rin, and how good it felt to kiss him.  “I don’t know.”

            “You’re not selfish for no reason.”  Because that’s what he has been.  Selfish.  This whole thing was selfish.  He can’t even deny it.

            “Yeah.”

            “Rin isn’t selfless for no reason.”

            That one doesn’t make as much sense.  “What?  I don’t…”  _Rin told me I should choose you._   “He…shouldn’t have told you that.  Besides I don’t think he feels that way anymore.”

            “He told me that at the festival.”

            “What?”  Makoto kneels, turning towards Haru in the bed, but all that’s visible is a bulge of blanket that shifts as if it can feel Makoto’s eyes on it.

            “I’m tired,” Haru repeats, and Makoto knows he has to leave.  He has so many more questions.  _Are we friends again?  Why would Rin tell you that after I hit him?  What about Nationals?_   But he doesn’t ask any of those.

            “Sleep well, Haru.”  He makes sure to close Haru’s door behind him, and he cleans up the broken glass and sake off the floor before he leaves.  Haru likes to cook in his bare feet, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, just in case this wasn't clear: Haru is NOT drunk. So don't yell at me for that.


	21. Make It There

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Good advice and too little too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I'm horrible. I had a good reason for not updating last week (RinHaru week + family time for Thanksgiving holiday = no time for update. I still need to finish my last 2 RinHaru chapters.) This week though, I had no real good excuse. Except I was injured. Still am actually. Put me in a shitty mood. Here's the chapter though, more at the end.

            Haru falls asleep almost immediately after Makoto leaves.  He doesn’t bother to get up and clean the glass off the floor or anything.  He just passes out curled up in his bed without moving.  If he could have his way, he’d sleep in forever.  Or at least until he stopped feeling so lost and heartbroken and vulnerable.

            He doesn’t get his wish, though.  Instead, he gets woken up sometime around nine in the morning by the doorbell ringing.  He figures it’s probably Makoto and decides to ignore it, but a few minutes later it rings again.  Then a third time.

            He pulls his blanket over himself and goes to answer the door, fully expecting to see Makoto on the other side.  But he’s not.  It’s not anyone he would’ve expected.

            “Nanase-kun.”

            “Amakata-sensei.”

            To say he’s surprised to see his homeroom teacher standing on his front porch is an understatement.  He hadn’t even been sure she knew where he lived.  He shouldn’t be too surprised, though.  The school has all his information after all.

            “May I come in?”  He steps aside to motion her in.  She takes off her shoes, slipping on the guest slippers Makoto usually used.  “This is a nice house.”

            “Would you like something to drink?”

            “Tea would be lovely, thank you.”

            He wonders, as he wanders into the kitchen, tossing off his blanket, if she asked him to get her a drink that would take longer so he could collect himself.  It’s as he’s waiting for the tea to finish that he sees the clean floor.  There’s no glass left.  Makoto must’ve cleaned it for him.

            Haru wonders if he was too harsh.  But Makoto _knew_ how he felt.  He’s not going to forgive Makoto, and he’s not going to forget either.  But he might be able to move on in time.

            The tea finishes brewing, and he pours it in the cups, taking it out to the living room.  Amakata-sensei is standing at the door to the back, admiring their porch when he gets there.  He sets her cup on the table and sits down.  The sound seems to alert her.

            She sits across from him with a smile.  “Thank you.”  They’re the only words spoken for a bit until she breaks the silence again.  “I guess you’re wondering why I’m here.”  He doesn’t respond to that.  “Well, you know what they say: ‘those who are first to speak, speak loudest’.”  She says it like she’s teaching him a lesson he should remember, but like most of her quotes it’s either partly or entirely incorrect.  Haru’s too tired to figure out what it means though, so he just takes a sip of his tea and waits to hear what she has to say.

            “I was there at Regionals, and I’ve seen the way you’ve acted since, and it concerns me.  It’s concerning your friends too.  I talked with Tachibana-kun, and he doesn’t know what’s going on with you.  I’m not sure I do either, but I want you to hear what I have to say anyway.  When I was younger, I didn’t know what I wanted to do outside of school either.  All my friends had plans for colleges or trade schools or whatever else they wanted to do, but I was still stuck in the moment.  I didn’t want high school to end and have to figure out my life, so I kept pushing the decision further and further away, thinking things would sort themselves out, but then graduation rolled around and I still didn’t know.”

            She pauses, as if waiting for Haru to ask what she did.  But even though this sounds similar to his own situation, he’s not one to ask.  She’s going to tell him.  Otherwise she never would’ve started the story.

            “I ended up going into modeling because I was young enough and attractive enough for it.  I didn’t know it would put me in swim suit magazines.”  Her voice grows suddenly stern.  “I’m telling you this because I suspect Hazuki-kun or Matsuoka-chan have already figure it out and told you, not so you can spread it around.”  Her voice returns to normal.  “Anyway, that career almost ruined all other prospects for me, and I was lucky to be able to find this teaching job.  What I should’ve done is pursue something I was somewhat interested in, because then I would’ve been able to live where I wanted, instead of having to come all the way to Tottori to find a job that would accept me.”  She lets out a nervous laugh.  “Not that Iwatobi is a bad place to live, but it’s far away from all my friends and family.”

            He still doesn’t say anything to that.  He knows what she’s trying to say, and he doesn’t have an answer for her.

            “Nanase-kun, I know that our situations are different, but what I’m telling you isn’t.  You should have a plan B, a fallback plan.  Something you don’t think you’re interested in pursuing, but something you can do until you figure out what it is you want to do.  For you, I thought your plan A was…”  She pauses but not like she’s expecting an answer this time.  “Anyway, I think your plan B should be your art.  You’re a talented artist, and there are some good art schools that would be happy to have you.”

            Now he does have to speak, because the advice might be better than anything he got from Makoto or Rin, but it’s still too little, too late.  “The applications for most schools were due a month ago.”

            “Yes, they were!”  She exclaims it happily, like she didn’t expect him to know that.  “But I submitted some of your work to a variety of different schools, and I’ve just received acceptance letters from some of them.”  _That_ does surprise Haru, and he sets his tea down as she pulls out some letters from her purse and slides them over to him.  They’re already opened.  As if sensing his internal question, she speaks again.  “I had to open them to make sure I was delivering good news to you.  There’s one in particular,” she reaches over, pointing one letter out and scooting it closer to Haru, “that’s right next to the university Tachibana-kun has been considering.”  He’s more surprised to hear that Makoto has been talking to her, but he doesn’t say anything.

            And after the whole Rin situation, he really shouldn’t be shocked to find out Makoto’s been keeping secrets from him.

            He’s not sure if he’s supposed to thank her or yell at her, but Amakata-sensei drains the last of her tea and sets it on the table and stands up before he can decide.  “You don’t have to decide now, but you should think about it.  Responses are due in the next month.  All the details are in the letters.”

            She walks towards the door and he follows her, trying to maintain at least a few manners.  He doesn’t say anything when she puts on her shoes or even when she opens the door and puts on her sunglasses.  But she turns to him to say one last goodbye.  “Nanase-kun, I know whatever you’re going through is something more complicated than I can understand without knowing you better, but if you ever need to talk to someone, I’m always there.”

            He nods in thanks and closes the door behind her when she leaves, walking back to the living room.  The letters are still sitting on the table next to his still steaming tea.  He sits down and stares at them for a few moments before pulling the first towards him.  It can’t hurt to look.

* * *

 

            With their mother away on business for the holiday, Gou and Rin have the house to themselves.  Rin feels absently bad for Gou about this; ever since leaving Haru’s the night before he’s been in a shit mood.  She suggests going to the beach, visiting the shrine after the festival ended, and getting lunch at his favorite barbeque, and he shoots her down every time.  Poorly.

            He can see the disheartened expression with each one, and eventually she stops trying.  What a horrible big brother he is.  He can’t even tell her what’s wrong.  Well, that’s not true.  He could tell her what’s wrong.  He just doesn’t want to.

            It’s not because he thinks she’d be against him being gay.  On the contrary, he has a feeling she’d be over the moon about it.  It’s more that he doesn’t want her to know just how badly he fucked up.  Who convinces the sweetest, most innocent guy they know to start a friends-with-benefits relationship when they know he’s in love with someone else?  It’s his own fault his heart is broken.

            He’s not even mad at Makoto.  Why should he be?  Makoto had been honest with him from the beginning.  Their first kiss ended with him confessing he was in love with Haru.  If that wasn’t honest enough, then Rin doesn’t know what is.  That small pebble of hope had stuck with him though, somewhere deep in his subconscious.  The hope made of _he kissed me so he must have some feelings for me_.  But that hope is smashed.  Turned to dust by the events from the day before.

            So Rin locks himself in his room and tells himself that when he comes out he’ll be mature and responsible and congratulate Makoto on finally getting Haru.  He will.  But right now he can’t.  He can’t even think about it without his chest hurting.  Fuck.  How does everyone else do it?  He wants to ask Sousuke, but he can’t do that either.

            He’d punch a wall if he weren’t concerned about ruining his season with a broken hand.

            Rin’s so busy feeling like complete shit for every personal decision he’s made in the past month that he doesn’t even notice when the sun starts to set.  “Onii-chan!”  The call comes from downstairs but grows louder as Gou makes her way up to his room, knocking on the door.  “Onii-chan, dinner is almost ready.  And get dressed, we have a guest coming!”

            He has two guesses who the guest is, and he doesn’t like either option.  But it’s his baby sister asking for him to do something, so Rin gets up and pulls on some clothes, making sure he doesn’t look homeless, and wanders downstairs where it’s evident dinner is _not_ ready, and they don’t have a guest sitting there either.  “I thought you said someone was coming over.”

            “He texted me, saying he’s on his way!”  She yells from the kitchen.  Rin isn’t sure what she’s cooking, but he is fairly certain he should’ve been the one to do it.  Gou’s never been much of a cook, never having the need to learn.

            As if on cue, the doorbell rings.  “Can you get that?”  She yells again, as if he weren’t already on his way.

            He opens the door, bracing himself, but then: “Rin-san, hello.”

            “Rei?”

            The boy in question adjusts his glasses and gazes up at him.  “May I come in?”

            Rin steps to the side.  “Yeah, sure.”  Rei walks in, taking off his shoes carefully and replacing them with the extra guest slippers Gou must’ve left out for him.  He wants to ask why Rei was invited to dinner tonight, but thinks better of it.  He’ll find out eventually, he’s sure.

            “Hey Rei!”  Gou calls from the kitchen.  “Dinner is almost ready.  Make yourself at home.”

            “Thank you, Gou-san.”  Rei nods politely even though she can’t see him.  Rin decides to show him into the house.

            It’s awkward until dinner.  He and Rei have a friendship, but they haven’t talked in a few months, and Rei’s always been awkward to begin with.  So it’s a relief when Gou finally calls them in for dinner.

            “Food looks great, Gou,” Rin tells her as he sits at the table.  Rei agrees as he joins as well.  The food may look good, but its taste is mediocre at best.  It’s clear she tried to sneak in some extra protein powder to the curry she had made.  The two of them muscle their way through it, and Gou looks so excited that Rin makes the mistake of telling her he loves it.  Somehow, he manages to finish a whole plate by the time dinner’s done.  Rei was only able to eat three quarters of his.

            Rin suspicions that there’s more to this visit reappear when Gou offers to clean the dishes by herself and Rei asks if he wants to go for a walk the moment she disappears back into the kitchen.  He doesn’t decline the invitation though.  He is curious after all.

            The moon is out when they step outside, but it’s still pleasantly warm.  Rin takes off down the path he used to run as a kid, and Rei soon catches up.  The younger is the first to speak.  “I wanted to talk with you, Rin-san.  That’s why I asked Gou-san if I could join you two for dinner.”

            “I haven’t told anyone about you and Nagisa.”

            He can practically feel the embarrassment rolling off the other swimmer.  “Ah, no it’s not about that.  Though we do appreciate the sentiment.  Nagisa-kun wouldn’t care either way, but I believe that with society the way it is, it would be best for us to keep our relationship out of sight for now.”

            “It’s alright.  I don’t judge.”  He certainly isn’t in any position to anyway.

            “I know.  And again, I thank you for that.  But that’s not what I’m here about.  I want to talk with you about Makoto-senpai.”

            That takes Rin for a bit of a loop.  He stops short.  Rei takes a few more steps before he realizes Rin is no longer with him and turns back.  “What about Makoto?”  He had been certain no one knew.  Well no one but Sousuke and Haru.  How did Rei find out?

            That question is answered moments later by Rei’s next words.  “Nagisa-kun and I were walking on the beach when we saw you and Makoto-senpai…behind the rock.”

            “Oh god, you saw us?”

            The embarrassment appears again as Rei turns a light red visible even in the moonlight.  “We didn’t see anything specifically.  We only saw you two walking on the beach before you disappeared behind the rock together.  I had also made note of Makoto-senpai’s improved attitude at the time and was able to put two and two together.  Nagisa-kun was as perceptive as well.”

            “Look, Rei.  Things between Makoto and I are…complicated.”

            Rei nods.  “Yes, I gathered.  At first I thought the two of you were in a similar relationship as Nagisa-kun and I are, but it became clear after some time that yours was more of a…lustful nature.”

            Rin snorts.  “Yeah, you could call it that.”

            “Rin-san, I know I’m not your closest friend or acquaintance, but even I was able to see how happy you made Makoto-senpai and how happy he made you.  I noticed that he doesn’t seem as happy as he was when we saw the two of you on the beach.  I am not certain as to what transpired between the two of you, but Rin-san, if you have feelings for Makoto-senpai then you should tell him about them.  Expressing your feelings is important in a relationship.  Nagisa-kun and I wouldn’t be together today without it.”

            “Rei,” Rin’s eyes widened in disbelief.  The other butterflier was so pure, it was heart-warming.  But there was just one problem.  “That’s really sweet of you to say, but…you’re a little too late.  You see, I already told Makoto how I feel, and he…doesn’t feel the same.”  It’s still painful.

            “Oh, Rin-san.  I’m so sorry…”

            “Don’t,” he says immediately.  It was a bit harsher than it should’ve been though, so he softens his tone.  “Don’t apologize.  It’s not your fault.  You mean well, and I’m really glad things worked out for you and Nagisa, but we can’t all have what you have.  Sometimes things just don’t work out.”

            “The world isn’t fair,” Rin agrees as if reciting a quote.  “Are you alright, Rin-san?”

            He looks away.  He thought he was, but now he’s not so sure.  “I’m going to head back.  Are you coming or heading home?”

            “I am planning to meet up with Nagisa-kun after our walk has concluded.  Can you send my regards to Gou-san?”

            “Yeah, of course.  See ya later, then.”

            “Goodnight, Rin-san.”

            Rei turns and walks away into the night with a wave, leaving Rin to walk home alone, not sure if he feels better or worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stuff you don't care about:  
> 1\. MakoRin week is coming up! Unlike RinHaru week, I started early. Also unlike RinHaru week I am planning to do a bunch of one-shots instead of a continuous plot. This means some of your requests from the random hat promts will be filled. yay!  
> 2\. The pirate AU is the current leader by a landslide in the future works survey AU, and the prologue will be posted on day 6 of MakoRin week. So that's something to look forward to.  
> 3\. This will be finished before new years if it kills me. Preferably before Christmas. The sequel is still on and will most likely be started after SouRin week ends.  
> 4\. I will also finish the short 4-5 chapter horror fic before I start the sequel.  
> Whew I think that's it. Hopefully see you Monday. If not, it's because I'm finishing RinHaru week before MakoRin week starts.


	22. The Longest Road

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto's guardian angel appears, and Nationals begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry. Due to circumstances that I don't really want to get into, I wasn't able to post this chapter as soon as I'd hoped. I was planning to finish the story before the New Year, but it looks like it'll be done just after that. My writing kind of ground to a halt for a while (I stopped mid-MakoRin week).
> 
> On the bright side, there will likely be only 1-2 more chapters! It honestly depends how the words flow for the next one. It could be short enough for one chapter, but most likely it will be drawn out into 2.
> 
> Sorry this took so long to write! I hope you like it anyway. :)

            Makoto’s cornered by Nagisa with only two days left before Nationals.  They need to get some swimming in, so he goes to the old Iwatobi Swim Club during the off hours, and the blond arrives just as he’s finishing.  Or at least, he’s sitting on the block as Makoto climbs out of the pool.

            “Looking good, Mako-chan!”  He exclaims happily.  Makoto, still not feeling much better despite the workout, just gives Nagisa a fake smile and nods.  He has a good fake smile.  Almost indistinguishable from his real one.  “I think we have a shot at Nationals, don’t you?”

            He’s just making small talk, Makoto knows.  After seeing the competition at Regionals, it had become abundantly clear that, even with Haru on their side, they don’t have a chance in hell at winning Nationals.  And he’s not one to cuss lightly or ever.  Even in his head.  Rin must’ve stolen that filter from him too.

            But even though Nagisa’s his friend and just wants to make small talk, Makoto finds he doesn’t have the patience for it.  He starts to walk away, completely surprised when he’s stopped with a hand on his wrist.  He turns towards it automatically.  Nagisa has stood up from the block and is looking at him with unrestrained worry.  “Mako-chan, I need to talk to you.”

            Irrationally, Makoto doesn’t want to hear it.  He doesn’t have any reason to think Nagisa would know about his most recent mistake, but for some reason that’s what he thinks this is about.  “Nagisa, I’m tired.”  He’s impressed with how calm his voice sounds.  It doesn’t differ in his ears from what it sounds like at any other time.  “Can we talk later?”

            “It’s important.  You don’t have to say much, just hear me out.”  He can’t think of a good enough reason not to, so he just nods to Nagisa to continue.  “Mako-chan…”  Nagisa sounds unsure of himself, and that irrational fear engulfs Makoto again.  “I know you don’t want to hear this…ok I don’t know, but I’m pretty sure…but…you need to get over Haru-chan.”

            Makoto’s head snaps up, his eyes locking on Nagisas.  He doesn’t think his expression changed, but it must’ve because Nagisa’s hand tightens around his wrist.  “How…?”

            “I know you might not believe it, but I’ve been the victim of unrequited love before.”  He has a half joking lilt to his voice, but Makoto can see how serious he is.  “And to be honest, you’re pretty obvious.  Even Rei-chan noticed, and he’s completely oblivious to human emotions, no matter what he thinks…”

            “Nagisa, I…”  He trails off.  They’ve both been doing that a lot in this conversation so far.  It’s made it more awkward, for him at least.  He’s not even sure what he was going to say, or why he even bothered to open his mouth in the first place.

            The look on Nagisa’s face is apologetic, pitying even.  “I would like you and Haru-chan together.  I think you two would be cute and that you would make each other really happy.  But the thing is, Mako-chan…that even if I think that and Rei thinks that and you think that…Haru-chan doesn’t think that.  And frankly, his opinion is the only one that matters.  Other than yours of course.”

            It’s a kick in the side.  Nagisa’s words are meant to let him down easy, he knows that, but given the timing they don’t quite do the trick.  The blond opens his mouth to continue, but Makoto can’t take much more of this.  “Nagisa, thanks.  But I already know.  I’ve already talked to…Haru,” his voice breaks at the name, “about it.  I won’t let this affect our relay.”

            Nagisa sighs and looks up at Makoto like the next words are going to be more painful.  Given their conversation so far, he has no doubt about it.  “Mako-chan, Rei-chan and I saw you with Rin-chan at the beach.”  There were so many times, but Makoto doesn’t really need a clarification.  They’re all pretty damning.  “You went behind the rocks that we sometimes use to make-out and…stuff, and you can’t deny that you’ve been with Rin-chan for at least the past month.”

            “We’re not dating.”  The denial slips from his lips automatically, and Makoto is surprised by the bad taste it leaves in his mouth.

            “But you like him.”

            “I’m in love with Haru.”  He’s so used to stating that to Rin, he can’t help these words from slipping from his mouth either.

            “Your love for Haru isn’t healthy.”  Nagisa’s face hardens, and Makoto knows he’s serious based on how he didn’t even bother to use the chan.  Nagisa _never_ drops the chan.  “But you’ve been happy, Mako-chan.  So has Rin-chan.  And you can’t deny that.”

            He can’t.  But it’s too late.  He ruined any chances he had with Rin, and it doesn’t matter because he’s in love with Haru still (yes he is, he argues to himself) and Rin doesn’t deserve to be someone’s second choice.  And no matter what Rin said to him before, Makoto’s finally come to terms that he’s the one who treated Rin poorly.

            Nagisa clearly sees something foreboding in his expression, because his next reaction is to wave his hands in front of his face defensively.  “Not that you have to be with anyone.  I mean, I have enough sisters to know that thinking you need someone just causes more problems.  But if you’re with someone who makes you happy then why end that?”

            “Because you both have to make each other happy for it to make sense.”

            The admission is all it takes to quiet Nagisa.  They both stand there silently, and Makoto once again appreciates the awkwardness of the situation.  Here they are, the two happy-go-lucky swimmers of the Iwatobi team, or so Gou says, and neither of them can think of anything to say.  People are always saying that it’s the quiet ones who have the most to say.  Well the part they always seem to forget is that the loudest are the least sure of what they have to say.  Makoto isn’t the loudest, but he is the captain, the leader, the almost mother-hen figure.  So why is he standing here, finding himself unsure of his actions for the hundredth time in the past few days?

            “Nagisa,” Makoto says gently, looking anywhere but the other’s face.  “Thank you.  But I need to go.”

            The younger swimmer doesn’t try to stop him, and Makoto convinces himself that he doesn’t flee from the situation.

\---

            Nationals comes faster than expected.  Suddenly it’s there, and Makoto hasn’t had any time to sort through his feelings or come to terms with anything other than the already expected, inevitable knowledge that he is never getting with Haru.  Somehow, accepting that comes a lot easier than anything else.  It’s probably because, well, it was inevitable.

            To Makoto’s pleasant surprise, Haru seems content to pretend nothing happened between them.  He’s not naïve enough to think Haru’s forgiven him, but he does seem to have let it go for the sake of Nationals at least.  Things are more awkward between Nagisa and Rei, who seem to be avoiding making eye contact with him and Haru.  Makoto smiles encouragingly, finding that it comes easier when Haru isn’t giving him the cold shoulder.  “Ready to win Nationals?”

            That does the trick.  Nagisa bursts into a wide grin, and the tension disappears from Rei’s shoulders.  Gou bounds over before anything else can be said, insisting that they get in their designated lane for warm up _right now_ and get ready to race.  Nagisa practically sprints to the lane in question, dragging a protesting Rei behind him as Gou yells after them to stop running.  He meets Haru’s eyes and for a minute, even he believes that nothing’s happened.  But then Haru’s eyes focus somewhere over Makoto’s shoulder, and Makoto turns to see the Samezuka team walk in.

            Rin hasn’t noticed them yet, seemingly in deep conversation with Yamazaki, so Makoto turns back to Haru who can’t quite hide the pain from his face.  “Come on, Haru,” Makoto says as he walks past.  “Let’s warm up.”

* * *

 

            Rin has a tendency to wallow, especially if given enough time to do so.  In the days between getting ‘dumped’ by Makoto and finding out he was a bigger part in the stupidest love triangle (quadrangle, actually) than he thought, Rin had plenty of time to wallow.  He did plenty of that up until Rei came to talk to him.  The other butterflier may not have said anything to cheer him up, but for some reason the visit knocked the wallowing out of him.

            Rin made it to the Sano Swim Club pool a few times, making sure to take it easy and not break his taper.  He even went to the beach with Gou and helped her make dinner one night too.  She was so ecstatic to have her brother back, he almost felt bad when Nationals came around and he had to go back to being the opposing team captain who rarely got to see her anymore.

            The whole team had decided to come to Nationals, regardless of how few are actually competing.  It’s a show of unity and team spirit, and Rin actually feels bad for Momo and Ai not being able to swim the relay in the meet (Ai didn’t end up qualifying for anything).  He feels more for Sousuke than either of the two of them, but the feeling’s not the same.  It’s somewhere between guilt and anger and sadness, and Rin doesn’t know which emotions are for him and which extend to Sousuke.  It doesn’t matter anyway, he’s the one who broke the other’s heart.  He doesn’t have a right to be mad.

            Sousuke isn’t even there when he arrives.  He gets his report from Ai with frequent interruptions from Momo, and then sends the team into the locker room to get ready to warm up.  He’s about to walk in when a hand on his shoulder stops him.  He turns around and feels a twinge of guilt in his heart when he makes eye contact with his (ex?) best friend.  “Sousuke.”

            “You didn’t ruin your taper, did you?”  The question’s so familiar, and Sousuke isn’t looking at him in a different way than he normally would.

            Rin relaxes, shooting Sousuke his typical exasperated response.  “No, _mom_ , I didn’t.”  He smiles though and holds out his fist to Sousuke, his voice softening.  “You worry too much.”

            To his relief, Sousuke meets his fist with his own.  “You have a tendency to overwork yourself when you’re stressed.”

            “I didn’t.  I promise.”

            Their hands drop and they turn and follow the team in.  Rin heads straight to the pool, already having changed at home.  “Sousuke,” he starts, licking his lips nervously.  “I’m really sorry about –“

            “It’s nothing, Rin.  I’m sorry too.”

            “Friends?”

            A small smile finally graces the other’s lips as he nods.  It’s the first Rin’s seen on him since the whole incident.  He smiles back for the moment before Momo shouts and vaults himself into the pool to warm up.  Sousuke puts his hand on Rin’s shoulder before he can go lecture Momo.  “Go stretch and warm up.  I’ll take care of him.”

            Rin does just that, happy with the fact that he and Sousuke are friends again.  It almost makes it better.  Almost.  Rin isn’t blind to the other side of the pool where his sister is intently observing Iwatobi’s warm up.  Their team isn’t even competing in the first day of the meet, but he knows they’re getting used to the pool and staying loose.  It’s smart.  He would’ve done the same thing.  Hell, all the guys on the team who are just in the relays are all doing the same thing.

            The swimming distracts him from his focus on Iwatobi as he warms up.  He has prelims for the 100 free and 100 fly to worry about.  He’s already guaranteed a spot on almost any team in Japan, but that doesn’t mean he can just let the meet go to waste.  The school year might not be over but this is the last high school swim meet he’ll ever compete in.  It’s a strange feeling, especially since he knows his swimming career isn’t over completely.

            He’ll tell Sousuke that he’s planning to go to the same university as him later, Rin decides as he climbs out of the pool.  They’re friends again so he’s not worried about rejection like before, but he needs to concentrate on what’s right in front of him.  Besides, Sousuke seems to have his hands full with the way Momo’s taken to orbiting him instead of Rin for once.

            Rin spares one last glance to where Iwatobi was warming up.  His sister’s standing by the side of the pool, talking to Makoto about something, but the rest are nowhere to be seen.  His heart clenches at the sight of the brunet, and Rin turns away.  That’s another thing that’s gonna have to wait till after his races.


	23. Approaching Farewell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nationals part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I think we've established that I suck at predicting chapter count. Rememer back in chapter 11 when I thought there would only be 5 more? Ah...good times.
> 
> Anyway, this is a somewhat boring (though necessary) chapter which ends on a cliffhanger because it was getting too long. It's really only boring because my guess is you guys want Rin and Makoto to interact, and they don't. Sorry. Nationals is about swimming after all. They'll interact in the next chapter for sure. Assuming I can actually learn to predict how long chapters will be, the actual story will end with 24 chapters. (There might be a 25th though, so I haven't updated the final chapter count.)
> 
> On a related note, here is how I chose to breakdown Nationals:  
> 2 Day swim meet. Day 1: Morning - individual prelims; shorter distances, Afternoon/Evening - individual prelims; longer distances. Day 2: Morning - relay prelims, Afternoon/Evening - finals for all races
> 
> Hope you enjoy~

            Iwatobi stays at the meet just long enough for Makoto to see Rin take first in his heats in both the 100 fly and 100 free, securing his spot in finals for the events.  They leave almost immediately after to check into their hotel, having stayed under the guise of checking out possible competition for the relay tomorrow.  Everyone knows it’s because Gou wanted to see her brother race.  If they’re honest, it’s really because everyone wanted to see Rin’s race.  Even Amakata-sensei appears to have an interest in the redhead.

            They check into their hotel and then head out.  Amakata-sensei takes them to dinner, announcing that they can have whatever they want; her treat.  Nagisa, predictably, tries to take advantage of it, listing off every expensive item on the menu until Amakata-sensei finally puts her foot down.  Haru spends most of that time hunting down mackerel on the menu.  The familiarity of that makes Makoto smile, especially when Rei leans in to help him search.

            His attention is drawn to Gou and Amakata-sensei’s lowered voices for some reason.  He can’t figure out why until he starts to listen to what they’re saying.  “…is going to confess to Sera-senpai at school.  She says she’s in love with him, but I think it’s just a crush.”

            “Is it so wrong to confess when you have a crush?”  Amakata-sensei responds to Gou’s worried face.  Makoto busies himself looking at his menu so it’s not obvious that he’s eavesdropping.  “Very rarely do relationships start with two people already in love.  I’m sure Hanamura will be just fine.”

            “Sensei?  What do you mean by that?”

            “Well if people waited until they were already in love to start dating, then a lot less people would be in relationships.  From what I’ve learned you really need three things to start a relationship: attraction, liking each other, and a mutual curiosity to see where it’ll lead.”

            Gou’s response is cut off by a tugging on his sleeve.  He looks over to see Rei pointing at a dish.  There’s mackerel in it, but also lobster – an item Amakata-sensei had already banned.  “Haruka-senpai wants this.  Do you think we can convince her to let us try it?”  He asks in a whispered voice.

            “Only if we can convince Nagisa to take off half the items he already suggested,” Makoto whispers back conspiratorially.  It’s only then that he remembers the two are dating.  But they also aren’t sitting by each other.  He wonders if they had a fight, but then he sees the look on Rei’s face as he scolds Nagisa for asking unreasonable things and it’s clear they’re not.  They don’t always have to be near each other, he reminds himself.  It’s not like he and Rin are –

            He stops that thought before it forms.  He and Rin aren’t dating.  They were never dating.

            Dinner goes smoothly from there.  Rei talks Nagisa out of ordering a ton of things so they can get the mackerel for Haru, and the hushed conversation between Gou and Amakata-sensei ends.  They part from the girls and wander down to the waterside after dinner.  Nagisa suggested it, and Makoto agrees that a walk would be good.  As usual, he and Haru hang back and let the other two lead.  Haru made it clear that he would swim tomorrow for the team regardless of his feelings towards Makoto, but there’s an awkwardness still in the air between them.

            Nagisa runs to the edge of the path, looking at the lights shining in the city across from them.  “The ocean is glowing!”  He exclaims as the others follow.

            “It is,” Makoto agrees.  “It’s totally different than the ocean in Iwatobi.”

            They stand there silently for a few moments, leaning against the railing to look at the water.  To his surprise, Haru’s the one who breaks the silence.  “It’s finally happening tomorrow…”  He sounds as calm as always, and Makoto remembers the past few weeks of Haru struggling with his swimming.  He didn’t seem as out of sync today when he swam in warm-up.  Makoto’s no expert on Haru’s form, though he’d like to be, so he can’t always tell _what_ the issue is; just that there is one.  But earlier, Haru looked almost back to normal.  He was moving through the water smoother than he had since Regionals, but not as smooth as he used to.  He resembled Rin more this way than before, and Makoto’s not sure if that’s a bad thing.

            “Yeah…”  He agrees finally.  “If you think back to when we first started our swim club, it’s pretty amazing we got this far.  We couldn’t even use our pool in the beginning.”  He means it more as a compliment to their abilities than anything, but soon Nagisa and Rei and even Haru use that moment to reminisce.  The longer they talk, the harder it is for Makoto to hold his smiling mask.  Their memories are great, but they’re just that: memories.  And after tomorrow, for better or for worse, they won’t have any more.

            Makoto and Haru are the only two who keep it together in the end.  Nagisa and Rei start crying about how they’re going to miss them, which Makoto thinks is a little ironic since they’re dating each other and have at least another year together.  And it’s not like Makoto’s not going to visit on his breaks.  He can’t speak for Haru; he doesn’t even know what Haru’s planning to do.  Another reminder that something is off between them.

            When the crying finally stops, they make their way back to the hotel.  Nagisa and Rei wave goodbye to them, walking to their own room, and Makoto is reminded that he’s rooming with Haru.  It’s gonna be awkward, and he knows it.  He turns to the other once they’re in the room, wanting to dispel some of the tension between them, but Haru’s already claiming his bed and getting ready for his evening bath.

            “Har–“  He’s cut off when the other disappears into the bathroom and closes the door.  So he’s still getting some form of the silent treatment.  And here, Makoto thought they were past this.

            “Makoto?”  He turns and sees Haru poking his head out of the bathroom.  He can hear the water running in the background.  “I left Saba-chan in my bag.  Can you bring it in here?”

            He smiles and goes over to the bag, grabbing the toy in question.  “Yeah, here.”

            “Thanks.”  The door closes and Makoto thinks maybe it isn’t such a silent treatment after all.

\---

            It’s surreal, being at Nationals and actually getting ready to compete.  The pool hasn’t changed since yesterday, but there’s something different about going just to warm up and going to race.  Makoto spots Samezuka getting ready to warm up again; Rin’s stretching as he talks to Yamazaki, his stance casual.  They look so natural together.  Makoto wonders if Yamazaki would’ve had a chance if he hadn’t gotten in the way.

            “Makoto.”  Haru’s poking at his side, drawing his attention.  “Warm up.”  He doesn’t say anything about Rin, which is probably for the best given the state of things between them.  Makoto spares one more glance at the redhead before jumping in the pool and warming up.

            They’re ordered to bundle up and stay warm by Gou, which they do in fear of the look in her eyes.  Makoto wants to find Rin and talk to him before the race, but Amakata-sensei ushers them to the bleachers to conserve their energy before he has the chance.  The medley relay is the second to last of the relays in the prelims this morning, and the waiting is just making them more antsy.  Rei looks like he swallowed a frog, he’s so green, and Nagisa can’t or won’t shut up.  Haru doesn’t appear any different than usual on the outside, but he’s finally reopened himself up for Makoto to read, and he can tell Haru’s nervous, which just makes Makoto more anxious.

            Finally they go for their second warm up before their race; a shorter one to spin out their muscles and get them ready for the upcoming relay.  There’s a bowl of molten lava in the pit of Makoto’s stomach, and though the act of doing something was better than sitting and waiting, it didn’t make that feeling go away.

            Time seems to be moving simultaneously faster and slower than normal, and before Makoto realizes it, they’re lining up for their race.  Gou had sat them down at breakfast and showed them all the qualified teams’ best times, and it wasn’t a given that they’d make finals.  They’d have to beat their current time by a little over a second to have a shot, and that was only assuming everyone else stayed the same.  That thought haunts Makoto as they walk to the block, and he finds himself stressing over his start.

            “Relax.”  He almost jumps at the hand on his shoulder, but when he looks around it’s just Haru.  “Whatever happens.”  Haru’s never been the best as comforting people (he never tries, actually) but that small vote of confidence is all Makoto needs.

            He smiles and nods to Haru and then Nagisa and Rei.  “We’ve got this.”  Nagisa beams at him, and even Rei cracks a smile, though he still looks like he swallowed a frog.

            The heat ahead of them finishes their race and Makoto steps forward, pulling his goggles over his eyes.  Sometimes he hates being first, but at least it means he’s done sooner.  The whistle blows, and he jumps automatically into the water, grabbing the backstroke bars.

            “Take your mark…”  BEEP!

            It feels just like that first relay with Rin all those years ago, and yet it’s completely different.  Somehow he can feel the other three in the pool with him, which doesn’t make any logical sense since he knows they’re still on the deck.  Makoto hits the turn first in the heat, kicking out as he heads back.  The fight with Haru, the Rin situation, his future, all of it fades somewhere in the water until all that matters is touching the wall.  He sees the flags, counts his strokes, then he’s touching the wall with Nagisa flying over him for the next portion.

            Haru and Rei help him climb out of the pool even though he doesn’t really need it, and he turns to cheer Nagisa on.  The blond had an impressive head start to the competition, but even so he’s pulled further ahead.  They have a real shot at the finals, and Makoto’s throat burns with how loud he’s cheering.

            Nagisa hits the wall, sending Rei off next with a large lead.  The former track star has been training for the past almost 2 years to get to this point, but it’s still less than their competition.  He starts to lose ground, despite Makoto knowing this will be his fastest butterfly split to date.  He hits the far wall ahead of the competition and turns back as Haru steps on the block.  They pause in their cheers for the underwater kickout, and Nagisa takes this opportunity to whisper to him excitedly: “I felt you in the pool, Mako-chan.  It was amazing.”

            He knows exactly what Nagisa means, but he doesn’t say anything, because Rei’s heading back, and the butterflier one lane over is gaining at an almost alarming rate.  They scream for Rei, something that seems to motivate him.  He picks up the pace ever so slightly and hits the wall barely in the lead.

            Haru’s start is flawless as usual, and Makoto almost forgets to breathe when he watches him swim.  Whatever his problem is with the water clearly hasn’t been fully resolved.  His stroke still resembles Rin’s more closely than his own, but Haru is impressive in the water.  Even without his own technique, he pulls away from the team next to them, regaining their lead and then some.  He hits the turn so far ahead of everyone else, that Makoto knows it doesn’t matter if they cheer anymore; they already have this race in the bag.

            They keep cheering anyway, straining their vocal chords along with everyone else in the room, and when Haru hits the wall, the three of them spin in unison to look up at the scoreboard.  They got first in the heat; that was a given, but their time is what matters.  It’s a little over two seconds faster than their former best time; a new Iwatobi record.

            There’s still one more heat to go, but as soon as Haru climbs out of the pool, Nagisa pulls them into a group hug anyway.  None of them can keep from smiling.  It almost doesn’t matter what happens in this next heat; they’ve probably already made finals. 

            Makoto breaks the hug first, pushing them back so they’re out of the way of the last heat, which they watch just to be sure.  Nagisa pulls them into another group hug at the end when it’s confirmed.  There’s a whole other round of prelim relays and a break for lunch before finals this evening, so they make their way to the locker room to wash off.  They pass by the Samezuka team headed out for the 400 free relay, sending reality crashing back on Makoto.  He has to find Rin.  He still doesn’t know what he’s planning to say, but he has to find him.

            He lets himself get herded into the shower along with the other three and rinses off.  Despite the urgency which had hit him moments ago, Makoto isn’t too keen to find Rin.  He means to apologize and maybe even ask for a second chance.  But somehow he doesn’t think the conversation will go well.

            He doesn’t have long to wait, though, because as they’re drying off, the group of Samezuka swimmers from before comes back in followed by both Yamazaki and Rin.  It’s now or never.

            “Mako-chan!  We’re gonna ask Gou-chan and Ama-chan-sensei to grab lunch for us.  Come on!”  Makoto turns to see Nagisa standing by the door, bag in hand.  Rei and Haru are nowhere in sight; presumably they’d already gone out.

            He smiles at the blond, throwing his towel over his shoulders.  “I’ll meet you out there in a bit, ok?  I need to…”  He trails off, but Nagisa seems to understand.  He shoots Makoto a smile.

            “Don’t take too long, Mako-chan.”  His tone is light, but Makoto can see the seriousness in the other’s eyes.

            “I won’t,” he promises.  Makoto waits for Nagisa to leave the locker room before turning toward the showers where he can hear the Samezuka swimmers talking.  He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, steeling himself for what’s to come. 

            Courage gathered, he opens them only to see Yamazaki leaning against the lockers a few feet away.  He’s staring at Makoto, giving off vibes clearly meant to intimidate.  Makoto steps forward, determined to talk to Rin regardless, but is stopped when Yamazaki steps in front of him, blocking his path.  “You’re not talking to Rin.”


	24. Finale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The long awaited final chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This went through about 3 rounds of edits before hitting you guys, which is why it took so long. Can't say I'm 100% happy with it, but I am happy enough to post and then return and fix it later (alongside a few other edits I need to do). Hope you enjoy, and I cannot wait to read what you think!

            The last thing Rin expects to see when he walks out of the shower ahead of the still chattering relay team is Makoto talking to Sousuke.  He considers going back in the shower and waiting the whole thing out like a coward, but then Makoto spots him.  Sousuke’s head turns, and then the two of them are staring at him; there’s no way Rin can just walk back into the shower like nothing was happening.

            He doesn’t though.  He walks right in between them, unlocking the locker there where his bag is stored.  Sousuke gives him a look of obvious concern, and Rin shakes his head.  He doesn’t need the other to step into this mess he made by himself.  Especially not now that they’d finally patched up their friendship again.

            “Rin, I need to talk to you,” Makoto says it fast, like he knows he has a time limit before Sousuke resumes his intimidation tactics.

            “Yeah, I figured.”  He doesn’t have the emotional patience for beating around the bush.  “Let me dry off and pull on some pants.”

            Makoto doesn’t have a chance to reply because the locker Sousuke has open slams shut.  “I’ll meet you in the team area,” he says in a low voice as he passes by Rin.  Rin dries off and tugs his pants on over his Jammers before throwing his towel over his shoulders.  He grabs his bag and slams the locker behind him too, walking to the door without checking to see if Makoto would follow him.

            Neither of them say anything until they’re in the now-empty hallway connecting the warm-up pool to the competition pool.  Rin stops abruptly and turns to Makoto, who’s staring at the walls instead of looking at him.  That irritates him for some reason.  He drops his bag with a thunk, bringing Makoto’s attention back to him.  “If you’re planning to punch me again, I’m gonna have to ask you to wait.  I still have races to swim and so do you.”  He meant for it to come out threatening, but it sounds more pathetic.

            “Wha–?  No, Rin, I’m not going to hit you…”

            “Then what?  Are you here to gloat or something?  Because I don’t want to hear it.”

            “Gloat?  No, Rin…”

            Rin scowled, crossing his arms.  “I’m not in the mood to play mind games with you, Makoto.  Spit it out.”

            “I want to try again.”

            That threw him off.  “Try what again?”

            “This.”  Makoto gestured vaguely between the two of them.  That set Rin off.  As if he needed to be dumped by his Not-Boyfriend a second time.

            “Look, Makoto, no matter how politely you say it, a dumping is –”

            “That’s not what I mean.”

            “God dammit, Makoto!  Speak your mind then instead of being so fucking vague!”  Rin explodes at him.  The brunet’s jaw just drops, and Rin instantly feels like shit.  This is _not_ how this was supposed to go down.  He wasn’t supposed to yell at Makoto and make him feel bad and–

            “Look, Makoto,” he tries in a calmer voice.  “I’m sorry, it’s just…you don’t know how it feels to lay your soul bare for someone and have them trample over it again and again…and it’s not that I didn’t see it coming, and it’s not really your fault, but it _is_ , and –”

            “Rin,” Makoto interrupts him using his calming Big Brother voice.  He continues before Rin can get mad at him for interrupting in the first place.  “I want to try us again.  I want us to try dating…for real.”

            If it weren’t for the faint blush across Makoto’s cheeks, Rin would’ve thought he was kidding.  But he is blushing, and the longer Rin stares without blinking, the deeper the color gets.  “What?”  He asks, finally finding his voice.

            “I like you.”

            “You’re in love with Haru.”

            Makoto at least has the decency to look ashamed at that.  “I…I don’t know.  I can’t say that I’m not…”

            “I won’t be your second choice.”  He and Haru already compete in swimming; they don’t need a bedroom competition either.  Quite frankly, this is one Rin knows he can’t win, and he doesn’t think he can handle that a second time.  Makoto’s in love with Haru, and Rin’s always just been a consolation prize to him.  There’s no reason the other would want anything more.  Unless he was feeling guilty about stealing Rin’s virginity (which he never got around to doing in the first place).  “Makoto…I think I know where you’re coming from, so let me just say this: I don’t hate you for what we did.  I was equally guilty.  And I don’t hate you for hitting me either.  I said a lot of things I shouldn’t have said, so I more than deserved that.”  He looks away, biting his bottom lip before finishing.  “You don’t have to date me to make anything right.  That’s why we didn’t take each other’s firsts.  So you won’t have any regrets when you do actually…get with who you want.  Please just…drop it.”

            He can feel the tears pricking at the corners of his eyes and has to close his eyes to will them away.  There’s a soft touch on his cheek, and Rin opens his eyes to turn and look at Makoto.  The brunet’s face is closer to his than he remembered it being before, and his eyes are warm and a little sad.  “This isn’t about guilt or making things right, Rin.  I _wanted_ to kiss youthat night.”  Makoto’s rubbing his thumb against Rin’s cheek, and the combination of that with the soft words starts to calm Rin down.

            “Makoto…”  He whispers the name like a prayer, hoping this wasn’t just a dream or a lie or some other escape from reality.  
            “Rin,” Makoto whispers his name, leaning in closer, “I want to kiss you right now.”

            Even if Rin wanted to protest, he couldn’t.  He holds Makoto’s gaze until the moment just before their lips touch when he closes his eyes reflexively.  Makoto’s lips are soft against his own, molding to his just as they had all those other kisses before.  It’s sweet and short and yet lasts what feels like a lifetime.  Finally though, Makoto pulls away and looks around like he just now remembered they’re in a public place.  It takes a heartbeat for Rin to find his voice again.

            “You’re not in love with me.”  This time, it’s Rin’s turn to blurt out his thoughts without a filter.

            Makoto’s smile doesn’t hold a trace of the sadness from earlier when he responds.  “If you had to be in love with someone to start a relationship, then no one would be dating.  You have to be curious and…um…like each other?”  Makoto frowns.  “That doesn’t sound right.”

            “I don’t get what you’re trying to say.”

            “I like you,” Makoto repeats.  “And I want to date you.  We don’t have to be in love to want to date, because not a lot of people are, but they fall in love later.”  Finally it clicks into place for Rin; Makoto might not be in love with him now, but he thinks he could be in the future.  Hope starts to bubble in his chest.

            “You’re serious about dating me?”  He has to check before the happiness gets to be too much and he falls to hard, too fast, too deep.  (It’s too late.)

            “Yes,” the other assures.  “And I don’t have a filter when I’m around you, so you know I’m telling the truth.”

            Rin frowns in confusion.  “What?”

            “Nevermind.  Yes.  I’m serious about dating you.”

            Rin’s whole face breaks into a grin.  Dating Makoto.  It sounds like a dream, and yet here’s a real chance, standing before him.  “If you’re serious and if I’m not a second choice then…yes.  I would like to try dating you for real too.”

            Makoto steps closer, wrapping his arm around Rin’s waist.  “I do like you, Rin.  You make me really happy.”

            “You do too,” Rim mumbles back, his face buried in the crook of Makoto’s neck as he returns the hug.  The sound of the Samezuka relay team emerging from the locker room draws them apart, and they stand there, both blushing furiously as Rin’s teammates approach.  “I should go,” he mutters, rubbing the back of his neck.  “We’ll talk after the meet, ok?”

            “Yeah.  Good luck, Rin.”  Makoto smiles at him again, and it takes all of Rin’s power to tear himself away and go with his teammates to eat and prepare for finals in the afternoon.

\---

            Finals goes great.  The Samezuka freestyle relays both make it to finals and do well, placing fifth and sixth in the two distances.  Rin’s the only Samezuka swimmer to make finals in any individual event, let alone two, and manages to place third in the 100 free and fourth in the 100 fly, shattering both his best times.  He’s on cloud nine from the whole thing, and as he looks up at the crowd after earning his spot on the podium, he can swear he feels Makoto’s smile beaming down on him from the stands.

            The last event of the meet is the medley relay.  The Samezuka team waits around for Rin’s medal ceremony anyway, so he doesn’t have to talk them into staying till the end of the meet.  He can feel Sousuke’s gaze on him as he watches the teams walk out.  He hasn’t told his best friend about patching things up with Makoto yet, but he doesn’t really have to; Sousuke probably already knows.

            His eyes follow Makoto’s back as he leads the team out to the blocks.  They’re nervous; he can tell even from up here.  Haru and Makoto have practice at hiding their nerves, but Nagisa looks like he’s about to explode and Rei’s fidgeting with his goggles in a way he normally doesn’t.  It’s their last race together as a team, and this relay has meant more to them than any of their other races, that much Rin knows.

            Makoto’s clearly concentrating, not looking around or even smiling as he pulls his goggles over his eyes.  It makes Rin smile to watch it; Makoto’s always made him happy.  Ever since they were kids and he’d been trying to get over his fear of the water.  He always worked so hard at swimming, it was impossible for him to not catch Rin’s eye, even with as focused on Rin was on Haru at the time.

            The whistle blows and Makoto jumps in the water, still as concentrated as ever.  When the buzzer goes off, starting the race, Rin is surprised by how many members of his team start shouting for Iwatobi.  It only catches him off guard for an instant, because the next moment later, Rin is yelling along with them.  Makoto – his boyfriend, Rin realizes belatedly – puts them in a good place, but he’s not the strongest backstroker there.  He touches in third to send Nagisa off.  He’s passed by the breaststroker two lanes over at the turn, and then another one right as they reach the final flags, putting Iwatobi in fifth.  They lose the most ground when Rei dives in.  He has a strong butterfly, improved by Rin’s personal coaching, but two years of training isn’t enough to surpass people who have been working since they were eight.  He’s passed by the last three teams, touching just behind the last one to send Haru off.  And Haru…Haru’s amazing, but the podium is already out of their reach.  He manages to catch up and pass two of them at the end, touching two milliseconds behind fifth place.

            Sixth is nothing to sneeze at though, and the Iwatobi team celebrates like they won the entire thing.  They just stand there under the lights, holding each other and smiling, and Rin itches to join them.  He can’t though.  This is their celebration, not his, and they deserve every second of it.

            “Hey,” Sousuke rests his elbow on Rin’s shoulder.  “Wipe your eyes.  The podium ceremony is gonna start soon, and you need to look pretty for the cameras.”

            “Oh shove it,” Rin shrugs Sousuke’s elbow off as his friend chuckles.  He does wipe his eyes though as he walks away.  He hadn’t been crying, not really, but he was getting to that point.  Trust Sousuke to notice something like that.

            He follows the other podium placers as they all file down through the hallway connecting the pools.  Strange to think that a few hours ago this same hallway was empty except for him and Makoto.  The relay teams start to file through, heading back to the stands, and Rin spots the Iwatobi team.  He debates for a second before deciding that he has a few minutes till he’s expected and pushes through stopping in front of them with a grin.

            “Hey.  Nice race.”

            “Rin-chan!”  Nagisa plasters himself to Rin’s front, not at all unexpectedly.  He can see the slightly exasperated look on Rei’s face at the action and peels the blond off him.

            “Sixth place.  Impressive.  Was that a best time?”

            “New school record!”  Nagisa sing songs in reply, having returned to his boyfriend’s side, clinging to his arm instead of Rin.

            He turns to the other butterflier.  “You looked strong.  Keep up your training so I can expect a good rival in college.”

            “Thank you, Rin-san.”  Even though they’d become friends earlier in the year, Rei still refuses to drop the –san.  It’s sort of endearing in a way.

            The speakers echo with the announcer starting the medal ceremony before Rin can reply.  “Rei-chan, we’re gonna miss it!”  Nagisa cries, pulling Rei along after him.  The other butterflier gives Rin an apologetic look as he’s dragged away, to which Rin responds with a smile.

            “I should probably head out there too.  Don’t know how quick they’ll go through the events…”  He tells Haru and Makoto.

            Haru steps up to him, placing his hand on Rin’s shoulder.  “Congratulations, Rin.”  It’s not a big flowery speech, but Haru isn’t known for being a man of many words.  As far as Rin’s concerned, this is almost on par with Haru admitting he wanted to swim with Rin again over a year ago.

            “Thanks, Haru.  You too.”  Haru didn’t look quite his normal self, but he’d swum a lot better than he had at Regionals.  Rin hopes Haru can solve whatever he’s been going through; he misses his rival, and third place was amazing but it would’ve meant a lot more if Haru had been in the lane next to him.

            Haru smiles at him with his eyes, small and brief before he walks away, following the other two and leaving Rin alone with Makoto.  Rin wonders if Haru knows, wonders if Makoto thought to break it to him or if he’s waiting till after Nationals is over.  Rin looks up at the other – his boyfriend, he reminds himself still in shock from the reality of it – and smiles at him.  “Your backstroke is amazing.  You should reconsider swimming in college.  I’m sure your school would be happy to take you.”

            A light pink graces Makoto’s cheeks and he scratches the back of his neck, clearly embarrassed from the praise.  “I’m not the one who got third at Nationals,” he counters.  Rin wants to kiss him again, but there are people around this time, and he really should go out to the ceremony.

            “I’ll call you when I get back to Samezuka,” he says instead of kissing him.  “We’ll go on a real date.”

            Makoto smiles softly at him, making Rin wonder how he was ever able to survive without it.  “I’d like that.”

            The next three winners are announced over the intercom, reminding Rin that he still hasn’t gone out there.  He hesitates.  This is a big deal, but it’s hard to leave Makoto’s side now that they’re together.  “You should go out there, Rin,” Makoto tells him, as if reading his mind.  “I’ll see you soon.”

            He will.  They’ll see each other soon and often, and it’ll be real this time.  Rin steps away from Makoto before he changes his mind.  “Yeah.  See you soon.”  He turns and walks out to the medal ceremony as the next race’s winners are announced.  He and Makoto have forever to figure each other out, but for now he’s going to go accept the first in a long line of medals to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow what a journey. I started this after episode 2 of Eternal summer, and here were are seven(?) months later as it finally concludes. This was quite a ride. I want to thank everyone who's been here from the beginning and answered the polls. You guys were the ones who set the pairing of the story, and I enjoyed the challenge of molding the plot to meet your needs. To you newbies who popped in somwhere in the middle or here at the end: thank you for reading this far. As a fanfic author it means a lot when people read all the way through to the end. To those of you excited for the sequel: I will work on this after SouRin week. I will also start the pirate AU. You should see those up sometime in the next few months. Thank all of you for reading, and I hope you had as much fun with this as I did. Till next time: keep calm and splash free. :)


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